“All good things were at one time bad things; every original sin has developed into an original virtue.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche
Oh, I couldn’t hate a product more than this “Naughty Duvet Cover / Adam and Eve Bedding” that was apparently all the rage in 2006. I know what you’re thinking…what if I sleep on the other side of the bed? You’re in luck. The blanket is reversible. Oh, wait, that’s not what you’re thinking, is it? You’re thinking, get this hideous picture off of my computer screen right now. I don’t blame you. It’s an abomimation. But it’s original and it is a sin…so, there you go.
Pegster said,
June 28, 2007 at 5:29 am
aaaaagggggghhhhhh!!! mind bleach!
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 7:12 am
do i see a navel ring? Nice touch
Jenn said,
June 28, 2007 at 9:09 am
It’s really kind of gross and stupid, not to mention discriminatory. Where are the olive and dark skin toned ones? Gay and lesbian? If you’re going to be gross and stupid, everyone should be included.
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 9:13 am
yeah and i wanna see fatso’s with outta contol muff jhair…..hahahahahaha
Gary said,
June 28, 2007 at 9:26 am
muff jihad – sounds good.
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 9:29 am
lol
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 9:37 am
Yeah, but where is the hole in this duvet cover? What a useless contraption.
Matt Lesoine said,
June 28, 2007 at 9:39 am
See I was just under the opposite impression. I thought it was pretty good. With one of those on my bed, I’d appear to be physically built like the picture and that can only help me out.
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 9:46 am
but without the hole, when you peel back the cover…i am in serious trouble
Christy said,
June 28, 2007 at 10:02 am
So Jenn – You’re looking for a multi racial gang bang on the comforter?
michael said,
June 28, 2007 at 10:42 am
Multi-racial gang bangs are even more fun than itty bitty gang bangs.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 10:43 am
I don’t know, Matt. From here, that guy’s curvier than she is. He’s kind of stressing me out.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 10:58 am
“muff jihad – sounds good.”
I think those are actually called “fatwats”.
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:04 am
dood, when i first read that i thought you said fat twats…and i was all like…whoaaaa whipping out the fat twat before lunch heather, that is some bold shit.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:06 am
Yes. Well. I remember when Salman Rushdie had that fatwat on his head. Poor Salman.
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:07 am
yes, indeed.
Christy said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:10 am
This has been my favorite Q/A joke for years…
Q: Hey – Have you heard about Salman Rushdie’s new book?
(person typically says no – and many times you have to explain who he is ruining the joke)
A: It’s called Buddha That Fat Fuck.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:17 am
A ha ha ha ha. That’s awesome.
julieluongo said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:32 am
The Buddha walks into a pizza place and says, “Make me one with everything.”
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:33 am
A ha ha ha ha.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:36 am
If we’re telling jokes, I’m in trouble because I only know the one. And it’s long. You’ll have to go on without me.
Christy said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:38 am
Remind me to tell you all the clown joke when you’re all good and drunk…
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:48 am
i dont know any jokes. plus im terrible at telling them.
i find that i get good laughs just telling about my everyday life. because tragedy to spank is hilarity on the blog. gotta love it
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:57 am
Clown Jokes! Dragon Painting Contests! I think we just started a festival. We will need a Biergarten, live music, and Port-a-Potties.
Gary said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:03 pm
I wish I was drunk.
Gary said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:05 pm
they have fat-twat, we just have normal t.w.a.t. – which seems reversed to me, considering how many fat people we’ve got.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:17 pm
My goal in life suddenly is to hear this clown joke. It’s got an Aristocrats kind of mystique to me now. I’m psyched to know such a clown joke exists. It is a new Grail.
No. Maybe I shouldn’t ever hear it. I just developed clown-joke anxiety.
Christy said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:25 pm
It brought about 150 people to silence at a horror convention recently.
Christy said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:26 pm
150 or so really drunk nerds.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:26 pm
I have to have it. It is my Precious.
Matt Lesoine said,
June 28, 2007 at 1:15 pm
I like inappropriate jokes.
To quote Homer (Simpson that is not the Odyssey one): “Remember kids stereotypes are funny because they’re true.”
