“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.” ~Dale Carnegie
It’s a beautiful day and I’m busy with work and yet, I wish I were on a trip. That’s why I posted the map (wish fulfillment) and the quote (advice for myself).
Heya said,
May 14, 2007 at 11:15 am
Two open threads both named “This Week’s Open Thread”?
Hijinks? Start ensuing.
Heya said,
May 14, 2007 at 11:15 am
This will be awesome.
Andy said,
May 14, 2007 at 11:21 am
Dude, something is wrong with South America on your map. Someone get the antibiotics.
Andy said,
May 14, 2007 at 11:22 am
Spx,
There is a bus demolition happening sometime soon in Indiana. I’m getting my fake-no-tooth thing ready to be more hillbillyish.
spank said,
May 14, 2007 at 11:30 am
i dont even know where south america is. did a little kid draw that map?? and further more….on the topic of thisngs that baffle me to no end….HOW…BEFORE PEOPLE FLEW. AND WE HAD PICS FROM SPACE did we get a good looking map like the ones from 1803 that i see on the antiques roadshow.
seriously that blows my fucking mind to think that someone walked around THE EARTH with a compass i suppose and maked it all down….god that makes me feel lazy as hell. unless there is another explanation for how they did it in which case im not as lazy as i thought. anyone? can anyone enlighten me on this?
Heya said,
May 14, 2007 at 11:36 am
It was strictly Lewis-and-Clark-style expeditioning that got maps drawn back in the day. The people used to take a lot of notes. The cool thing is that, for the most part, they’re pretty accurate. Or, way more accurate than a map I’d make right now. Cartography = awesome.
kc said,
May 14, 2007 at 11:39 am
I already told you where to take your next trip to..
spank said,
May 14, 2007 at 11:44 am
Andy…am I spx? kina like a BMX bike?? very cool nickname for the spankster…good thing im already missing some teeth and i still have a home perm circa 1983…so im all set…gimme time and dates..
spank said,
May 14, 2007 at 11:44 am
is anyone else confused about the fact that the open threads have the same name?/im commenting on them both for fear im mising the party
Gary said,
May 14, 2007 at 11:46 am
Mathematics, geometry, the position of the sun and stars, various tools like the telescope, sextant etc… people be smart.
spank said,
May 14, 2007 at 11:48 am
wow. they musta been smart…so whyd it take so long for them to come up with bubble wrap huh? Huh?
spank said,
May 14, 2007 at 11:48 am
i dont know what sextant is, but ive decided it involves sex and your taint. dont try to tell me otherwise
Heather said,
May 14, 2007 at 11:50 am
“Mathematics, geometry, the position of the sun and stars, various tools like the telescope, sextant etc… people be smart.”
YEAH, but surveying is what maketh maps. Damn it.
Heather said,
May 14, 2007 at 11:51 am
Sacagawea made my maps! Everyone else’s maps were made by robots.
Heya said,
May 14, 2007 at 11:53 am
Aliens left maps in crop circles, then the cartographers just copied those onto parchment. With quills.
michael said,
May 14, 2007 at 12:37 pm
Duh… Doesn’t anyone listen to the famous historian, Steven Wright? They put a huge piece of onion paper down and then just traced. The original map key said “1 mile = 1 mile”.
Heya said,
May 14, 2007 at 12:39 pm
Ha ha ha ha. Steven Wright = awesome live show. So, so funny.
Sissy said,
May 14, 2007 at 12:40 pm
“…all of us tend to put off living.”
I put off living by swimming around in my head with all the ideas I have of living. I can be doing dishes and come up with the greatest idea of living ever, then be in the middle of a pee and come up with an even greater idea, then in putting away clean laundry, BAM! An idea to out-do all ideas to date. I will do this all day, steam rolling from my ears, gears grinding away, a little voice in my head saying, “and then, and then, and then….” By the end of the day, I’m whipped. Absolutely exhausted from all the ideas I played out from beginning to end in my head. Yet, ask me what actually happened in the course of the day and I’ll give you a blank stare. I miss it all. My new idea as of late is to put chunks of time aside every day, not for myself, but to stop and acknowledge all the great ideas that happening right under my nose.
Sissy said,
May 14, 2007 at 12:42 pm
Seeing that I’m not an intellectual, I wouldn’t know the first thing about Steven Wright and his philosophical take on the history of the world. Let’s keep it in laymen’s terms, Mr. McSmartypants. For the less intelligent.
spank said,
May 14, 2007 at 12:44 pm
is onion paper made out of onions…because, i tell ya that would be some kinda stink.
spank said,
May 14, 2007 at 12:44 pm
i like when mike shows up just for the sole purpose of being a smart fuck.
Heya said,
May 14, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Screw dumb people.
Heya said,
May 14, 2007 at 12:49 pm
I’m replacing my regular dumb people with robots.
michael said,
May 14, 2007 at 12:50 pm
More laymen than 1 mile = 1 mile? Boy, tough crowd.
Heya said,
May 14, 2007 at 12:51 pm
There’s “lay”, see? And then there’s “lay”. One is way dumber than the other.
Heya said,
May 14, 2007 at 12:52 pm
She probably meant “laidmen’s terms”.
spank said,
May 14, 2007 at 12:53 pm
lol. see mike never comes around, so when he does i gotta give him a mcsmartypants time. same with gary…ill whip his ass too
Heya said,
May 14, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Maybe screwing dumb people is how we wound up with the expression “layman” in the first place.
“Him? He’s dumb. Let’s call him a ‘layman’.”
Gary said,
May 14, 2007 at 12:57 pm
I recommend mittens.
spank said,
May 14, 2007 at 12:59 pm
you want me to beat you with mittens? that is just….wrong…and yet…ill go buy some now
Heya said,
May 14, 2007 at 1:01 pm
Sissy, have you ever seen “Dude, Where’s My Car?” When you get this voice saying, “and then, and then, and then….”, you have to tell it, “NO MORE AND THEN!”
Andy said,
May 14, 2007 at 2:04 pm
SPX, it’s like you/an airport.
spank said,
May 14, 2007 at 2:09 pm
are you saying that IM HUGE LIKE AN AIRPORT?? WHO TOLD YOU THAT???
andy said,
May 14, 2007 at 2:35 pm
That’s not precisely what I’m saying. And, it was Heather.
andy said,
May 14, 2007 at 2:36 pm
JK LOL OMG ROFL PTRHFU!
Heather said,
May 14, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Damned lying-ass badgers. What’s that last set of acronyms? NO. Don’t tell me. Let me guess…
Heather said,
May 14, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Um…
Heather said,
May 14, 2007 at 2:48 pm
Is it, “pulling the rug hout from unda”?
Heather said,
May 14, 2007 at 2:51 pm
“The tension was thick. Like an airport.”
Sissy said,
May 14, 2007 at 5:12 pm
Piss Tank Running Hard For Underwear
Potholes Trick Rabbits Hiding Feverish Umbrellas
Potty Talk Reigns Here Forever Underground
Jim said,
May 14, 2007 at 6:05 pm
Fight!
Jim said,
May 14, 2007 at 6:25 pm
Indulge my geekiness for a sec…
America got this version…
We should have got this version.
That song kicks ASS! We were ripped-ed.
michael said,
May 14, 2007 at 6:29 pm
It is our mission to quickly integrate market-driven content and dramatically leverage existing value-added benefits
Gary said,
May 14, 2007 at 6:54 pm
Jaan Pehechaan Ho!
Jim said,
May 14, 2007 at 6:58 pm
Bastards!
Hearing this songat 7:30 in the AM wouldn’t have killed me…
and then, they edited out stuff like this…
He he, Major Fokker…
Jim said,
May 14, 2007 at 7:12 pm
Alright… I’m done…
NOT!
Jim said,
May 14, 2007 at 7:32 pm
Open Thread?
Ok, I recommend the following Anime for grownups.
This…
This…
and This…
That is all – sorry.
Jim said,
May 14, 2007 at 7:33 pm
Open Thread? I’m going to take steps to make you regret it.
Ok, I recommend the following Anime for grownups.
This…
This…
and This…
That is all – sorry.
Jim said,
May 14, 2007 at 7:34 pm
Open Thread? I’m going to take steps to make you regret it.
Ok, I recommend the following Anime for grownups.
This…This…and This…
That is all – sorry.
Jim said,
May 14, 2007 at 7:34 pm
Open Thread? I’m going to take steps to make you regret it.
Ok, I recommend the following Anime for grownups.
