Q: What Do You Call a Polish Author?

A: Prisoner #9248.

Book cover for Amok by Krystian Bala

Krystian Bala, a Polish thriller “fiction” writer, was recently convicted of planning the abduction, torture, and murder of Dariusz Janiszewski, a lover of Bala’s estranged wife. After a long court case, Bala was sentenced to 25 years in prison. How did he get caught? He detailed the crime in his bestselling book.

Here’s what happened. After the body was found in a river in December of 2000, there was little evidence and the case was eventually dropped. In 2003 Bala published Amok, a story about the malaise of sadists. Torture and murder can be so humdrum.

A number of people tipped off detectives and in 2005 the case was reopened as the murder described in the book made sense of the Janiszewski murder. The allusion in the news reports I’ve read is that Bala was bragging about the “Perfect Crime” while on a SCUBA trip in East Asia because while he was there several people from his trip destinations called police advising them to read Amok. This isn’t clear though.

Neverthless, they did detain Bala. But there was insufficient evidence to prosecute and he was released. Later police discovered that Bala knew Janiszewski, had called him around the time of his murder, and had sold his cell phone on the internet a few days after the murder. The case was reopened and Bala was prosecuted and convicted.

The Bala camp is appealing. Naturally, Bala, with his keen imagination, dreamed up the details of the fictional murder and any similarity between the events or people depicted and real events or people, living or dead, was purely coincidental. I guess that disclaimer isn’t iron clad.

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Regardless of Irresponsible Word Usage

“Whether or not the property belonged to Mr. Simpson or not is still in debate. Having said that, the manner in which this property was taken, we have a responsibility to look into that, irregardless of who the property belonged to.” ~ Lt. Clint Nichols

1600 Pennsylvania Ave By Messiest Objects

Yahoo News published the above quote by Lt. Clint Nichols. I’m not sure if it’s more annoying that Lt. Clint Nichols said “irregardless” or that a news agency that I check regularly published it without a [sic].

Now, I’m not particularly persnickety about word usage. I don’t mind most slang. In fact, I like the evolution of language. But I have a problem with words that came about from the speaker’s attempt to “sound smart.” Naturally, the opposite effect is achieved. And really, a police lieutenant doesn’t know that the word he wants is “regardless?” Arg!

Tarting up words is a ridiculous way to try to seem smart and it’s painful for the listener. Especially the polite listener who can’t say, “you idiot, that’s not a word!” Now that I really think about it, I probably shouldn’t hold my tongue. I suspect people who use “irregardless” don’t know it’s not a word. I’m not doing them any favors by cringing inwardly.

I suppose irregardless is a word now. But it’s a joke. It reminds me of the Yogi Berra quote, “This is like deja vu all over again.” Lately I’ve been noticing that this phrase, said without irony, has come into popular use. I’m just guessing that the people who can’t say deja vu without tagging with “all over again” don’t even know who Yogi Berra is.

I don’t really blame the speakers. As G.W. Bush said, “You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.” And with a message like that, is it any wonder that we’ve gone so wrong? Maybe I’m just misunderestimating people. I guess that’s the chance you take when you judge a speaker by his words.

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Happy Anniversary, julieluongo.com

“People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Cheers

I’ve been blogging since Sept 10, 2006 in anticipation of the publication of my first novel, The Hard Way. True to form, I missed my own anniversary. It’s a good thing I don’t get mad about that sort of stuff. So, I guess it’s time for a yearly round-up.

Well, I began, with the help of my pal Matt at One Kind Act, a little self consciously with a blogging mission where I joked that “I blog therefore I am (solipsistic).” Oh, how true.

Pretty quickly I abandoned my search for truth and started a search for YouTubes I liked, including the weatherman who was scared of the cockroach, David Cross goofing on Jim Belushi, and Allison Janney lip syncing to The Jackal.

I posted about Lindsay Lohan (yawn). And things/people I hate. I also posted some cool virtual distractions, like:

I’m especially fond of some of the art I found including:

High points in blogging include:

It’s been good fun writing. And still the book’s not out yet. Soon, though. Very soon. Thanks for reading.

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Fishkini: Sicken of the Sea

“Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream.” ~Malcolm Muggeridge

Fishkini - the fishscale bikini

Fishkini - the fishscale bikini

Brought to you from Thailand, the waterproof bikini, another fabulous innovation in fashion. It’s a fishkini, made from tilapia scales. Here’s the link to the YouTube on the production of the fishkini.

I’m sorry. I can’t proceed with this post. A fishscale bikini? There are too many possibilities for jokes. It’s short-circuited my brain.

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And Happy New 3rd Millennium, Dog Killers

“The whole history of calendar-making is that of successive attempts to reconcile the irreconcilable, and the numberless systems of intercalated months, and the like, are thus of minor scientific interest.” ~Joseph Needham

Salvador Dali’s Melting Clock by lianu

I almost forgot to wish all of the followers of the Coptic Calendar a Happy New Millenium. In Addis Ababa, the party planners moved all of the homeless people to the countryside and poisoned the stray dogs to tidy up for the big day. What a bunch of humanitarians. I think both transient dogs and people make for a better party. But what do I know? I’m a slave to the Gregorian calendar.

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The Missing Link

“A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.” ~Jessamyn West

I haven’t seen all of these internet people. I’ll admit, I did see a good many of them while enjoying an adult beverage in the local hotel bar over the past year. I really enjoyed that Washington one Gary posted. Great, now I’m going to have to seek the others out. Yep, I’m common folk with broad taste in humor.

(Thanks, Jenn.)

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Burning Man Learns about Playing with Fire

“When evil men plot, good men must plan. When evil men burn and bomb, good men must build and bind. When evil men shout ugly words of hatred, good men must commit themselves to the glories of love.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Antibiotics won’t stop that burning, man

The Burning Man festival has once again turned to ash. And like the phoenix, it prepares again for rebirth. Sorry about that. I was just over at the Burning Man site, and I was inspired to use cliched symbolism.

Now, I’m an art fan and am especially fond of new work, weirdo stuff, and installations. Yeah, I dig all of that. Plus, I like to hear artists talk about their work. I actually “get it.” And yet, the Burning Man annoys me. So, naturally, I’ve kept tabs on it for the last 8 years. What? Do you ignore things you deride? Where’s the fun in that?

I haven’t been hoping for reports from the Black Rock Desert similar to the stories from Woodstock II. I prefer violence and rape-free festivals. But I don’t expect much from people in crowds. Especially not people in the desert in the middle of the summer? Are ya kidding? Art festivals should be in the cool of fall or spring in cities with good restaurants. Or they should be right up the street from your apartment so you can have friends over and sit on the porch and people watch.

I’ll give them credit though. They really do seem to have a respectful, wacky, peaceful time out there in Nevada…until this year when someone burned the Burning Man early pissing off a whole bunch of free-spirits. Oh, to be the freest of all the free spirits. Can you imagine enraging people whose mission statement says things like:

Burning Man is radically inclusive, and its meaning is potentially accessible to anyone.

Radically inclusive, you say? I wonder if that includes the guy who burned the Burning Man early? I mean, will it include him next year? I know he was there this year. Doy.

So, is destroying the property of an LLC a creative-destructive act? That’s like Meta-Burning Man, man.

The touchstone of value in our culture will always be immediacy: experience before theory, moral relationships before politics, survival before services, roles before jobs, embodied ritual before symbolism, work before vested interest, participant support before sponsorship.

Free love before frat boys who want to hook up with hippie girls on X. (There’s my derision and contempt for the crowd mentality.)

Finally, in order to accomplish these ends, Burning Man must endure as a self-supporting enterprise that is capable of sustaining the lives of those who dedicate themselves to its work. From this devotion spring those duties that we owe to one another. We will always burn the Man.

Or someone else will, early, irritating everyone and endangering lives because when you play with fire … well, you know the rest. Ouch.

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Things I’m Over

“Always be yourself… unless you suck.” ~Joss Whedon

by Ebeth Scott-Sinclair

  1. Going to other people’s family parties
  2. Enduring concerts just because someone had an extra ticket
  3. Thinking that one day I’ll know more about wine
  4. Suffering through outdoor festivals in 100 degree weather
  5. Feeling bad for not doing what someone asked me to do
  6. Buying stuff I don’t absolutely need
  7. Having sympathy for people who keep making the same bad choices
  8. Wishing, on occasion, that I had a normal job
  9. Calling my friends when I don’t have anything to tell them
  10. Writing this post

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Over it.

I Do Wanna Be with Me Night and Day

“Our life is frittered away by detail … simplify, simplify.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Between Night and Day

I just found my so-called Life’s Theme Song in a database that has the top song for every day of every year from 1950 to the present. Your theme, for the purposes of this game, is the hit on your 18th birthday.

  • My theme is Baby I Love Your Way / Freebird Medley (Free Baby) by Will To Power (that’s the US hit).
  • The top song in the US on my birthday was I Think I Love You by The Partridge Family.
  • And the bizarre American holiday on my birthday? National Fritters Day.

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I’m glad I know this.