To: Julie, Love: Spanky « Sissy Things said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:20 pm
[...] will never believe what Julie has on her blog. It is, by far, the most outrageous Internet corruption to which I have ever stood [...]
Sissy said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Hello ladies/gents. Spank wanted to me share something with you. It’s on my blog. She made it herself.
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:32 pm
no no they already saw it
Sissy said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:39 pm
WTF!!!!!???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:40 pm
It’s 2:40 in the pm, Sissy. We’ve been making the donuts since 7:00.
Sissy said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:52 pm
I guess I can put my mixer away, then. Good thing. I’m out of eggs.
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:54 pm
its cool…now i got my own page. course i liked the boobie one better…ck out heahter and garys pics
michael said,
June 28, 2007 at 3:22 pm
What’s better than showering with a 16 year old girl?
Showering with a 12 year old girl, because when you slick back her hair she looks like an 8 year old boy.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Ew. Ew. A ha ha ha ha ha.
michael said,
June 28, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Sorry. Orlando must be getting to me.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 3:38 pm
It’s understood. It’s what the locals call “a given.”
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 3:38 pm
How’s the ass-surveillance?
michael said,
June 28, 2007 at 3:42 pm
I blogged.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 3:46 pm
A-ha. Well, you have to just kind of clutch your return ticket and keep chanting silently, “I WILL get out. I WILL get out.” It’ll be over soon.
julieluongo said,
June 28, 2007 at 4:25 pm
So, Michael, let me get this straight….you go to Centralia, a depressing, dead coal town and have a great time. You go to Orlando, the most popular US tourist destination and you can only take the very basest misanthropic pleasure from it?
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 4:27 pm
That’s our boy!
michael said,
June 28, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Yeah, and?
julieluongo said,
June 28, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Naturally, I’m compelled to point out what the Centralia trip had that is starkly missing from the Orlando trip.
julieluongo said,
June 28, 2007 at 4:36 pm
You’re on the edge of your seat, aren’t you?
julieluongo said,
June 28, 2007 at 4:38 pm
The catalyst for all things fun…
julieluongo said,
June 28, 2007 at 4:38 pm
Miss Luongo!
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 4:39 pm
Oooh. I was thinking, “noxious fumes.” But yes! Miss Luongo makes more sense!
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 4:40 pm
“Poisonous underground chemicals!”
Sissy said,
June 28, 2007 at 4:42 pm
Hah!
Sissy said,
June 28, 2007 at 4:43 pm
I have no idea what that “hah” meant. It’s the sound that came to mind after trailing through those last few comments.
Ignore me.
julieluongo said,
June 28, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Boys are used to noxious fumes everywhere:
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 4:49 pm
Ha ha ha ha. Boys. Silly.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Sissy’s avatar looks like mebbe it just came back from Centralia. What happened to you in there, black box of blackness?
Sarah said,
June 28, 2007 at 8:22 pm
I thought this picture was another bad photo-crop job and only saw that it was a ridiculous cover when I read it!
Sarah said,
June 28, 2007 at 8:35 pm
Oh, and you don’t want to have that creepy guy body.
julieluongo said,
June 28, 2007 at 8:35 pm
Oh, Sarah, I’m sorry you saw it. Now your Christmas present is ruined! Don’t show Jim. I’ll get it for him.
Sissy said,
June 28, 2007 at 10:05 pm
I totally thought it was a photoshop job, too. As I read, my eyes kept shifting back to the pic, and, whoa. It was real. But before I even stopped in over here this morning, I posted up this handicapped joke that I thought would make people come to Julie’s. It says something like, there’s an outrageous thing on Julie’s blog and I had to click this link eleven times for the pic to come up, yadda, yadda. In the event that anyone fell for it, they were most likely pleased that the pic came up right away. I did’t know there was a pic….
I’m sorry. Was I still talking? Where’s Gary when I need him to tell me shut up!
spanky said,
June 29, 2007 at 7:10 am
where is JIM?
Jenn said,
June 29, 2007 at 8:15 am
Actually, Christy, I’ve been conditioned to expect and demand diversity in everything. It’s a side effect of working in corporate america, where old white men put as many women and non-caucasians between them and the wolf at the door.