This…
Jim said,
May 14, 2007 at 7:35 pm
This…
Jim said,
May 14, 2007 at 7:35 pm
and This…
That is all – sorry.
Jim said,
May 14, 2007 at 7:36 pm
And finally, this…
That is all. He he, sorry.
Jim said,
May 14, 2007 at 7:37 pm
And finally, this… That is all. He he, sorry.
Heather said,
May 14, 2007 at 8:34 pm
You sorry bastard.
Heather said,
May 14, 2007 at 9:08 pm
Did I say that out loud? He he, sorry.
Heather said,
May 14, 2007 at 9:12 pm
I wish I were a hermaphrodite…
Wait. Again with the out loud? DAMN!
michael said,
May 14, 2007 at 10:21 pm
Our mission is to continually leverage existing progressive data while continuing to interactively network multimedia based intellectual capital
Heather said,
May 14, 2007 at 11:03 pm
You want my job? I hereby promote you! Congratulations! Here are your exorbitant insurance premiums and an invisible raise!
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 6:22 am
again with all the links i cant acess ….alot like the last 20 comments were in french. grrrrrrrrrr
Sissy said,
May 15, 2007 at 6:51 am
Mr. McSmartypants is back, fullswing. What did I tell you about those big words of yours? You know what they say about men and their big words.
Sissy said,
May 15, 2007 at 6:52 am
Don’t worry about Jim’s links, Spanks. They were all the same. Over and over. And over. And again. Once more. And again.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 8:10 am
uh huh. i bet.
Andy said,
May 15, 2007 at 8:52 am
Reaching back like an eager gyno, I don’t know what that acronym was, I was just too excited by the aforementioned airport-thick tension.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 8:52 am
I’ve broken down the room-pairings for our blog key party: Sissy/Michael, Gary/Spanky, Julie/KC, Andy/Fernando, Jim/AstroBoy, me/Herve Villechaize. If anyone wants to swap, well, there’s a sign-up sheet in the blog lobby.
But I’m telling you bitches now: back off of Tattoo. Way, way off.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 8:53 am
“Reaching back like an eager gyno.” Hoo hoo ha ha. I was busy re-creating the 70s.
Gary said,
May 15, 2007 at 8:57 am
Why do people have to fight?
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 8:59 am
NO YOU DINT! A ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Short answer: ‘Cause fighting is sexayyyyyyyyy! Short answer. Ha ha ha ha.
Heather said,
May 15, 2007 at 9:13 am
Spanks: That was a video of Herve Villechaize singing “Why Do People Have to Fight”. It’s HOTT.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 9:15 am
I’m going to be Spanks’ interpreter now. She’s YouTube-impaired.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 9:20 am
thanks for the interp…also ide like two dates…oh ok i want three…i want gary, badger boy and Jim…and i need to share this…you know how you dont know people or what they look like so you kinda imagine?? yeah well i imagine Jim to look like the janitor from scrubs…mainly because that did is fucking crazy wrong.
gary looks like Kotter from welcome back kotter…and heather looks like Jordan, dr cox’s wife from scrubs.
andy looks like orlando bloom, in elf costume of course…with a badger by his side….julie is amy wynn…
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 9:20 am
i love my sopelling
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 9:39 am
Looks like we’ve cast our movie. Gabe Kaplan, are you busy? I didn’t think so.
Sissy, of course, will be played by the inestimable Debra Winger, half-sister of Kip.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 9:41 am
right. of course…and ill be played by molly shannon. natch. i love smelling my pits.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 9:42 am
OMG. Did anyone see her this weekend doing Sally O’Malley with camel toe? I thought of you guys. Come to think of it, every camel toe I see reminds me of this blog.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 9:45 am
it took me years of over come my camel toe, or as my BIL calls is…my Gunt. Gut +cunt = gunt.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 9:47 am
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Aigh! My fragile little mind!
Andy said,
May 15, 2007 at 9:54 am
Yipes, PDX. That’s scary. The straw that broke the camel toe’s back.
Villechaize is like distorted french for Chair City. I would like to go there.
Heather said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:03 am
Oui! Allons-y a Villechaize! We can sit on the little Herves.
Wait. Isn’t “Herve” French for something? Oh, yeah. I remember: sexayyyy.
andy said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:03 am
And furthermore, I don’t really look like Orlando Bloom in an elf costume. I consider myself much more Newman-from-Seinfeld-y. I’m that kinda man hunk.
andy said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:06 am
I also think HERVE is french for Chlamydia, so be wary.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:07 am
Duly noted. Every time you show up now, we can mutter “Oh. Hello… Badger” in our Jerry voices. Like Sissy does already for Gary.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:07 am
Pack my bags! I’m heading for “Chlamydia Chair City”!
Gary said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:10 am
separated at birth
http://www.godrex.com/?p=410
Gary said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:11 am
oooops
separated at birth – 2nd try
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:13 am
ok andy…you are ruining my image with this newman business. he is unsavory and he has a man gunt. orlando in the lord of the rings with his little elf get up was smokin hot. but ill meet ya half way and conceed that you look like Gimley the dwarf. who was stout and had a heart of gold.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:13 am
Ha ha ha ha. “Welcome Back, Mr. Drechsel’s Opus.”
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:14 am
Are you high in that picture with Mr. Kotter?
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:14 am
ok so get this….i can acess gary’s links but not dirty jims.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:16 am
Jesus ….is that you gary??? on first look i thought it was a young richard dryefus….but nooooo it is the elusive gary….we will get you a fake stash and some “just for men” hair dye and then you will look just like kotter…
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:17 am
He needs a Herve ’stache. It’s the anti-Magnum P.I.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:18 am
Also, “Unsavory Man Gunt” is the name of my solo project.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:22 am
I am truely aghast that i have seen the “real” gary.
unsavory man gunst is a secret govt project involving fries and ovaltene
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:22 am
gary would be smokin as magnum…need those wee tiny oP shorts to go with it…
Gary said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:22 am
I’m always high and drunk.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:23 am
Oh yeah.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:25 am
sweet
Gary said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:27 am
Dooood we’re both so wasted!
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:29 am
That kid is on the pot, Mista Kott-aire.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:29 am
lol how cute….
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:29 am
i love drunk babies
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:30 am
With their wee red cheeks.
Gary said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:34 am
The dog is high too.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:39 am
that ddog is DERANGED
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:39 am
kidding
Gary said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:39 am
well it’s cause she’s high all the time
Andy said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:41 am
“Unsavory Man Gunt”. I haven’t laughed like that in quite some time. Phew. I actually don’t look like him whatsoever, but I think he’s hysterical-looking. And that’s like the root “hyster” referring to uteri, not the “hyster” meaning funny or whatever.
Andy said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:41 am
As an aside, I feel bad that I continue to
Andy said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:41 am
Damned enter key! Shit!
Andy said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:43 am
Take two. As an aside, I feel badLY that I continue to abuse this forum without really knowing this Gary fellow, this other Jim, and some elusive person named Hoodia. Hello, acquaintances.
Andy said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:43 am
5 in a DAMNED row. Watch the fuck out.
Gary said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:51 am
Mittens are good.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:52 am
Hoodia?? like the african weight loss herb?? yep we have that here too…take as much as you want…this is an abuse forum. gary likes it.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:53 am
This forum likes to be abused. You just have to know the “safeword”. (It’s “ABBA.”)
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:54 am
gary, i could not see the mittens …
andy…you have…on your blog…a stuffed animal STD. that alone gains you acess to anywhere….can you link us up here so the rest of the driveling idopts can see a fuzzy cute chlamydia…or was it syphillis…at any rate…was soooo cute…
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:55 am
abba abba abba
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:55 am
pronounced ahhh’ bahhhh
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 10:56 am
wait. what is gary doing with sheep skin mittens. im concerned. is her giving people mitten jerks in their free time>>
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:00 am
I can’t believe you just said “mitten jerks”. Ha ha ha ha.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:01 am
Because all I can think of when I hear “mittens” is that story about the three little kittens who lost theirs. And now it’s defiled forever. THANKS A LOT!
michael said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:02 am
It is our job to authoritatively network unique information in order that we may efficiently initiate principle-centered leadership skills
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:02 am
well…what else would ya call it?
on another note…mikes blog is nothing but commie spank haters….i can comment once…and then the dumb thing all ast like im a bot and wants me to verify the comments…..BUT ITS A TRICK. because it wants me to copy whats in the box…and there is nothing in the box..which either means mike is trying to pull some bold shit with me, or i really may be a bot. discuss…
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:03 am
i never miss a chance to use the term “bold shit”
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:05 am
this is what mike said “It is our job to authoritatively network unique information in order that we may efficiently initiate principle-centered leadership skills”
this is what spanky heard..”muap mwap mwap muap” like on charlie brown. if youd thrown a fucktard on there…it woulda reeled me right in…YOU HAVE TO WRITE TO THE MASSES MIKE…which is just a nice way of saying…talk down to spanky a little..she is slow on the uptake at times
michael said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:06 am
Our mission is to continue to seamlessly customize high-payoff leadership skills and professionally revolutionize parallel materials to meet our customer’s needs
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:09 am
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah yeah….
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:11 am
This is just like “A Fish Called Spanky.”
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:12 am
“Fettucine! Marinara! High-a payoff!”
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:17 am
im writing that script right now
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:18 am
You guys need some privacy. Maybe some mittens. I’m going to go deal with “The Man” who, oddly enough, sounds a lot like Michael lately.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:29 am
Thank God Herve doesn’t try to woo me with big words. Well, you know, he tries. But coming from him, all the words are very, very small.
kc said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:38 am
did any of you yappers happen to notice that Julie has not commented on this blog?
I do not like it when this happens.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:45 am
i also have secret feeling of anxiety too…but weve been well behaved so……………
Matt Lesoine said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:45 am
Gunt is an okay word but I prefer FUPA. Fat Upper Pussy Area…
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:45 am
she has not been in to ck in on her chicks…
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:46 am
FUPA is some bold shit Matt. I like it. I will use it today on my boss…also, let us not forget the classics….”puss gut”
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:51 am
Silence from Julie means she’s “working”. Which is a good thing. Patience, bebes. Just send her happy good-writing vibes and no guilt. NO GUILT!
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:52 am
No guilt, no leg-humping!
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:53 am
“Puss gut” makes me think of “Puss in Boots”. Which, let’s face it, has to be some serious labia issue.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:54 am
“Grandma’s got the Puss in Boots again! Give her a mirror!”
julieluongo said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:56 am
I slept in today.
So, what are we getting paired up for? Dancing? Square style? Or is it a babysitting partnership – one of us gets to get effed up? Or maybe the blog party is really just an intervention for Gary.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:56 am
“Puss gut” makes me think of “Puss in Boots”. Which, let’s face it, has to be some serious labia issue.
gave me the first laugh out loud of the day
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:57 am
hmmm im not sure what the pairing was for…maybe our big movie premier?? all i know is that ill need several dates. especially after i saw that pic of gary’s dog eating his mittens
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 11:58 am
“Or is it a babysitting partnership – one of us gets to get effed up?”
It’s the kind of babysitting where we lie to the United Way for the job, then teach the kids how to shoot pool.
julieluongo said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:12 pm
KC is a stubborn drunk. I hope I’m the one who gets to get effed up.
michael said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:15 pm
We exist to continually customize error-free data and dramatically restore economically sound infrastructures to exceed previous paradigms in open thread technology badinage.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:17 pm
Whoa. Is Michael a bot? Did someone replace our regular Mike with Corporate Bullshit crystals? I demand a refund!
julieluongo said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:20 pm
I try to customize error-free data. And yet, the infrastructure is not economically sound! It’s not! Maybe I should get up earlier.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:26 pm
That’ll shift your paradigm right up. So will this.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:33 pm
We exist to continually customize error-free data and dramatically restore economically sound infrastructures to exceed previous paradigms in open thread technology badinage.
michael. enough with your bad ass bold shit.
julieluongo said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:42 pm
Screw the paradigms.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:46 pm
incase anyone else was in the dark…….
Main Entry: par·a·digm
Pronunciation: ‘per-&-”dIm, ‘pa-r&- also -”dim
Function: noun
Etymology: Late Latin paradigma, from Greek paradeigma, from paradeiknynai to show side by side, from para- + deiknynai to show — more at DICTION
1 : EXAMPLE, PATTERN; especially : an outstandingly clear or typical example or archetype
2 : an example of a conjugation or declension showing a word in all its inflectional forms
3 : a philosophical and theoretical framework of a scientific school or discipline within which theories, laws, and generalizations and the experiments performed in support of them are formulated; broadly : a philosophical or theoretical framework of any kind
- par·a·dig·mat·ic /”per-&-dig-’ma-tik, “pa-r&-/ adjective
- par·a·dig·mat·i·cal·ly /-ti-k(&-)lE/ adverb
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Main Entry: par·a·digm
Pronunciation: ‘per-&-”dIm, ‘pa-r&- also -”dim
Function: noun
Etymology: Late Latin paradigma, from Greek paradeigma, from paradeiknynai to show side by side, from para- + deiknynai to show — more at DICTION
1 : EXAMPLE, PATTERN; especially : an outstandingly clear or typical example or archetype
2 : an example of a conjugation or declension showing a word in all its inflectional forms
3 : a philosophical and theoretical framework of a scientific school or discipline within which theories, laws, and generalizations and the experiments performed in support of them are formulated; broadly : a philosophical or theoretical framework of any kind
- par·a·dig·mat·ic /”per-&-dig-’ma-tik, “pa-r&-/ adjective
- par·a·dig·mat·i·cal·ly /-ti-k(&-)lE/ adverb
michael said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Our gratitude for being an exemplar model of the economically unsound infrastructure which requisitions our paramount consideration.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:47 pm
incase anyone else didnt know
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Paradigm-screwing = too kinky for me. I’m taking my key and going home. Perverts!
Sissy said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:48 pm
“It is our job to authoritatively network unique information in order that we may efficiently initiate principle-centered leadership skills”
“Our mission is to continue to seamlessly customize high-payoff leadership skills and professionally revolutionize parallel materials to meet our customer’s needs”
“We exist to continually customize error-free data and dramatically restore economically sound infrastructures to exceed previous paradigms in open thread technology badinage.”
“I try to customize error-free data. And yet, the infrastructure is not economically sound! It’s not! Maybe I should get up earlier.”
Julie, Michael, are you trying to bring me to me knees? Or just kill me sitting at my computer? I. Am. Dumb.
Maybe you’re trying to run me out of Blog Town.
At any rate, damn straight Debra Winger will play me. Of course, not the current Debra Winger. The one from “Terms…” What does she look like now? Not me, I hope.
And speaking of looks, GARY! Never in 8 million years did I assume Gary looked anything like that. I have to reprogram. And I also have to wonder about that tiny little pic I have on my blog and whether or not it is misrepresenting me. Spank, help me out. Is that me?
Gary said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:51 pm
I prefer “marsupial pouch.”
Or mittens.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Sissy: If they’re trying to run dumb people out of Blog Town, you ain’t going nowhurrrrrrr, Urban Cowgirl.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:52 pm
uh no. well i dontknow…someone brought in saltwater taffee abnd i am distracted by this delicious notion
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:55 pm
i think my mom is going to remarry one of her husbands…there ive said it outloud.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:56 pm
I’d like to add “taffy” and “mittens” to my List of Things That Distract People. Right below “shiny things”.
julieluongo said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Wait, Spanky, your mom is going to remarry one of her husbands? Elaborate.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Word.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:02 pm
ok well…with sissy’s permission
my mom had two husbands. both now ex
one, the first, is my brothers dad…who he never knew becayee they divorced when he was an infant.
he has since resurfaced. romance renewed. he lives in florida. i dont know how to explain in words how uncomfortable the whole situation is for me
Sissy said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:03 pm
Excuse Spanky while she wears my life on her sleeve.
Sissy said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:04 pm
And no more mom talk. I am in the process of mapping out this whole mess for my blog. It will make for a great post, since my current one has officially depressed me and everyone who is reading it, I’m sure.
Enough!
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:05 pm
Spank, email it.
Sissy said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:05 pm
And thank you, Heather. I need stroking every now and again. Julie is my regular stroker, but she’s been working and well, you know how the self-doubt reeks havoc when there’s no stroking.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:06 pm
I’m all over the self-doubt. Like white on rice on a Chinese hooker. Or something Matt Lesoine can probably say better.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:07 pm
welll what eklse is there to say?? i posted what i know…sisiy i FORBID YOU TO MAKE THIS A BLOG TOPIC WHEN YOU HAVENT EVEN MET HHIM. do you hear me….foooorrbiiiiddd
Sissy said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:07 pm
OH NO YOU DON’T! Sit tight. Give me a day or two. I will unravel the soap opra. Well, not the whole season because that’s just impossible. Good lord, where would I begin?
Sissy said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Freedom of speech. It’s not about him, either. Let’s just say, “Sara, mom’s ex-husband left a message on the answering machine.” I listen to the message. Me: “I guess that kind of sounds like dad. What’s he doing in Florida.” Spanky walks out of the room without explanation. And, oh my, was there ever an explanation.
Sissy said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:10 pm
For background, I’ll re-post “Live From Newport” as a page so you all can get caught up to speed.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Ok fine i wont talk about. even though i have to live with it, listen to it and pretend that its normal for mom to re-date her exhusband. the whole thing is extrordinarily wierd. and my own person bitterness towards the woman does not help matters. i feel like pulling the dude aside and be like “look, she cant pump gas, is allergic is running her own errand, and does not cook, leaves clothing in the washing machine till it smells of decaying flesh, and so on. also, she is mean to her daughter.’ but if i did the polite warning…then i would not be rid of her…
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:12 pm
I’ve got nothing to add to this exciting sisterly drama, but I wanted to say that any permutation of the word “stroke” always reminds me of this. Hoo hoo hoo. Sorry about that.
Gary said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:13 pm
I’m eating an orange.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:13 pm
Quite simply, the craziest song ever made. So you need to be aware of it.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:14 pm
i feel like i will be living in a woman’s shelter soon.
wutever. i should be happy. and yet, i do not seem to be. there will never be enough therapy in the world to resolve my feelings towards her.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:14 pm
BREATHE.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:14 pm
PEACHES. BREATHING WITH PEACHES.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:14 pm
you need to translate the link….stroke??
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:15 pm
You’d need to see it to appreciate it. It’s a song by Clarence Carter called “Strokin’” in which he details all the ways that he, uh, strokes his woman. It’s outstanding.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:16 pm
For the levity and whatnot. Of course, since you can’t see it… DOH.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:24 pm
i am familiar with the tune. he wrote it about me…hahahah not
Matt Lesoine said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Wow there’s definitely some drama brewing here. Technically I guess it’s been brewed, with 3 filters, 15 scoops, and left on the burner for awhile. To make an airport thick, soupy pot of scalding hot drama, with rancid bleu cheese cream on top…
Gary said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:28 pm
I don’t see what the big deal is.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:28 pm
I love drama that isn’t mine. I think that’s called Schadenfreude. Carry on!
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:30 pm
big deal on the drama? Eh i dunno…prolly more drama for my brother…who up untill a week ago never met his “real” dad…for me it does not matter…i am just against any kind of change in life. i always fight it. i guess my drama is that she divorced him for a reason…and what has changed in 38 years? dunno but i hope she figures it out…
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:30 pm
Spank: Maybe she just wants to feel young again or something. Plus, if she shacks up with him, she’ll be out of your face. Encourage them to move to Mexico together.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:31 pm
I like Matts description of the situation. it is quite dead-on, i can smell the cheese…
michael said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:32 pm
“Julie, Michael, are you trying to bring me to me knees? Or just kill me sitting at my computer? I. Am. Dumb.”
Whatever dude. All you need is word love.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:32 pm
i will. he lives in florida so maybe they will shack up down thataways. i forsee free disney trips in my future.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:33 pm
mike…i knew you were cheating you stinko
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:33 pm
38 years is a REALLY long brew.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:35 pm
I told you they have Disney Cruises to the Bahamas. “Isaac, another margarita, please. Captain Stubing, please lotion my back. Wait. No.”
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:37 pm
“Isaac, another margarita, please. Captain Stubing, please lotion my back. Wait. No.”
hahahahahha
long brew indeed
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Oooh! I know! Get your mom and her friends to move to Miami like the Golden Girls. I suppose she would be Sophia in that scenario.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:49 pm
Im on the pnone with sissy right now and i am “snort laughing” sooo funny…..no…well yeah, shed be sophia…id be dorothy and sissy can be dorothy’s stuck up snooty sometimes seen sister…..i guess someone needs to be blanche…now bout gary
Sissy said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:50 pm
“prolly more drama for my brother…who up untill a week ago never met his “real” dad”
Who are mom is now DATING.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:50 pm
i cannot wait to start wearing my moo-moo pant suit dresses
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:51 pm
sissy…im over that now…you have to call me Maude from now on.
old people dating. ew. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:52 pm
the pitter patter of elderly feet down my hallway for some geriatric lovemaking…oh i just threw up in my mouth.
Sissy said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:55 pm
I was onto Michael way back when, but I wanted him to say it for himself. It’s not my dispose to be calling individuals out on the carpet. I like to lure them on their own discord. I also use a Webster’s hardcopy. Those new-fangled web services get my ass cheeks in a ruffle.
Sissy said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:57 pm
I meant, “Who our mom is DATING.”
Gary said,
May 15, 2007 at 1:58 pm
MITTENS!!
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 2:00 pm
I am picturing those lovely clapping ckeeks in a pretty ruffle and i have to say…the image is not a good one. kind of like some accordian fleshy sea creature. all ruffly and pink. not good at all…those orcses are not tasty…
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 2:02 pm
gary did you suffer a head injury? whats with the mittens? is there a mitten update? because if there is i have not been briefed..
Sissy said,
May 15, 2007 at 2:02 pm
Well, now that it’s out, let’s paraphrase:
Mom gets married in 1963
Has baby in 1964
Gets divorced in 1965
Gets married in 1966
Has me in 1971
Has Spank in 1976
Spends the next 25 years three sheets to the wind while taking turns with current husband as to who is going to leave who this week.
Gets divorced in 2001 plus the seven years it took to litigate
Finds first husband in 2007 (note that first-born has never met his father)
My take on it is this. My brother got to have a stint with my dad, now it’s my turn with his.
And that’s my post. I think I’ll the Halmark Channel tomorrow and throw them a pitch because ex-husband number one said, “In forty years [and three wives] I’ve never stopped loving you.” That has Hallmark written all over it!
Sissy said,
May 15, 2007 at 2:04 pm
Mom is going to disown me. I have to go now.
michael said,
May 15, 2007 at 2:04 pm
Huh… a quicker, more up-to-date way to look up words. The devil, you say.
It is our mission to quickly negotiate word-class content to meet our customer’s needs.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 2:18 pm
“In forty years [and three wives] I’ve never stopped loving you.” That has Hallmark written all over it!
jesus bloody fuck.
im going to be sick. 3 wives??what the shit. ok im so done with this. they are both turd burglars as far as im concerned. unless he gives me money in which case it should be noted that i can be quite easily bought
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 2:23 pm
“jesus bloody fuck.”
Now that was Christy-like.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 2:26 pm
ill take that as a compliment
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Totally was.
spank said,
May 15, 2007 at 2:36 pm
well shoot. thas jus great
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 2:39 pm
“In forty years [and three wives] I’ve never stopped loving you.”
People that can’t get their love together in 40 years and 3 wives should give it a rest.
My dad and the girl he left to marry my mom, then later left my mom for, have been “trying” to work their deal out for – guess what? – 40 years. I’m like, “Too bad you can’t figure that out, pops. Because the not-figuring-it-out has eaten up what most other people would have turned into a very long, happy and fruitful time together.” I mean, 40 years ago, they could have just got on the same page and been done with it. But it’s like they’re in some parallel universe of loser-head-game-marriage. Maybe the game IS their marriage.
All I know is it’s weird, and I don’t like it. It makes me feel bad for him.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 2:40 pm
Whoa. Sorry. That looks like blog therapy hyuh. Do skim.
Gary said,
May 15, 2007 at 2:42 pm
I don’t see what the big deal is – again.
Jerry Falwell is dying. This should be a happy day.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 2:53 pm
He’s dead.
Jim said,
May 15, 2007 at 4:12 pm
Hey, God. You can’t just leave all of these others to sit in will call.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 4:18 pm
Quit calling me God. Sheesh.
Sissy said,
May 15, 2007 at 4:31 pm
It makes her nervous.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 4:32 pm
It gives me the performance anxiety.
kc said,
May 15, 2007 at 4:57 pm
im not a stubborn drunk, Im a PERSISTANT drunk. sheesh. and you were flattered. dont even try it.
julieluongo said,
May 15, 2007 at 5:12 pm
Well, I am so cute.
Thanks for the Jerry update. Time for the Falwell-themed party I’ve been planning for the past 10 years.
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 5:13 pm
Can anyone calculate what a 3% raise on “slave wages” works out to? Am I still an indentured servant or what? