Watch this trailer for Cat Shit One, an animated series made by Studio Anima that says it’s coming this winter. Nevertheless, you’ll probably want to send this link to all of your friends for Easter:
One of my BFFs sent me this trailer. That’s right, I said BFF. I’m comfortable with adopting slang that was cool to pre-teens 10 years ago and hip to make fun of 5 years ago. In the 2020s I’ll be saying “that’s how I roll.” I can’t say it yet though. No, thank you.
Still, when it comes to the razor sharp cutting-edge, jump back, because I this unbelievable youtube of Japanese madness is going to cut you. Please watch it now, because I want to talk about it as if you’ve seen it. I promise, it’s worth hanging in there through the overly long, Star Wars-esque beginning “In a galaxy far, far away…” crap. Well, it might be utterly fascinating exposition. In fact, it might explain a thing or two. I wouldn’t know. I’m one of those lame Americans who can only read English and a few things in languages that use Latin-based alphabets. I’m not proud if it, but my plan to learn a language a year stopped in college when I took a Russian class and I felt like I was being hostilely interrogated in a Ukrainian border prison during war time whenever my teacher spoke to me.
Speaking of war time, looks like those bunnies have invaded the holy land. Who hasn’t? At first I thought maybe this was some sort of furries thing and eventually there would be disturbing costumed sex. But, no. Apparently the animation is drawn to look like costumed humans, which is a little clunky. I mean, bunnies are supposed to be quick. But, oh, how this is the least of the disturbing things. It’s like worrying that your lawn is getting charred as your house burns to the ground.
So, the Japanese are bunny warriors and the Arab-like enemies are camels. Yep. That’s right. Someone in a pitch meeting said “Bunnies vs. Camels.” To put a finer point on it … bunnies in kangols versus camels in keffiyehs. With machine guns. And it’s called Cat Shit One. Wow. I want those creators as my friends. Why do we only come up with mainstream, financially sound ideas? Why can’t one of my friends say Cat Shit One to me? Why? t
“Food is an important part of a balanced diet.” ~Fran Lebowitz
Super Poutine
I was searching for a description of poutine and came across a site called this is why you’re fat. It has loads of pictures of high calorie foods that will turn any hardcore foodie off. Twinky Weiner Sandwich. Sausage Egg and Cheese on a chocolate glazed donut. Deep fried coca cola. What? It’s just so unnecessary. So, check it out if you want a cure for your gluttony.
Still, I want to try poutine, which is the Canadian version of Kelly fries, aka french fries with cheese and gravy … a greasy spoon favorite of my youth. Poutine is fries topped with cheese curds and gravy. Yeah, I know. It sounds gross. I still want to try it. I can’t resist regional specialties. I’ve wanted that baguette au saucisson since high school French class. I’m not even exactly sure what saucisson is.
I don’t want to eat fried Oreos. I’m sort-of annoyed that they try to push that garbage at ethnic street festivals. They’re not ethnic nor are they regional specialties. They are “experimenting with the new deep fryer.” You don’t sell that stuff. You reminisce about it along with graveyard soda’s and raw egg shakes you drank after watching the intro to CHiPs. Gah.
“I went to a general store but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.” ~Stephen Wright
Sheriff, Santa, Perv
This mannequin was outside a Missouri general store … one of those places that has aisles that don’t accommodate two middle American’s side-by-side, but nevertheless insists on busing a bunch of middle Americans there and entices them to buy ten-cent candy that they have the nerve to call penny candy.
I had a panic attack in this store. It manifested at the register when the man checking me out stopped … mid-check-out, set of Authors playing cards held an inch from the scanning gun … to have a conversation with a co-worker two registers away. He probably didn’t want to do two things at once. Who does?
“You’re not too concerned that you might not get employee of the month, are you?” I asked.
He laughed. “Things just move a little slower in these parts.”
“I noticed,” I said. “That Santa Sheriff outside hasn’t moved once that I’ve seen.”
He told me that wasn’t the real sheriff.
“He might be the real Santa, though. It appears he’s got something for you.”
I don’t think he got it.
(And, yes, that’s my panic attack. I can’t help it. Smart-alecry is a symptom not a choice.)
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” ~Dalai Lama
Liu Xiaobo
Today’s a great day to help a writer in trouble. No, I’m not asking for donations so I can write at my leisure. Yeah, that would be great. But you know what else is great? Not being in jail. Not being in jail for signing petitions my gov’ment doesn’t like. That’s super. You know who would also think that’s super. Liu Xiaobo.
Liu Xiaobo is a human rights activist who wants free speech and free elections in China. He’s been detained since Dec. 8, 2008 and hasn’t been able to speak with a lawyer. A bunch of writers including Salman Rushdie and Margaret Atwood sent a letter to the Chinese government calling for his release, but they didn’t do anything. Can you imagine? Getting a letter from Salman and just ignoring it? These people don’t know who they’re dealing with. Salman will write a novel about you that will bring you to your knees, you suckers.
Ok, so I know what you’re thinking. If Margaret and Salman can’t help, who can? In the words of Dave Kovic, “You don’t really know how much you can do until you stand up and decide to try…” or something like that. I’m bad at quoting.
So, go to the PEN American Center site, copy the excellent letter they wrote, and send it to the address they’ve listed for your convenience. It’s something. Now, don’t you feel good?
I came across this trailer for “Crank 2: High Voltage” and I had to post it because it’s just breathtakingly ridiculous. A montage unbelievable choices. I’m stunned that it exists.
Aside to the person who approved this mess: I know a video editor who can piece together a great story. Please, email me. I’ll hook you up with him.
