“Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.” ~Albert Einstein
I took my first trip without my dog to the cabin in the woods where I like to write. I’d been avoiding it, saying my car wasn’t up to the task. But when the opportunity to go north in a reliable car came up, I realized my hesitation was all about Bear, or his absence.
I used to take the trip yearly, at least. It was one of his most favorite places on earth (as far as I could tell) and the one vacation spot I knew we’d both enjoy. I’m a sap. I always pretended I didn’t dote on my dog, but I might have. I probably did. Ok, I did. I took a yearly trip for his sake. Sheesh. So, I guess, after he died, I just didn’t see the point of going there anymore. I felt like I should probably go on trips I could take without him.
But the cabin isn’t about the dog. It’s about me. The cabin centers me. I focus, I rest, I reset. I don’t even remember that I had worries. And when I return, I get excited anew about the things I love. I see why Bear liked it at the cabin so much. His human shed her baggage there.
Ah, well, so what does this mean? I think I’ll start writing here a bit about the book writing process. I never thought it was all that interesting. I sit, I write, I walk around, I think, I research, I write, I edit. But there’s other stuff that goes into it that might be interesting to someone. And I suppose that’s worth it.
I’m probably going to meditate more. I just read about a meditation guru, Sharon Salzburg. This link was sent to me by a friend who is getting into meditation. (He doesn’t read my blog.) He thought I’d like her. I do.
The link is for a workshop about working with your enemies, without and within. The text goes on to say that they will help people break down the “us” and “them” mentality. I know this idea. Well, I know a version of it. Or, rather it brings to mind this: everything we experience, we brought on ourselves. There isn’t someone terrorizing us. There is no world conspiring against us. We create our experiences. And we learn the things we set ourselves up to learn. (Sometimes.) So, I guess that knowing something new about ourselves helps us know more about the world and probably, in the final analysis, shows us how little we know about anything.
I’m not presuming to guess what Sharon Salzburg and her colleague are aiming to teach people. It’s just that the mention of “us” and “them” reminded me of what I’ve heard on the subject. I suspect she goes deeper with it. There’s probably some business in their workshop about us all being connected. And, of course, we are connected to everything past, present, and future. It’s an easy thing to remember when we need a little perspective. And it’s closer than a cabin 5.5 hours away.
So, what’s important in the end? Is it that you tried your best? Is it that you were thought of as a good person? Is it that you were honest or a truth seeker? Is it that you were impressive at something? Is it that you were brave or you helped people or you showed courage when it was needed? Is it that you expressed yourself creatively? Is it that you were good at something and other people appreciated it or other people might someday appreciate it? Is it that people liked you or you were kind? Is it that you raised a good kid or had a loving relationship or loyal friends?
Maybe priorities change over time. Maybe they change with situations. Maybe we all want a little bit of everything and more. I suppose it’s a good thing that what’s important isn’t the same for everyone. If we all wanted to be kind or honest or impressive, then who would pick up the slack? Who would provide the balance? Who would tell the emperor he had no clothes? Or Goldilocks that she was not entitled to the Little Bear’s porridge? Or the Little Boy that no one will save him if he keeps crying wolf?
Goldilock’s didn’t deserve the porridge. She broke the bear’s stuff. She needed to learn a little respect. And the bears who told her so were not her enemies. So, I guess what I’m saying is that if we have enemies, it’s not about them, it’s about us and something we need to work on. It’s not fun. But, the thing about looking at the things that cut us to the core is that if we can identify the problem, we can probably fix it.
A while ago, years now, I suffered a big hurt. Ouch. Big one. And I looked at it, and I saw my weakness. Oh, and I cried about it. I cried and I pouted and I made decrees about who I would be from then on in reference to the person who stabbed me. Then I talked about it to my levelheaded friend Julie P. and we figured out why I was so hurt. We got to the core. And then we figured out why I held onto that crappy belief. Then she told me I didn’t have to think that way.
I took a big step, and I told myself that I didn’t have to think that way. Now I reap the benefits of that choice. I still love and talk to the person who hurt me. In fact, he’s the one who sent the meditation link…and, come to think of it, the one who challenged me to write fiction…and the one who still tells me the truth even when he knows it might hurt. He’s important to the creation of me.
But that’s just one piece of the puzzle. From what I can tell, the puzzle is big. And Truth and Knowledge are slippery buggers. I guess I’m just hoping to do my best to noodle them out for myself (act locally) and everyone else I’m connected to (think globally).