As for Orlando, how can a place that features a giant mouse and the song It’s a Small World over and over NOT get to you?
Christy said,
June 29, 2007 at 9:27 am
I work for a large pharmaceutical company and see the same thing. It’s empty, hollow and smacks of racism in and of itself. It’s another thing on a huge stack of shit that makes me really really dislike people – especially “civilized” people.
spanky said,
June 29, 2007 at 9:31 am
Im just glad my company gave me internet acess so i can fulfill my lofe long dream of blogging for a living
Jenn said,
June 29, 2007 at 9:53 am
Since you work in pharmaceuticals, you’ll appreciate this. One of the pharma companies I worked for promoted itself as a “Women’s Health” company, yet there were no women in any positions of real power. And one of their main products was marketed by a team composed COMPLETELY of men. Go figure.
It’s what inspired me to coin the phrase, “It pays to have a penis”
spanky said,
June 29, 2007 at 9:58 am
nice
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 10:11 am
I think I can beat you all. My workplace has two entrances: one in the front, and one in the back. I’m just going to let you ponder that for a while.
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 10:14 am
Let me be more specific: management is allowed to use the front entrance, the peons are required to use the rear. Ah, yes. The rear.
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 10:14 am
Perhaps one could guess what the ethnic breakdown is between “front” entrants and “back” entrants. Maybe you could guess. Maybe you’d be right.
spanky said,
June 29, 2007 at 10:21 am
i love using the back door.
hahahahahahah um no i dont
Jenn said,
June 29, 2007 at 10:24 am
We had two entrances as well in one of the places I worked, but all employees were required to use the back entrance (and parking lot). The front entrance was only for vendors and guests.
spanky said,
June 29, 2007 at 10:30 am
I usually just crawl thru this side window i broke
michael said,
June 29, 2007 at 10:39 am
I haven’t gone to Disney yet, so that’s not even the part getting to me… Really what bothers me is all the child raping going on here. I mean, yesterday in my hotel parking lot there was a 300 pound dude with a thin scraggly mustache in a stained ill-fitting white T-shirt and wearing Mickey Mouse ears “playing” with a kid he’d lured into the back seat of his station wagon with the claim that he was personal friends with Goofy and I was like, dude, that’s not cool. At least make your come-on beliveable.
Pegster said,
June 29, 2007 at 10:42 am
we have an office door and a plant door. The fruits and vegetables use the plant door.
Pegster said,
June 29, 2007 at 10:45 am
It’s Disney… it’s not real
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 10:59 am
“It’s Disney… it’s not real.”
I’m sorry. What?
Christy said,
June 29, 2007 at 11:06 am
Michael – You sure have a hard ass case of body dismorphic disorder. We should get you some help for that.
Pegster said,
June 29, 2007 at 11:07 am
Really what bothers me is all the child raping going on here
It’s Disney… it’s not real
That is all
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 11:10 am
I thought you were trying to say the magical magicky magicness of the magical land of Mickey Mouse wasn’t real. Like, the next thing you’ll be trying to tell me is Santa’s not real. I thought, “Why is the bad lady saying the bad things?” I was skerred.
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 11:10 am
That was so close.
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 11:22 am
When I was little, I was terrified of “It’s A Small World.” Those dolls scarred me for life. With their little beady wooden eyes. WHY AREN’T YOU BLINKING, DOLLS? WHY?
spanky said,
June 29, 2007 at 11:24 am
all dolls are scarey. which is why i cut all their hair off and ripped off their heads. then i would calming play with my snoopy stuffed animals. i loved snoopy
Jenn said,
June 29, 2007 at 11:48 am
Porcelain dolls with glass eyes are evil.
Jenn said,
June 29, 2007 at 11:49 am
Damn it. Anyway, that’s why I have to leave when I walk around the corner in an antique store and am confronted with a shelf full of antique porcelain dolls. Usually I send my husband ahead to scout these things out so I can avoid them.
