“I went to a general store but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.” ~Stephen Wright
Sheriff, Santa, Perv
This mannequin was outside a Missouri general store … one of those places that has aisles that don’t accommodate two middle American’s side-by-side, but nevertheless insists on busing a bunch of middle Americans there and entices them to buy ten-cent candy that they have the nerve to call penny candy.
I had a panic attack in this store. It manifested at the register when the man checking me out stopped … mid-check-out, set of Authors playing cards held an inch from the scanning gun … to have a conversation with a co-worker two registers away. He probably didn’t want to do two things at once. Who does?
“You’re not too concerned that you might not get employee of the month, are you?” I asked.
He laughed. “Things just move a little slower in these parts.”
“I noticed,” I said. “That Santa Sheriff outside hasn’t moved once that I’ve seen.”
He told me that wasn’t the real sheriff.
“He might be the real Santa, though. It appears he’s got something for you.”
I don’t think he got it.
(And, yes, that’s my panic attack. I can’t help it. Smart-alecry is a symptom not a choice.)
messiestobjects said,
March 22, 2009 at 3:44 pm
I think Sheriff Santa is trying to keep it down so he doesn’t have to arrest himself when the children start crying. Or maybe he wants to arrest himself. Looks like he might enjoy “arresting” himself all the live long day.