Excuse This Interruption*

“Don’t care how you look, it’s just how you feel.” ~Spice Girls

An Open Letter to the Spice Girls:

Dear Scary, Baby, Ginger, Posh, and Sporty,

We appreciate your attempt to reunite for the sake of the “fans” in the name of “friendship,” but we have a ridiculous, pseudo-girl-band. They’re called The Pussycat Dolls. They filled the void you left. Some would argue that you didn’t leave a void at all. However, you apparently did, and we got them. So, you see, your reunion is just crowding that space.

Additionally, Geri, I watched the music video for Headlines (above) and I should tell you, Madonna is our “much too thin, aged pop-star with too few clothes and frightening ripped abs.”

Sincerely,

Julie Luongo

PS. Mel C, I’m sorry your solo career isn’t going well. I like your voice.

*To my friends who prefer high culture to pop culture, I’m sorry for this drivel. If you only have a vague recollection of The Spice Girls, here’s a picture of them from the late 90s, in their former glory:

The Spice Girls in the 90s

Here they are today:

Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham – b. 1974: Hypnotoad Spice. (Don’t look directly into her eyes. That’s how she got David Beckham under her spell):

Victoria Beckham

Scary Spice, Melanie Brown – b. 1975: Not-As-Scary-as-Posh-Spice Spice

Mel B

Ginger Spice, Geri Halliwell – b. 1972: Suspected Mental Disorder Spice

Geri Haliwell

Baby Spice, Emma Bunton – b. 1976: Needs Rogaine Spice

Emma Bunton

Sporty Spice, Melanie Chisholm – b. 1974: Actual Talent Spice

Mel C
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16 Comments

  1. December 13, 2007 at 9:08 pm

    Hee hee!

  2. Sarah said,

    December 13, 2007 at 10:48 pm

    i managed to listen to 23 seconds of that horrible song.

  3. Sissy said,

    December 13, 2007 at 11:09 pm

    “Tell me what you want?”

    I’ll tell you that I don’t want to have to look at aging pop stars in their underwear.

    The Spice Girls are the ultimate car accident. I can’t look away. And then I hate myself and feel dirty about it. And scroll back up the page to look at them some more.

    I give this post a 9.3 for draw.

  4. julieluongo said,

    December 13, 2007 at 11:36 pm

    Sorry about the video. I had to include it because of Ginger Spice writhing against the door with her weird abs showing. I just needed someone else to see it.

  5. Oprah Boy said,

    December 14, 2007 at 5:55 pm

    I like the Spice Girls. I don’t care about their music at all but they seem(ed) a lot less messed up than Britney did when she came about. Sure they had a commercialized, tarted up version of “Girl Power” but it seemed more positive than Brit’s slut power and more personality than the boy bands. I’m also upset that Victoria Beckham’s reality show got canceled due to horrible reviews. We watched it and thought it was funny

    By the way – everyone should watch this:

    http://www.npr.org/blogs/monitormix/2007/12/a_look_towards_the_future.html

    her blog is pretty good

    and this:
    http://www.thunderant.com/?p=27

    …just because I love Carrie and there’s a Corin cameo.

  6. December 15, 2007 at 8:18 am

    Got a little bit confused while reading :S

  7. julieluongo said,

    December 16, 2007 at 2:31 pm

    Well, facts interesting, I’d be glad help. When did this confusion start?

  8. SPANK said,

    December 16, 2007 at 5:49 pm

    prolly started with the “rogain spice” that was earth shattering for me too.

    did you know sporty spice had an eating disorder? well i think perhaps they all did.

    I agree with sissy this is a good draw. i never saw posh’s show but I understood that she was kinda spoofing herself and people took it seriously. I saw her on Ellen and she was kinda funny. or maybe ellen was kinda funny. hard to say.

  9. julieluongo said,

    December 16, 2007 at 11:28 pm

    Oh, ok, thanks. So, since we’re speaking of clarification…what does “good draw” mean?

  10. Oprah Boy said,

    December 17, 2007 at 9:30 am

    I think a good draw is something that puts asses in the seats.

  11. julieluongo said,

    December 17, 2007 at 2:43 pm

    Oh, right. Makes sense.

  12. spank said,

    December 29, 2007 at 6:50 pm

    yeah….like a interesting subject matter. or a car accident. either way.

  13. julieluongo said,

    December 29, 2007 at 8:24 pm

    Speedy von Spanky with a response 13 days later. That’s how you build suspense. Suspensey von Spanky. Why the ‘von’? I don’t know.

  14. Sissy said,

    December 30, 2007 at 10:07 am

    LOL! Von Spanky. A refreshing twist.

  15. January 28, 2008 at 3:05 pm

    I too really liked these gals back in the day – but things change and people change.

    I prefer a more authentic approach to entertainment – real people acting REAL – and these Brits seem like they are all under the “nip-tuck” spell of Holly-weird.

    Wouldn’t it be nice to see them acting more “goofy” again – like the Beetle’s “Hard Day’s Night”?

  16. julieluongo said,

    January 28, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    Good idea, VOM. You should advise them.


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