Christy said,
June 29, 2007 at 11:50 am
For Michael –
http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d19/klopfensteinc/nonconSensual.png
julieluongo said,
June 29, 2007 at 12:20 pm
I have theories about Jim:
1. He’s on vacation
2. He’s sick of me
3. He’s busy
4. He’s sick of you
5. He’s annoyed b/c for no apparent reason, all of his comments started going to the spam box. All of them! Weird.
6. He hated all of the praise he got that one day and he decided he couldn’t risk another love fest
7. He bumped his head and doesn’t remember that there are blogs he checks or that there is such a thing as computer technology, for that matter
8. He got a girlfriend and he’s shacking up for that magical first month where nothing matters but the sex and face sucking
9. He’s lurking, waiting to see if we miss him
10. He’s got the crud and is sick in bed
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 12:23 pm
“6. He hated all of the praise he got that one day and he decided he couldn’t risk another love fest.”
Is what I was afraid of. It’d have given me the performance anxietaye.
I thought maybe he thought I was hitting on him. Which is ridiculous. I don’t show people YouTubes of Telly Savalas when I hit on them. Only Barry White.
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Maybe if we tell him we DON’T want him around, he’ll come back. I’ll go first…
“Hoooweee! I’m glad that chancre Jim got his sorry ass gone from here. One more word out of him, and I’d have punched him in his beady wooden eye.”
Sissy said,
June 29, 2007 at 12:55 pm
And number 11:
Jim is rolling around naked on his bed, covered in thumb tacks and rubber bands, roaring like a fire-breathing dragon.
Sissy said,
June 29, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Has anyone tried knocking on his door?
Gary said,
June 29, 2007 at 1:04 pm
I’d like to mention that I never praised Jim ever. Jim you suck.
Christy said,
June 29, 2007 at 1:07 pm
I’d just like to chime in here and remind you all that this is very very gay.
Sissy said,
June 29, 2007 at 1:08 pm
Julie, do what I do when people up and disappear on me. Write a story about them. Any story you want, because, hey, he’s gone!
Sissy said,
June 29, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Thanks for the heads-up, Christy. It’s always the bullshit right in front of my nose that I can’t see for myself.
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 1:47 pm
I wish Christy would quit trying to get us into bed all the time. We’re trying to seduce JIM. J-I-M.
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 1:52 pm
He’s Crummy Saint, right? Maybe what he needs is some sort of salad-related bribery. Tongs, perhaps. Someone lure him out with salad tongs. Or maybe one of those huge crappy wooden salad bowls from the 70s. The kind with all the keys in it.
“JIMMAYE, CAN YOU HEAR US?
Jimmaye, can you feel us?”
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 1:55 pm
“Lassie, run to the well and tell Jimmy we have Tupperwhores!”
michael said,
June 29, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Awesome Christy. Putting the sensual back in nonconsensual… That’s my new slogan.
julieluongo said,
June 29, 2007 at 3:03 pm
Be sure to mention it on your blog.
julieluongo said,
June 29, 2007 at 3:06 pm
There’s a spot for it in your banner. After Messiest Objects’ Messy Life ~ Putting the sensual back in nonconsensual. You can take the Jesus Hotrod quote down.
Christy said,
June 29, 2007 at 3:13 pm
I can’t take credit for that Michael – I don’t know who made that gem up. Someone recognized that it was fucking hilarious and posted it on my page.
Christy said,
June 29, 2007 at 3:14 pm
What’s wrong with the Ministry?
michael said,
June 29, 2007 at 3:25 pm
She’s just tired of me putting up pedophile jokes on her page rather than my own. But I feel that Julie’s audience can fully appreciate the inherent humor of child molestation more than mine can.
Jenn said,
June 29, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Sometimes, my husband likes to inform me that I can listen to Jimi, but I can’t HEAR Jimi. There’s a difference.
Christy said,
June 29, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Oops Michael – I just spilled some infant fucking on your page. I’m sure it’ll wipe up easily..
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 3:44 pm
If we can’t joke about child-ass-rape, the terrorists have won. Please. Think of the soldiers. NO. Think of Allen Ginsburg.
Christy said,
June 29, 2007 at 3:46 pm
I saw Jim in Thailand recently – http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d19/klopfensteinc/crummynmbla.jpg
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Thailand. Magical.
