“A funny thing to do is, if you’re out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you’re going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who’s going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That’s why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.” ~Jack Handy
This snake, auctioned at Christie’s in 1999, sold for $68,500. It’s from the Roman Empire in the 1st Century A.D., which was also the century that came up with bookbinding. So, a pretty good century as far as I’m concerned. Although, a century is a kind of a long time when you’re trying to narrow down top inventions and breakthroughs. I mean, we’re only 6 years into the 21st century and we’ve already got cloning, the human geonome project, and space tourism. Hey, maybe when Halley’s Comet comes around again (July 2061) we’ll be able to take a trip to space to see it while our clones take over our blogs.
Sissy said,
June 24, 2007 at 11:27 pm
I don’t think I’ve ever been the first to comment on a post on Julie’s blog. Was Halley’s here in 1997? I saw it. I also witnessed a meteor shower the summer of 1992 from my mother’s tennis court that sits high on a hill.
I could use a few clones around my house. Of me, of course. Three for my kids. One for my husband. One for cooking. Another for cleaning. Then I’d need two more; one for each job. And an extra one for those unexpected trips to the ER. Oh, and one more to hang out with my friends for me since I’ll be busy reading all those books on my shelf and watching all those movies I never get to see. And, like Julie said, one to manage my blogging.
Heather said,
June 24, 2007 at 11:51 pm
I’d never trust a bitch clone with my blog. Please. I’d be like, “I see what you’re doing there, Cloney McGee.” And the clone would be all, “Whaaa?” Shoot. Clones betta reckanize.
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:03 am
Since the whole-genome association studies are going to reveal keys to longevity, I suppose the cloning thing just doesn’t make any sense anyway. We’ll live longer and have tons of time to do whatever we want. Well, we’ll probably just end up working. Bah. Over-population is already a problem without adding clones to the mix. Plus,I’m worried about the water supply. We need it to support the digital revolution I love so much.
Sissy said,
June 25, 2007 at 8:01 am
Last night, at midnight, a show came on about our time spent on earth and how it’s programmed into what type of mammal we are and such. It had all these great points regarding mortality and longevity, and I thought how cool since Julie just posted something about cloning and such. But I kept falling asleep and did not absorb any of it.
However, last night I suffered my second WEIRD DREAM in a row. The spirits are tugging at me for one reason or another. I’ve been dreaming about loved ones who have passed. In the dreams, which feel SOOOOO REAL, I am given the chance to say things that I meant to say before they died, but never got to.
Last night, my cousin Nicole visited me. I told her I was sorry that she had died. In her final days, every time we spoke, I remember just wanting to say how sorry I was. But dying people don’t want our pity. She kept our converstations upbeat. She was only 23 when she passed. In my dream, after I told her I was sorry that she was dead, she stopped what she was doing (painting one of my dad’s old sheds because we used to do that sort of thing when we were kids) and said, “I’m dead?” And then I started crying and painting with her.
I don’t know that I want to live forever, or that I even really want to be cloned. But I would like to know what it’s like to be old. I want to be wrinkled and gray and losing my sense of sight and hearing. I want to get to a point in my life to say I did everything I wanted to do and then I want to sit somewhere and ponder the basket of goods.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 8:07 am
Ive been in the congo for many many days, or nights should i say
Sissy said,
June 25, 2007 at 8:18 am
Are you reading that again? Is that why you called yesterday to tell me that you were packing up the kids and moving to Africa?
She did. She called to say she was leaving for Africa with her kids and a suitcase. I knew she was reading that Poisonous book again!! Blast that Congo! It makes us think we can avoid green snakes and endure rain that never ends. Or perhaps it is the notion that the fight against mortality in the Congo will wash away the world that revolves around us here. It just may be the lesser of two evils.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 8:22 am
I am not. reading it again. but i dream of it often. the attration to hell cannot be denied.
right now i am listening to passage to india. so far i am not impressed.
Sissy said,
June 25, 2007 at 8:39 am
I read a lot of E.M. Forster right after I graduated from college. I liked the way he trasported me. I never read Passage, but I started watching the movie and never finished it. It’s on my Netflix list. I hear that Emmet is good, too. Forster can be dry, but again, it’s the trasport that intrigued me.
Julie, I hope you don’t mind that my posts navigate over here. I am convinced that it is the green. It’s warm and welcoming in here. I feel like I’m in a cave when I’m at my place. Perhaps it is time for a change in presentation. I’ll give it a whirl.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 8:54 am
if you would ever visit your place youd see i just posted a super long comment.
so far there is no tawdry india/english sex in the book.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 9:03 am
I think I should be cloned, because I’m great. More of me would be a good thing.
I’d definitely like to live a long long time but that’s not what will happen. I figure 80 years tops. I’d prefer 200 or more, but only if the quality of life is still good. I just want to see what happens. I want to see if humans fuck everything up or if we do better.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 9:06 am
i think our histroy alone lends to the idea that we will “fuck things up”
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 9:11 am
Not my clone. I’d dress up my clone like that Jetsons robot maid, tell it nice stories, take it for moonlit walks on the beach, make sweet clone lov- wait? What? Where am I?
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 9:15 am
Yeah but I want to see it – if I die in 40 years I’ll miss a lot of cool stuff I’m sure.
I want to live until the year 10,000 or so. That’s when Dune takes place.
Sissy said,
June 25, 2007 at 9:34 am
That’s because when you die, Gary, you’re going to hell because god hates you and the view from hell sucks.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 9:39 am
Yeah I know.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 9:39 am
Will you be the big worm in dune? because isnt there some bad ass worm thing? yeah i can see it, gary the worm
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 9:41 am
I bet he cant watch Ishtar in hell, and thats something. its ok Gary, i will be in hell as well…ill sublet one of my inferno bungalos to you
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 9:44 am
Didn’t we already agree that hell was being stuck in an elevator listening to Yanni? Because look: I’m not going there. No one’s going to hell on my watch! Purgatory, maybe. But hell? NOT HAPPENING!
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 9:47 am
I could become a worm/human hybrid – but not one of the giant sand worms.
Sissy said,
June 25, 2007 at 9:47 am
Yes and you cannot see Dune from the inside of an elevator.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 9:52 am
Maybe I’d learn to love Yanni.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 9:56 am
I think I’d like to be in Limbo myself. Seems like low pressure, like maybe you’d have time to window-shop, get a Frogurt.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 9:58 am
Americans set record for charity in 2006 – Yahoo! News
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 9:59 am
yeah an infinite number of dead baby souls – sounds like a fun time.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:02 am
We give and we give and we give. You know at some point you really have to cut these charities off. You gotta say “enough! not one cent more. You’re 51 years old and that’s too old to have your parents paying your rent!”
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:02 am
As long as they’re in jars, what’s the problem?
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:03 am
Wait a minute. I was thinking about my sister there.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:03 am
Hee hee.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:20 am
ummmm am i the only one who thinks sissy’s new avatar looks corpse-ish?
and heather….it isnt yanni. it is the musical stylings of John Tesh. thats who is in my hell.
Sissy said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:27 am
Wait, where’s my new avatar?
Sissy said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:27 am
Oh, there it is.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:34 am
I don’t see a new avatar. I see Debra Winger.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:38 am
Sissy said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:46 am
Shhh. Or everyone will know.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:47 am
I already know who’s in my hell. And it’s no celebrity.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:48 am
It’s John Tesh.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:54 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YE6R_R47nO0
this is what is in my hell…
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:56 am
Not the barber shop thing – David Hasselhoff. I have to hang out with him FOREVER.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 11:04 am
can you just tell me whats on the links you post since i cant see? maybe that my hell a whole bunch of links that i cant effing see
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 11:06 am
Ha ha ha ha.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 11:17 am
the first one is George Carlin ranting about environmentalists and the second is a clip from America’s Got Talent, of a barber shop group and David Hasselhoff.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 11:25 am
Thanks…and now, hold on to your pantaloons, because I have a RITA update….
some of you may not remember the origional rita saga…leme loo it up for you and then i shall add to it.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 11:28 am
http://julieluongo.wordpress.com/2007/04/
Sissy said,
June 25, 2007 at 11:30 am
Are you adding here or there?
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 11:38 am
damn it ididnt work…ok so i cant do this facy linkage, but the post is called based ona true story based on a true story, in the april posts…
So, here is how the story goes……
My boss Sean comes up to my Buddy Makeeta and says, “hey i have a bunch of old cases of Rita’s, can you do them?”
Makeeta then says the logical thing “where the fuck is rita and why are her cases so old?”
Sean “uh she is in the hospital”
makeeta “fine. how many are there”
Sean ” i dont know, maybe like 4″
Makeeta “whatever”
at this point i see the makings of a most excellent morning story…..i then start flailing arounf till my buddie kellee, who coached ritas kid in cheerleading, sees my frantic hand gesturing and comes over speddy wuick to my desk.
I then ask “what happened to rita?
and kelle, with a smile that says she knows all the dirt, revels for a moment because she has me by the gossip nuts and she knows it.
I allow her this moment, and then she starts…
it seems that a few months ago Rita and her husband thought it a good idea to get their 4 year old a motor cycle. Well apparently he cannot seem to ride it. (maybe because he is 4) anyway, so she was walking beside him the same way a parent might walk beside a child learning to ride a bycycle, when all the sudden that fuckin kid started the bike and hit the gas and whadda ya know…that little kid dirt bike drug rita across her yard and on to the road.
did this incident cause the hospital visit? nooooooooooooooo
she apparently gets a massive cut on her leg that never heals (at this point in the story i shoult staff infection because i feel this would be the case) kelle shakes her head no.
rita begins having trouble breathing, and while she tells kelle she is kinda diabetic, while slurping down her 32 moutian dew, she says this non healing cut has nothing to do with her fake diabetis.
as it turns out, the non healing cut did cause BLOOD CLOTS to form in her lungs and almost kill her.
end of story. i will keep you abreast of any other changes.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 11:38 am
This is the Rita post. It starts around #162.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 11:46 am
so anyway – how’s the weather by you? It’s looking really overcast here. Probably get a storm.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 11:48 am
yeah anyway, the weather here is great…a few lingering gary fuckerface clouds, but preety great otherwise
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 11:58 am
hehehehe
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 12:02 pm
fuckerface clouds… are those like cumulonimbus clouds or cirrus?
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 12:05 pm
Rita! She has fake diabetes? Diabetes Simplex III. You get it from kissing Big Gulps of Mt. Dew.
Now, the part about getting dragged is tripping me up. Do you think she held on because she was worried about her 4 year old? Because she is a fierce mom, misguided as she is. But maybe she held on because she didn’t think to let go… It’s possible with Rita.
Oh, and I like a capella groups. I’ve seen way better ones than that America’s got talent clip.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 12:06 pm
Julie LOOOOOOOOVES a capella singers.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 12:19 pm
Not everyone does, though.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 12:24 pm
I’m glad to know Rita’s alive and doing… uh. I’m glad to know Rita’s alive.
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 12:31 pm
My sister was in an all-female a capella group. And those girls were the coolest women on the planet. Arranging music and singing and swishing their long pretty hair around the house having pillow fights in their underwear… It’s not just me, everyone had crushed on them.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 12:32 pm
fuckerface clouds… are those like cumulonimbus clouds or cirrus?
id have to contact the bob ross institude of cloud decriptives on that…but on a guess id say cumulonimbus
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 12:40 pm
ive never had a pillow fight in my underware. oh well.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 12:41 pm
“Ode to Douchebaggery” is my favorite song to sing without accompaniment. It goes like this:
Douchebags… light the corners of my mind
Misty, autumn-colored dooooooochebags
And they way they werrrrrrre…
Douchebags… can be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remeeeeeeeeeember
Something, something, something, else…
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Ive never had a douche either.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 12:52 pm
swishing their long pretty hair around the house having pillow fights in their underwear…
thanks Julie
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:03 pm
No problemo, Gary. You would have loved those women. So pretty and smart and talented. They were just breathtaking in every way.
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:08 pm
Oh, and just curious, the resurgence of douche and douchebag as an insult… Why return to that? I didn’t get it when it was popular the first time. Douche? Really? And why not upgrade. Go with enema bag? Colonic tube? Nose degunker? Toenail clipper? Lipo hose? Callous shaver?
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:09 pm
I just like the sound of it. My other favorite word is poot – for much the same reason.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Oh and I’m from New Jersey.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:11 pm
julie you seem upset. did you have a bad doushe experience? you seem angry at the doushe, and that is totally understandable.
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:12 pm
Is that a confession, Jersey Boy?
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:15 pm
I prefer poon, the word not the sexual uh ya know. oh forget it
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:16 pm
Poon Poon, big as a moon
rita your poon makes me sway like a loon
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:16 pm
It’s just the sound. It’s got the “shhh” in it. Come on, say it with me: DOOOOOOOOOCHE.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:16 pm
huh? confession of what?
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:17 pm
EVERYONE! IT WILL BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY! “DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCHE!”
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:17 pm
I am angry about the douche. It gets too much attention. What about the other personal hygiene products? How about the bidet? That’s a good one. It just irritates me to read blogs written by otherwise creative people and they’re busting out the douche curse like they invented it. It’s over people. Douche is new hizzle for shizzle.
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Gary, I just wondered why you were telling us you’re from NJ.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Don’t be angered by the douche. This is what the douche wants.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:18 pm
ok Julie I won’t douche-blog anymore if you promise not to “heart” anything again? deal?
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:18 pm
I’ll quit saying it now. But that was fun.
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:20 pm
Haha. No way. I’m going to heart things until tomorrow.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:20 pm
because d—– b– as an insult just seems like a jersey thing to me. maybe it’s not but it’s just got that jersey flavor, in my opinion.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:20 pm
“Douche” came to mind after “a capella” because I remembered a tale of a boy who fit both of those descriptions. And I laughed.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:21 pm
Whoops. I meant “D—-”.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:21 pm
It’s the new “N” word.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:21 pm
oh ok I see how it is…
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Did Gary just say “Douche has got that Jersey flavor”?
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:22 pm
That is awesome.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:23 pm
I did invent a variation the DOOOOOOODCHE. That’s a good one. I heart that one.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:23 pm
I’ve always been partial to that one, as well.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:24 pm
DOOOOóche.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:24 pm
yeah it’s like water, vinegar and New Jersey Turnpike.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:25 pm
For my Spanish friends.
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:25 pm
You know what? I love to rant, and I do want to convince people to my point of view…but when people agree to comply, I’m a little sad. If no one is razzing me about my overblown opinion, then…just, where is the love? I have psychological baggage from being the youngest.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:25 pm
and some overpowering cologne
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Drakkar Noir.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Ok here is the thing….
first off…dousche bag is passe’ because according to the massingile commercial…the lady looking all fresh frolocking on the beach, does not have a doushe bag in her hand, but a covert DOUSHE BOTTLE in her purse…for quick and convient freshening up between frollicks….
and if you look further down the beach you can see a lovely couple on valtrex…just loving up their genital herpes.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Maybe this douchey conversation is punishment enough. I can start praying for your soul if you want. I hear that’s pretty annoying.
“O! Lord of the Douche,
Look upon us tenderly,
And recall not our iniquities,
But rather, the eve of our summers,
In thy mercy.”
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:29 pm
I didn’t agree. I made you and offer which you refused. I thought maybe you had a point and I should lay off the douche for a while, but I really do heart it.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:29 pm
I heart douche bottles with valtrex in them
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:31 pm
I was trying to think of that name Julie – girl you must be praketing richcraft.
Christy said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:31 pm
I don’t know Julie – insults that rely on evoking images of dirty genitalia are generally effective. I don’t want to be associated with cleansing a not-so-fresh vaginal canal – do you?
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:32 pm
I dont think anyone should waste valuble time praying for my soul. i just think its ok, and there are other less fortunate souls that could use a nice cup of soup
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:33 pm
Drakkar Noir! Oh. My. God.
Junior high just sideswiped me with a vengeance.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:33 pm
dirty vagina dirty vagina
VAGINA SLUDGE!!!
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:33 pm
Ah, all better.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:33 pm
http://www.jordansplace.net/homepage/shutup.jpg
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:34 pm
If I get a whiff of Polo cologne I get randy instantly.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Rawr. Take it to the bridge, 80s!
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:37 pm
Now, if one could somehow combine the Drakkar Noir with a Members Only jacket…
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:38 pm
And as for the validity of douche as an effective curse…it’s so overused, I don;’t think people think of it as what it is. It’s like asshole. You don’t really go to that place when you hear the curse. Nosehair or toe-cheese are actually more effective insults if you ask me.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:38 pm
jovan musk oil is what I like my sluts to wear
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Love’s Baby Soft.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:40 pm
I like to carry my Jovan Musk oil in this lovely lavender Jordache purse. IT’S GOT A HORSE ON IT.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:41 pm
Poor Julie’s lost her mind. It’s sad.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:41 pm
That’s how you know it’s fashionable. From the horse.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:42 pm
any of you guys know what a Jap sack is? since we’re getting all nostalgic? I can’t remember the brand.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:42 pm
In fact, I carry all my Bonne Bell make-ups AND perfumeries right in this horse purse. Then? When I go stealing stuff, I also put that stuff in the purse.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:43 pm
the loves babay soft aslo doubles as a young girls first sex toy..exsuce me while i go fuck mysef anf then freshen up with loves baby soft
Sissy said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:43 pm
I didn’t know they still made douche. That lovely commercial with the mother and daughter in the car….I don’t see it anymore and I thought St. Eve was on sabatical.
I just rub my beave down with Lady Speed Stick. It’s a two-fer with the deoderant AND the antiperspirant. Win-win.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:44 pm
ok I remembered: LeSportsac
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Love’s Babay Soft. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:45 pm
FDS – tasty!
Christy said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:45 pm
I always vividly imagine exactly what the insult actually is whether I’m on the giving or receiving end. It makes it more fun.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:45 pm
lady speed stick on my beave spells a terrible yeast infection. i just carry a pocket blow dryer…and blow the beave dry and then spray a light misting of “oust” in me pants.
Sissy said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:46 pm
Febreeze.
Christy said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:47 pm
Sissy – I’m with you. I like to rub my twat down with anti-perspirant too. I’m a Teen Spirit roll on kinda gal (I like to squeeze the roll on bottle so the white stuff drips out then I can get it all up inside my pussy – on top of the generous slathering that the outside deserves.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:50 pm
christy…..omg…all up inside your pussy….im dying…i think i weed myself laughing here, i can almost picture you all crouched down with like an inch of goo…ready to apply
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:51 pm
ok that was really hot
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:51 pm
I’m crying from laughing so hard.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Teen Spirit. Hoo hoo hoo.
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Note to self: Don’t borrow Christy’s deodorant.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:56 pm
I had much the same thought. Also, that St. Eve has got to be busy wherever she is. It’s hard to be the patron saint of vaginas. It’s hard work. She’s working hard.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:56 pm
Yeah just hers. Other people’s deodorant? No problem. I heart other people’s deodorant.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:57 pm
yeah vagina’s seen a lot of hard road….
Christy said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:57 pm
Julie – It’s OK – I use regular stick for my underarms – they’re both on those glass shelves above my toliet – easily distinguishable from the other. Roll on=pussy, stick=underarm (Note: That hippy Tom’s bullshit has been there for years because it sucks ass – you can use that – but it’ll be like you didn’t use any.)
kc said,
June 25, 2007 at 1:58 pm
oh shit. i used your deordorant when i was there last.
does this mean we’ve had sex.
please say yes.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:01 pm
Awwww kc and christy did it…wait…KC unless you rubbed her roll on all up in yer twat, id say that only your armpit had sex. if you put the roll on in your mouth…well then we have a situation…
kc said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:02 pm
actually, i put it in my butt.
Christy said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:06 pm
Probably only in the way that you’ve had sex with everyone your partner has ever had sex with.
Really, does the rectal thermometer at the doctors office mean that all the babies that have ever had that used on them have thermometer fucked each others butts?
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Yes. Yes it does.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:12 pm
Kc….roll on deoderant in your hine hole….BRILLIANT!!!
Matt Lesoine said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:13 pm
That was quite the vivid description; generous slathering, inch of goo. What’s next? The crustification of said goo?
Just remember, if you treat your business right, your business will treat you right…
kc said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:13 pm
damn it, christy. why do you ruin everything for me?!
Christy said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:16 pm
I thought you could latch on to the doctors office/baby fantasy.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:18 pm
I imagine with all that goo “down there” you would have a soupish crotch situation. always inviting. so is getting poked in the hinehole with a thermometer.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:23 pm
frothing at the crotch is very attractive
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Tom’s of Maine gives you BO. I think everyone has some of the sucky stuff sitting around. And that’s why other people buy it. They think, oh, I was peeking in my friend’s cabinet and she bought this, and it’s in a pretty package. I’ll try it. Little do they know that they’re perpetuating the Tom’s cycle.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:31 pm
And, caveat emptor, their toothpaste makes your teeth fall out. In fact, Tom’s of Maine has the same kind of quality ethic that I do. I might need to get a job there.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:32 pm
I’m going to develop the roll-on that makes your vagina sweat.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:35 pm
seriously…their toothpast actually made my teeth HURT.
“toms wet pussy roll on” gonna make ya sweat!!
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Who is this Tom? What’s his problem?
Christy said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:39 pm
A nice bubbling simmer downtown is good – rabies twat – not so good.
http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d19/klopfensteinc/vdentata1.jpg
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Obama Girl:
kc said,
June 25, 2007 at 3:00 pm
so if a snatch is foaming its not good???
shit.
spanky said,
June 25, 2007 at 3:12 pm
a little “foamy snatch” over pasta is always good in my book!
Christy said,
June 25, 2007 at 3:25 pm
I made dinner for you Spanky.
kc said,
June 25, 2007 at 3:26 pm
what about me, BITCH!
kc said,
June 25, 2007 at 3:27 pm
thats the last time i have armpit to butt sex with you. whore.
Christy said,
June 25, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Fucking hell KC – you’re so emotional. Didn’t you know – in addition to my vagina being a time machine it also makes excellent cuisine? I can shit dinner out my vag so fast you’d swear I made it from frozen. Trust me – it’s fresh.
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 3:46 pm
It’s not delivery! It’s de-gina!
kc said,
June 25, 2007 at 3:56 pm
of course i know that. duh.
Pegster said,
June 25, 2007 at 4:21 pm
what were we talking about again????
kc said,
June 25, 2007 at 4:25 pm
christy’s vagina.
Jim said,
June 25, 2007 at 4:59 pm
I think everybody’s seen a lady’s roll on with a bit of a red tint in the nooks and crannies…
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 5:57 pm
Worlds Colliding Alert: I have shared the thrill of Team Luongo with a co-worker. So don’t think that’s me hitting this page 5,000 times, Hoolia. I am responsible for my regular 2,500 hits and the rest is someone else. I’m clean!
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 6:02 pm
She asked me what was the deal with the resurgence of the word “douche” and I said, “Funny you should ask. Come read this conversation.” She messaged me after a while and said, “Can you hear me laughing from all the way down here?” (Her office is several away from mine.)
She said she finally understood why I’m laughing at my computer every time she walks by. I feel like a drug pusher right now. “First read’s free.”
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 6:06 pm
Since the subject is on the table, could everyone either share this site with a friend who likes blogs or hit the site like 100x more than usual for a day or two? I’m trying to show that I’m popular and worth attention so I can get into a writer’s colony. All extraneous hits are appreciated. Thanks for your support.
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 6:07 pm
They don’t call it “refreshing” for nothing.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 7:14 pm
I don’t think I can physically refresh any more than I actually do already. But I’ll send a couple more this way as long as they’re not in a position to either give me a job or elect me into office. I’d rather not have “foamy snatch” on my resume. But whatever.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 7:17 pm
I guess, technically, it wouldn’t be on mine anyway. I’m just foamy by association. And isn’t that the best any of us can hope for in the end?
Gary said,
June 25, 2007 at 7:41 pm
Julie I just killed your career.
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 7:43 pm
Why?
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 7:44 pm
Oh, nice! Thanks, Gary.
Help Out My Friend, Will Ya? « Sissy Things said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:27 pm
[...] Out My Friend, Will Ya? Julie is doing something that is making her want people to hit her blog. I don’t know what the [...]
Sissy said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:33 pm
So, I didn’t realize that GARY put up his own little Julie billboard until after I put mine up. And now that I’ve read his, I realize, and will someday accept, that I am a bumbling……something or other. No need for pity. I have a direct line from within.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:41 pm
I’m not posting a link, dadgum it. I posted enough links to hyuh. I ain’t no lemming, mind-controlled bot! I will write a post that tells people NOT to come here. Then watch what happens.
Heather said,
June 25, 2007 at 10:49 pm
Is there anything else, master? Does her highness need a frickin’ foot rub? Well, TOO BAD!
julieluongo said,
June 25, 2007 at 11:19 pm
Aw. Thanks. Dang, y’all. (That’s Britney for thanks.)
Sissy said,
June 26, 2007 at 12:17 am
Are you kidding me? I hate feet, and I’d rub yours about now for all the bullshit you put up with me! LOL.
….well, actually, I really do hate feet and now that I think about it maybe I could just condition and braid your hair. I’m also good at applying spray-on tanners.
julieluongo said,
June 26, 2007 at 12:57 am
I have adorable feet. I keep telling everyone this. My sister, after all of these years, finally recognized. It was a high point. We were getting pedicures and she looked over and said, “your feet … are really cute.” Finally!
But, if you have a prejudice, then I understand. It’s not about my feet. Either way, the rest sounds heavenly. Well, the spray on tanners always smell gross. But the hair stuff, I’m in!
Sissy said,
June 26, 2007 at 1:52 am
LOL!!! You slay me!
spanky said,
June 26, 2007 at 7:05 am
It’s not delivery! It’s de-gina!
that made me laugh out loud.
spanky said,
June 26, 2007 at 7:16 am
thanks for the beaver pasta Christy. it was delishious
Gary said,
June 26, 2007 at 8:03 am
I only made my post about Julie to make Sissy feel bad. I’m crafty like that.
Gary said,
June 26, 2007 at 8:09 am
I like that the pingback from sissy’s says:
“Out My Friend, Will Ya? Julie is doing something…”
Like Julie is gay and needs to be outed
spanky said,
June 26, 2007 at 8:20 am
Oh i thought she was….i just sent her a “yay to be gay” package!
Sissy said,
June 26, 2007 at 8:33 am
Gary’s all suit and tie while I’m announcing Julie’s new-found sexuallity. Nice.
Was that a marinara sauce? Or a clam base?
spanky said,
June 26, 2007 at 8:50 am
clam, natch.
Gary said,
June 26, 2007 at 8:54 am
if people stop saying ‘natch’ I’ll ditch the douche.
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 8:56 am
Yeah, right. A Gary without a douche is like a day without sunshine.
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 8:57 am
Watch this: clam natch heart douche.
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 8:59 am
I meant, “clamnatchheartdouche.” And in the interest of outing Julie as I have been commanded by the blog over-lords, Julie is so frickin’ gay.
spanky said,
June 26, 2007 at 9:12 am
natch. hahahahahahhhoooooheeehhaaaa
its only because i cant spell natureewally
Gary said,
June 26, 2007 at 9:17 am
hey I’m willing, if it means that shit will stop.
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 9:21 am
Isn’t it bad enough you segregated us into different threads? Now you’re trying to curtail our freedom of NATCHY SPEECH?
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 9:21 am
FIGHT THE POWER! CLAMNATCHHEARTDOUCHE!
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 9:23 am
You will pry this natch from my cold, dead hands. (Now read that out loud really fast.)
spanky said,
June 26, 2007 at 9:23 am
“natchy speech” hahahahahahah
dood. gary. I feel a huffy breath. and im just saying…you need to brush that huffy breath with a ray of natchy shine!!
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 9:24 am
Gary may take our natches, but he will never take OUR FREEDOM!
Gary said,
June 26, 2007 at 9:27 am
Mel Gibson is a douche.
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 9:30 am
True. But Braveheart wasn’t. He was brave. And he had heart.
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 9:31 am
And a bitchin’ blue face.
spanky said,
June 26, 2007 at 9:35 am
lol
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 10:02 am
I called Julie my “friend” on my link. I should have specified that she is not made of meat in my world. I’m too lazy to change it, though. People will just have to think I’ve got friends. Sorry about that, J.
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 10:04 am
Now everyone please enjoy the song stuck in my head.
spanky said,
June 26, 2007 at 10:09 am
i have no friends. and it is best that way
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 10:13 am
Yeah. The thing with friends is that they want you to help them move and shit.
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 10:14 am
And then you’re forced to tell them the awful truth: “I was just using your Wii, yo. Sorry about all that.”
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 10:23 am
Or they’re demanding foot-rubs. It’s not right.
Christy said,
June 26, 2007 at 10:24 am
My friends decline to be assisted often – I wonder if they’re trying to tell me something.
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 10:27 am
For Spank. And because I’m her friend, I’ll tell her what it is since she can’t see it: it’s a video of James Taylor and Carole King doing “You’ve Got a Friend.” And now our Hallmark moment has concluded.
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 10:30 am
(Please note I’m not rubbing your stankin’ feet. Ever.)
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 10:34 am
Christy, consider yourself lucky. You could be moving couches as we speak.
spanky said,
June 26, 2007 at 10:48 am
let me just make this clear….i dont like feet, i dont wanna look at em, have them touch me, or have anyone touch mine. feet= yucky. and my kids are always smarming me with their feet. effing kids.
now, vagina and cocks are fine by me, slather em all over me all you want…i love a good cock back rub mmm mmm good.
spanky said,
June 26, 2007 at 10:49 am
Oh and vagina facials are the best…you gotts hold yer breath for a while so they foam up good…the lather is invigorating!!
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 11:11 am
“i love a good cock back rub”
And this is why you are my friend. Because of the wrongness.
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 11:17 am
Let me rephrase. I meant to say, “This is why you would be my friend were I capable of forming ‘meaningful interpersonal relationships.’”
spanky said,
June 26, 2007 at 11:19 am
I can whip on my strap on and give ya backrub if thats what your are getting at.
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 11:20 am
Ah, it’s cool. I have a priest, thanks.
Gary said,
June 26, 2007 at 11:22 am
“He was brave. And he had heart.”
Yes – but he definitely didn’t “heart” anything or say natch. Doodche.
spanky said,
June 26, 2007 at 11:22 am
oh, right right…..maybe christy or kc
Gary said,
June 26, 2007 at 11:23 am
wow spank’s a superfreak
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 11:24 am
“A friend in need is a friend with a strap-on indeed.” I read that in a book.
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 11:27 am
Christy already has a didgeridoo.
spanky said,
June 26, 2007 at 11:31 am
oh shoot. that spaghetti beaver pic really made me hot
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 11:45 am
What we need is a giant Jap sack full of didgeridoos and roll-on perfumes.
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 11:47 am
Jap sacks make the finest beach totes.
Gary said,
June 26, 2007 at 11:57 am
http://www.godrex.com/img/yummy.jpg
Gary said,
June 26, 2007 at 12:55 pm
new favorite site: http://www.anus.com/
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 1:17 pm
It’s Torture Awareness Day. So sign sumpin’ or whatever.
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 1:18 pm
I don’t think it applies to torturing cats with didgeridoos, but I could be wrong. I usually am.
Heather said,
June 26, 2007 at 8:13 pm
Wax on, wax Hoff, my tiny bundles of love.
Heather said,
June 27, 2007 at 12:07 am
I found this lying around: “>Janet Weiss and Eddie Vedder singing Bernadette Peters and Steve Martin at the last S-K show. Aw. Sorry to be all random. But it’s the best ever.
Heather said,
June 27, 2007 at 12:08 am
HEY! This is what it were. Linkarrific!
spanky said,
June 27, 2007 at 10:46 am
i feel like i need to be in a thread. i got off topic, as usual.
Heather said,
June 27, 2007 at 11:08 am
Look, Hot Pockets are full of devil spirit, especially the “Sausage and Cheese”. You can’t be held responsible.
spanky said,
June 27, 2007 at 11:14 am
I know , I know.
Im still laughing about the sheets with holes. bahahahah
Heather said,
June 27, 2007 at 11:18 am
“Dirty, filthy whore pockets… you like it in the sheet… Who’s your daddy?”
Heather said,
June 27, 2007 at 11:19 am
“You are, Mordecai!”
spanky said,
June 27, 2007 at 11:28 am
ha ha
julieluongo said,
June 27, 2007 at 11:51 am
Sometimes my eyes zone out when I look at the computer screen and it looks like it says “Pasta Comment” above the text box.
Heather said,
June 27, 2007 at 12:09 pm
That’s because you’re thinking about Gary’s beaver spaghetti. He’s all in your subliminals!
julieluongo said,
June 27, 2007 at 12:30 pm
I wouldn’t mind having Christy’s girl bits cook for me. Just for a couple days. I want to work and work and work and when I’m hungry, I want a plate of delicious food to appear.
Heather said,
June 27, 2007 at 12:37 pm
Good writerly fantasy you’ve got going there. Because much like the Hair Club for Men president who is also a client, her bits are not only a chef, they are a time machine. Which means they’d know you were hungry before you did. Is there anything those bits cannot do?
spanky said,
June 27, 2007 at 1:01 pm
julie did ya get my email??
julieluongo said,
June 27, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Spanks, I emailed you back to give mad love for the Kong. (Oh, and to thank you for the flips link.) I need more of the King. More! You didn’t get my return email? If not, that means a full view of King Kong is not forthcoming. I’ve been checking my inbox all day for nothing!
Matt Lesoine said,
June 27, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Here’s a little bit of pocono mountain culture for everybody….
http://www.poconorecord.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070627/NEWS/706270339
You may need to copy/paste.
spanky said,
June 27, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Uh. no. I did not get a return mail. did you send to me at work or me at the yahoo account? I can send you all kinds of my artwork…all crafted here at work….hold tight…i send some of my fav’s, inspired by the movie snakes on a plane.
Heather said,
June 27, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Yay for the Cherry Valley Road!
Gary said,
June 27, 2007 at 1:41 pm
god I hate cheesy fat golfer hat wearing dick bags.
spanky said,
June 27, 2007 at 1:43 pm
but gary, i gotta know…how do you really feel?
Heather said,
June 27, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Wait a minute. That guy told me the record button was “NOT” on. Curses.
julieluongo said,
June 27, 2007 at 3:19 pm
“We’re looking at our ordinance to determine if there is anything we can possibly cite (Cherry Valley Golf Course) for,” said Cramer. “This puts a stigma on any legitimate golf outing that is a fundraiser. For Percudani to do this is absolutely stupid.”
What’s absolutely stupid is to look through your rule book to try to find a way to cite the golf course. Is there a regulation about accepting business from dirt bags? If so, the majority of the Poconos would have to close up shop. I’m pointing my finger at the racetrack and the dirt bag antics that go on duing NASCAR races.
Gary said,
June 27, 2007 at 3:26 pm
I can’t believe Kramer is trying to get them in trouble. Meanwhile he’s yelling the n-word at people. Seems hypocritical to me.
Heather said,
June 27, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Oh, hell. The people outside my door are talking about cervixes. Cervices? Whatever. Bleh. Help!
julieluongo said,
June 27, 2007 at 3:48 pm
My aunt and uncle live on the edge of the golf course. I’m sending this story to everyone. So, thank Matt!
Matt Lesoine said,
June 27, 2007 at 5:50 pm
I find the whole thing completely asinine. I mean really. I hate to say something about the 2 “cameramen” since I don’t even know them but come on. What 19 year old guy is upset about naked chicks within viewing distance from his house (road, driveway, whatever)? That’s a perk if anything. Nobody forced them to look at them. In actuality it appears that they had to get some high tech zoom equipment to document it properly anyway. I was always taught that if the naked chicks are in your immediate area, the hard part is already done.
It sort of follows my credo that if the girl is inside your house, the battle is already halfway won. Just don’t eff it up from there.
Also, even if “children” could see them; whoop-dee-freakin-doo. If a kid sees boobs between the ages of 5 and 10 I’m confident that they won’t turn out emotionally scarred or end up living in a van down by the river.
julieluongo said,
June 27, 2007 at 6:06 pm
The Vault of Buncheness has a brilliant entry on early experiences with porn. (It’s in the July 2006 archive.) Bunche interviewed a bunch of friends on the subject and posted the conversations complete with hilarious pictures. It’s some fine journalism:
http://buncheness.blogspot.com/search?q=+SWEET+BIRD+OF+YOUTH
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 1:50 am
I Frickin’ HEART YouTube.
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 7:15 am
my kids have seen my boobs and have asked if i was in some kinda accident, and I say “uh yeah, its called you two!”
Pegster said,
June 28, 2007 at 8:33 am
Bunche is brilliant
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 10:44 am
This has brought me healing. What is the artist trying to tell us? Can we possibly know?
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 10:47 am
he he. i love those silly little snake faces…
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 10:49 am
I think the artist is trying to say, “Don’t Eat At Denny’s”.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:05 am
Stunning.
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:06 am
i tried. I am actually quite proud of that. had to keep julies post up to make sure the picute was basicly the same.
glad you enjoyed. i only got 4 or 5 disapproving looks from management when i was making it
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:19 am
I want to make a crazy MSPaint picture. No. What I want to do is THINK about making a picture. That is much easier. We should have a contest.
julieluongo said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:23 am
Awesome pictures Spank. Does that one snake have a cigarette?
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:24 am
OHHh…it is harder than you think you silly girl….it took me YEARS to be able to draw a snake to that degree….you cant just up and make a pic…we build to that heather…
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:26 am
well, it was a fang. but here is the thing…that paintshop is fucking hard for me. i am not skilled. so we will say it is a smoke.
and ill say this..of all the snake series pics with the exception of snakes on a car….that bed parody of your post today is my best work ever.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:32 am
I’m going to start doing this all the time. I have no aspirations to be an artiste like the Spankster. I meant we should all submit our own Paint pix and see how they come out. There is no competing in art!
My first attempt.
julieluongo said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:37 am
Haha. A fang. Of course. I think I was just so mersmerized by his smile that I didn’t take in the whole thing.
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:45 am
Very nice heather. I like the wanker nose. next time lets use a Fro on mister baldy.
I am sort of wanting to do a mike and the dragon parody…but he has probably suffered enough at the hand of christy…so i will only formulate the pic in my mind. and it is hilarious. of course in my pic mike is a snake. little green smiley guy. thats a theme with me. love the snakes.
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:46 am
heather do you find it difficult to write words on the “paint thing” because i feel like halfway re re trying to fucking write the word snake with my mouse. maybe its just me
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 11:56 am
I am “all the way re-re”, so I had a terrible time with it. But we’re calling it “Rothko-esque.”
Gary said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:09 pm
I just want to mention to Heather that just because a file is named .jpg that doesn’t mean that’s what it is. Carry on.
Oh and you can type words in paint if you want to.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:17 pm
Yes, I know, but I’m at work, and my goal was to just make them uploadable into WordPress and they started as bitmaps. I just changed the file extensions so they’d show up. GARY. Can you see them? Yes, you can.
Gary said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:26 pm
HEATHER. In all caps!
It wasn’t a criticism. Just lighten up ok? jeez! I mean come on you are a woman and you think computers work by magic so give me a break ok?
gosh!!
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:28 pm
I meant, Thank you for pointing out your fine and superior knowledge, man-person. I don’t know what I was thinking back there. I get confused from the estrogen sometimes. You know how it is.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:29 pm
I knew you were holding out. We should put Eddie on all festival hoodies.
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:30 pm
gary…your little pic made me laughout loud.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:32 pm
This is fun. It’s like Blog Summer Camp. Arts & Crafts? Don’t mind if I do!
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Now all we need is Bill Murray for our camp counselor.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:39 pm
AYE. How come grown-ups DON’T have Summer Camp? I call bullshit on that. What do kids really need breaks from? School? Having all their bills magically paid? Because you know what I need? A break from the daily death of my soul, damn it.
I declare SUMMER CAMP FOR GROWN-UPS. Coming soon to an abandoned lake house near you.
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:47 pm
i jut sent you anither pic…a pic of what will happen to me at the beach this yeaer
Gary said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:50 pm
“I meant, Thank you for pointing out your fine and superior knowledge, man-person.”
You took it that way but it wasn’t I meant it. I really though maybe you didn’t know. By the way – if you have Microsoft Office installed on your computer you can save MSPaint drawings as JPG files.
Gary said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:51 pm
I forgot the “how”
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:53 pm
I will save it like I want to. but how do i post it?
Gary said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:54 pm
well there’s this thing called the infranets – I’d explain it but it’d take all day…
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:56 pm
You have to have a place to store it, like a blog or PhotoBucket or Flickr or somesuch.
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 12:58 pm
oh
Gary said,
June 28, 2007 at 1:00 pm
see, first of all there’s these tubes. You tubes and me tubes and everybody tubes. And the smaller tubes lead to bigger tubes. And all the tubes are connected. So just put the pictures in the tubes and we’ll find it.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 1:04 pm
And Spank sends her pics to me already saved AS .bmp, so when I click them to open, they open by default in Microsoft Office Picture Manager, which does not let me save them as anything BUT .bmp. Which means the easiest thing for me to do is go back and rename them, rather than opening Paint, searching for her file among hundreds, and re-saving it as a .jpg. GARY.
Quit telling me how to feel! Just make pretty pictures!
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 1:04 pm
oh. well i think ill just keep sending them to heather and she will poast them. i just sent her a boobie one. it is very classy
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 1:05 pm
yeah…you all need to make more…and where is my latest pic huh huh?? i sent it HOURS AGO!!!
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 1:06 pm
I would have, but I was busy arguing. Yargh. I have to quit that. Sorry, all.
Here it is.
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 1:09 pm
yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 1:09 pm
I’m going to go find my MSPaint and my happy little tree place.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Maybe this is less like “Arts & Crafts at Summer Camp” as “Arts & Crafts at the Mental Hospital”.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Someone just find me when it’s basket-weaving time.
Gary said,
June 28, 2007 at 1:28 pm
doing drawerings is fun
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 1:30 pm
IT APPEARS THAT GERY IS ON SPEED AND HEATHER HAS DROPPED SOME ACID…very nice. but i showed my boob so i win
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 1:31 pm
did someone punch heather in the face?? why is she bleeding from the mouth?
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 1:34 pm
He’s got this weird fellatio/castration fantasy involving me in a muumuu. I try to tell him it’s not happening, but you know how guys are.
Matt Lesoine said,
June 28, 2007 at 1:37 pm
You can really see the pastry bag-ness of spank’s boob in that picture. However, the Gary’s help one takes the cake, if only for the facial expressions of the characters.
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 1:46 pm
curses.
ill try harder next time.
matt did you see the snakes in the bed pic?? scroll up a bit and ck it out
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Okay, aside from the pastry bagness, what I can’t help but admire is the uni-leg. She’s like a mermaid.
Pegster said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:21 pm
Just a heard a joke:
What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
FULL
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Oh peg..oh ew ew ew….hahahahhah ew ew ew
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:39 pm
Peg. A ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Scenes from our trip to the beach.
Turn Around Norma said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Hi! I’m Jen, the lurker Heather invited out to play. I’m sitting 15 feet away from her, but on here she can crack me up and it still looks like I’m working. Anyway, thought it was time to finally jump in and say hola. As my introductory peace offering, I leave you with my favorite dumb joke:
A pirate walks into a bar with a peg-leg, an eypatch, a parrot on his shoulder, and a ship’s steering wheel tied to his balls. The bartender says, “Hey man, I get the leg, the patch, and the bird, but what’s up with the steering wheel?”
The pirate answers, “ARRRR, it drives me nuts!”
Gary said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:48 pm
whateva!
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:49 pm
he he. drives me nuts ha ha
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:52 pm
oh lord gary, i didnt think we’d make it to poo pics this fast. i want a t shirt of that. is the poo coming from your pants?
Gary said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:53 pm
that’s the poo heather sucked out of my ass
Gary said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:55 pm
spank did you miss heather’s picture above mine? I just modified hers.
Heather said,
June 28, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Jen! I am bleary-eyed still from last night’s festivities. Now pirate jokes? Gad damn it! Having said that, I will give you $10 to break that out in about 4 hours right in the middle of the serious lecture part. Oooh! Do it when the guy demonstrates cork-soaking.
It’s good you went with Norma; I forgot to tell you there are already like 200 Jens. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Gary said,
June 28, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Indefinite Hiatus Over!! Best female group ever back again!!
spanky said,
June 28, 2007 at 3:18 pm
i will make a spice girls poadt fisrth thing in the am…Randy!!
spanky said,
June 29, 2007 at 7:11 am
i have no idea what my above comment say, or meant for that matter. its official…my typos even confuse me
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 8:39 am
I’m sitting at my house thinking, “I don’t like work. And I don’t think I’m going to go anymore.” Someone convince me, please.
spanky said,
June 29, 2007 at 8:57 am
uh yeah. thats me everyday.
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 8:58 am
That’s not very convincing.
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 8:59 am
Maybe by the time I get out of the shower, I’ll feel like it. That could work. Let’s find out. Blah. Or, conversely, maybe I’ll just sit at home and be really clean.
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 10:10 am
Well, “The Man” wins again.
Pegster said,
June 29, 2007 at 10:20 am
uh yeah. thats me everyday.
I’m very proud of you, Heather and spanky.. WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!!
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 10:57 am
Thanks, Peg. I don’t have much of a choice most days, seeing as how my son will pester me for things like “food” and “shelter”. The nerve of this kid. The least he could do is let me in the front door of our house. But noooooo.
julieluongo said,
June 29, 2007 at 12:32 pm
I’ve worked at places where I wished they had a back door. How the hell am I suppose to be able to sneak out early or in late if I have to stroll thru the front door? Spanky, I hadn’t thought about breaking a window. Brilliant. Almost as excellent as snakes on George’s phone.
Heather said,
June 29, 2007 at 11:43 pm
Jay Leno just made a joke about those chicks on the Cherry Valley golf course. That was odd.
julieluongo said,
June 29, 2007 at 11:45 pm
Haha. We made jokes about it too. Only no one cared when we did it.
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 12:11 am
I can tell you I laughed more at our jokes than at his. Then again, I never laugh at anything Jay Leno says. I just suffer through him to stay awake for my pasty-faced cherub, Conan. We’re in love. I’m trying to keep it out of the tabloids.
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 12:38 am
Check out this chick. I got her CD a while ago and have been enjoying it. I just read on her website that her drummer works with Paula Cole, so I thought you might like her. But Conan is on now, so I must give him my undivided attention.
Pegster said,
June 30, 2007 at 9:03 am
She gets a bit of airplay on WXPN. You can listen online.
justplaininsane said,
June 30, 2007 at 9:33 am
I just lost my entire post over at blogger – I am now officially a wordpress user…
It’s me – Pegster
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 10:51 am
YAY! Peg gots de WordPress!
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 11:50 am
Now all you need is an avatar with sunglasses. I think I’m making mine today.
justplaininsane said,
June 30, 2007 at 3:52 pm
Got it!!!
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 4:06 pm
My avatar looks like Leon Redbone. That’s hott.
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 8:40 pm
No. ELVIS. Ha ha ha ha. “Fix me a peanut butter nanna sandwich. Thankyouverymuch.”
Gary said,
June 30, 2007 at 9:27 pm
I think it looks a lot like Roy Orbison.
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 9:42 pm
Awesome. I have an Orby picture on me blog right now. Why is my head so freakishly large? Why, Gary, why?
Gary said,
June 30, 2007 at 9:43 pm
I don’t think it is. Unless you have trouble wearing hats, it’s not that big.
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 9:59 pm
I’m alright with hats, but you should see Ethan. He’s like a giant head on legs. I have to buy shirts a size too big because his huge honkin’ noggin will not be accommodated by a normal size. And I am pretty certain he has never worn a hat in his life.
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 10:09 pm
AYE. You have a WordPress blog, G. Where yo’ avatar at?
Gary said,
June 30, 2007 at 10:12 pm
it said it would show up – I’m waiting.
Gary said,
June 30, 2007 at 10:36 pm
yours just went back to what it was and yet mine is nothing still…
Heather said,
June 30, 2007 at 10:40 pm
Yeah. It’s weird. Sometimes I see mine and Peg’s new one and sometimes the old. I think there’s a day of lagtime maybe. Because after the day Sissy’s kept wigging out, it finally settled on one and stayed there. I still don’t see yours. Maybe tomorrow.
Heather said,
July 1, 2007 at 10:00 am
A ha ha ha ha. I see your sunglasses picture. Them glasses be crazy.
Gary said,
July 1, 2007 at 10:46 am
it’s gone again…
those are actually MEGA BLOCKS eyes – I stuck them in my eye sockets. I like to scare Owen with them.
justplaininsane said,
July 1, 2007 at 3:32 pm
refresh, Gary, refresh
Gary said,
July 1, 2007 at 4:15 pm
yeah – it comes and goes