Gary said,
June 29, 2007 at 4:09 pm
“Sometimes, my husband likes to inform me that I can listen to Jimi, but I can’t HEAR Jimi. There’s a difference.”
You husband has watched White Men Can’t Jump too many times.
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 4:10 pm
Jenn: Your husband performs valuable life-saving services. Not only is he a doll scout, he is some kind of Hendrix savant. I wonder if he could combine the two somehow. Perhaps there is some kind of Jimi doll with glass eyes lurking in an antique store somewhere. It’d be like his Chariots of Fire moment.
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 4:11 pm
Sadly, the Doll Scouts had to disband after allegations of pedophilia. It’s good that he’s freelance.
Gary said,
June 29, 2007 at 4:23 pm
You can listen to this but can you HEAR it?
Pegster said,
June 29, 2007 at 4:26 pm
i like it – reminds me of college
Gary said,
June 29, 2007 at 4:28 pm
damn I’m even in the wrong damn thread… Jenn faked me out.
Pegster said,
June 29, 2007 at 4:41 pm
I still liked Gary
Pegster said,
June 29, 2007 at 4:41 pm
I still liked IT, Gary – It, Gary
julieluongo said,
June 29, 2007 at 4:45 pm
Bunch of listeners.
Jenn said,
June 29, 2007 at 4:47 pm
I don’t even know why he likes that movie, but I guess if you mention Jimi Hendrix in it, it’s all right by him.
His guilty secret is that he loves Two Weeks Notice (really any Sandra Bullock movie)
Sissy said,
June 29, 2007 at 4:58 pm
No, Peg. You said you liked Gary. You can’t take it back now. Forget it. It’s been said. The words are out there. I know your type. Always trying to back track on your true feelings. tsk. tsk. tsk.
Sissy said,
June 29, 2007 at 4:59 pm
And now I see that Julie and I look like twins.
Sissy said,
June 29, 2007 at 4:59 pm
And as much as I love my girl, my new avatar was not a deliberate wanna-be move.
julieluongo said,
June 29, 2007 at 5:05 pm
I don’t wear an eye patch…well, not often, at least.
Pegster said,
June 29, 2007 at 5:30 pm
TYPO!!!!
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 5:32 pm
I blame Mike.
Pegster said,
June 29, 2007 at 5:32 pm
still at friggin’ work!!!
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 5:41 pm
Peg, don’t go anymore. Work is stupid. Let’s all just take next week off and go to summer camp.
Pegster said,
June 29, 2007 at 5:44 pm
I say we all head to the shore with Sissy and Spank….
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 5:45 pm
Word. But who will mind the blog-store?
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 5:47 pm
I nominate Jim. We’ll all leave and he can hang out.
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Speaking of… it’s quittin’ time. May you have blissful week(ends) with minimal law enforcement involved.
michael said,
June 29, 2007 at 6:05 pm
A pedophile is walking through the woods late at night holding a little boys hand. The boy says, “Mister, I’m scared.” To this the pedophile responds, “You’re scared?? I have to walk back alone!”
Pegster said,
June 29, 2007 at 7:39 pm
ouch
julieluongo said,
June 29, 2007 at 11:43 pm
Psh. Pedophiles don’t kill children. Abortion doctors do.
michael said,
June 30, 2007 at 12:27 am
Right. Pedophiles only use children to their fullest potential.
Pegster said,
June 30, 2007 at 8:58 am
that makes me feel much better
julieluongo said,
June 30, 2007 at 9:19 am
Michael, I should probably cut your hilarious jokes and paste them onto your site. Open up the creative process up to your family and friends.
michael said,
June 30, 2007 at 10:52 am
Are you trying to tell me something?
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 10:52 am
Julie, that is a VERY GOOD IDEA.
michael said,
June 30, 2007 at 11:15 am
Whatever.
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 11:21 am
It’s not like you couldn’t just delete them. But my suggestion would be to get pedophilejokes.wordpress.com. It’s all the rage.
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 11:22 am
Get a little NAMBLA avatar.
michael said,
June 30, 2007 at 11:25 am
They’re just jokes. Really people, come on. I mean, if you can make abortion jokes, which are about murdering children, why can’t you make pedophile jokes, which are about loving them!?
michael said,
June 30, 2007 at 11:26 am
Ok ok I’ll stop now.
michael said,
June 30, 2007 at 11:26 am
That one made me a tad uncomfortable.
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 11:50 am
Welcome to our world from yesterday! Now get out there and get some living done!
Gary said,
June 30, 2007 at 1:27 pm
whateva!
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 5:12 pm
The next person who says “whatever” to me gets a foot in the ass.
julieluongo said,
June 30, 2007 at 5:40 pm
Whatever, dude.
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 5:45 pm
You are roont.
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 5:54 pm
I have freakish strength. And I’m bringing this guy.
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 5:55 pm
DANG!
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 5:56 pm
Last chance to look tough. DANG!
Gary said,
June 30, 2007 at 6:02 pm
I heart the Brookers one more.
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 6:16 pm
It’s on, Julie Luongo! You and your lackeys meet me and my gang behind the mall after school. I am like Chuck Norris on speed! I got a shiv right in my sock!
julieluongo said,
June 30, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Whatever.
michael said,
June 30, 2007 at 6:43 pm
I heart Brookers. I wish she was young enough for me.
Gary said,
June 30, 2007 at 6:50 pm
her gap is hot
michael is scaring me
michael said,
June 30, 2007 at 6:57 pm
Have you seen the German kid that goes apeshit because his video game doesn’t load fast enough? Now that kid is scary.
julieluongo said,
June 30, 2007 at 7:01 pm
I hate watching him ruin that keyboard. What if you birthed that? He reminds me of Helen Keller raging in A Miracle Worker.
Gary said,
June 30, 2007 at 7:06 pm
if that was my son he’d be dead and I’d be in prison.
Gary said,
June 30, 2007 at 7:07 pm
have you seen the angry german kid vs. numa?
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5757589301575990931
michael said,
June 30, 2007 at 7:40 pm
The keyboard is my favorite part! And then when he can’t find the escape key… comedy gold. I think that if he was my kid, I’d be a very different person than I am.
julieluongo said,
June 30, 2007 at 7:48 pm
You mean you’d like young boys less?
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 8:29 pm
OK. Is no one afraid of me? I’m like a hellcat, baby! Look out! Ffft, fffft!
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 8:35 pm
No?
Gary said,
June 30, 2007 at 8:40 pm
I’m afraid of you Heather. You’re a biter.
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 8:42 pm
Yessssssss.
michael said,
June 30, 2007 at 9:00 pm
Har har. I guess I deserve that. But if the theory that if you don’t laugh, then you’ll cry is true, and if we don’t laugh at pedophilia, then what can we laugh at?
No, I meant I’d be the kind of useless asshole of a parent that would allow a kid to live like that… of course, I’m nt yet a parent, so, who knows, right?
Gary said,
June 30, 2007 at 9:25 pm
Mike I hope you’d be smart enough to murder that child. Or at the very least have him committed.
Now that I have a son it’s harder to laugh at those kinds of jokes. Having kids sucks. It takes the fun out of every damn thing.
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 10:01 pm
Don’t listen to him! Kids just take the fun out of stuff that wasn’t actually that fun to begin with. Also, sleeping. You’ll never sleep again. As long as you live.
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 10:03 pm
Actually, they kind of put the fun back INTO sleeping because it’s you’ll do it so rarely, it turns into an adventure in indulgence. Mmmmm… SLEEP!
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 10:03 pm
Sorry about the bad typing. I’m really tired, see?
Gary said,
July 1, 2007 at 10:25 pm
tsk tsk tsk tsk
julieluongo said,
July 1, 2007 at 10:47 pm
Gary, what are you disapproving?
Gary said,
July 2, 2007 at 7:53 am
um… this blog’s anti-spam policy? I don’t remember…
Heather said,
July 2, 2007 at 9:10 am
From here, it looks like he’s protesting QBert.
Gary said,
July 2, 2007 at 9:36 am
here it is again
just wrong
Gary said,
July 2, 2007 at 9:37 am
I just posted two links but they didn’t show… oh well
this place is pretty dead without a spank around…
Heather said,
July 2, 2007 at 9:57 am
I feel a song coming on…
michael said,
July 2, 2007 at 11:33 am
I’m not going to say what I’m thinking, I’m not going to say what I’m thinking, I’m not going to say what I’m thinking, I’m not going to say what I’m thinking…
Christy said,
July 2, 2007 at 11:40 am
Could it be your mind is blank?
michael said,
July 2, 2007 at 12:02 pm
blank as a fart, darlin’.
Christy said,
July 2, 2007 at 12:04 pm
Some of yours have quite a bit of substance.
messiestobjects said,
July 2, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Well, this one was about Gary’s picture. And while he might be game enough to make a funny joke at my expense using a picture of his only begotten son, he may not appreciate my witty retort, so I’m showing restraint.
And you take that back. Substance my ass. All my smartest stuff I stole from DK.
messiestobjects said,
July 2, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Oh, you meant my farts.
messiestobjects said,
July 2, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Well that’s true. I take pride in those. They don’t call me Michael Michael Motorcycle Fart for nothin’.
Gary said,
July 2, 2007 at 12:13 pm
witty retorts are what it’s all about isn’t it?
Gary said,
July 2, 2007 at 12:21 pm
btw – my son only did the picture because he felt it could help other children.
messiestobjects said,
July 2, 2007 at 12:25 pm
Well, I was going to say, But Gary! We were only ever friends! Just really good friends!
Christy said,
July 2, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Michael – Big boy friends don’t touch pee pees.
Gary said,
July 2, 2007 at 12:51 pm
Owen told me about the shirtless man hugs.
Christy said,
July 2, 2007 at 1:05 pm
http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d19/klopfensteinc/mn.jpg
Gary said,
July 2, 2007 at 1:25 pm
so is that like the post ejection splash down? or what? post erection?
Christy said,
July 2, 2007 at 1:35 pm
That was Michael taking advantage of a plentiful natural resource in Thailand.. (Captain Willy doesn’t work unless he’s got the helmet on.)
messiestobjects said,
July 2, 2007 at 1:47 pm
I’d rejoin, but Christy is the Jedi master of insults. She’s worked so hard at hiding her own “love” of furry animals from the world that rather than risk exposure she’s spent all of her time going on the offensive.
I know what you do with Die Hard and Lethal Weapon at night, and the real reason you wanted the vibrating kitties.
Christy said,
July 2, 2007 at 1:54 pm
No one will ever believe if they tell – they’re retarded. You need to start thinking ahead too.
messiestobjects said,
July 2, 2007 at 2:24 pm
So you’re saying I should be going after orphans and mutes? Oohhhhh. Now I get it. Retarded. Damn that’s hot.
Christy said,
July 2, 2007 at 2:43 pm
Do I fucking have to spell everything out for you? Orphans and mutes can generally communicate or are credible in some way. You either have to go for total box jobs – no information in – no communiqués out OR retards. Nobody believes a retard. They say weird shit all the time – people will probably assume they are verbalizing some fucked fantasy they have and lock ‘em up if they start jabbering about it all.
Heather said,
July 2, 2007 at 2:56 pm
Molesting retards is so last year. And by that I mean: last year, I was molesting retards.
messiestobjects said,
July 2, 2007 at 6:00 pm
I said Oohhhhh. Now I get it. Retarded. I got it, it just took me a second. See, that’s why I’d be so good at raping retards, because I can speak to them on their level.
The Raping Retards. That’s my new favorite band name.
Gary said,
July 2, 2007 at 7:22 pm
I feel like Julie’s has become a sort of non-anonymous confessional. I’m learning things I don’t want to know, but I guess it’s important that I know.
messiestobjects said,
July 2, 2007 at 8:59 pm
Right… it’s probably getting out of hand.
Hang on a sec… I think the police are here to confiscate my hard drive…
Faye said,
June 13, 2008 at 7:52 pm
This is the most hilarious cover ever. Why do people get offended by something this tame? There isn’t even any actual nudity, and it’s not like you have to buy one, or even shop around to see one. It’s like those tacky shirts with washboard abs that come in xxl for fat guys. Tacky, but hilarious.
julieluongo said,
June 15, 2008 at 10:04 pm
I don’t think anyone was offended by it here. They were all just joking.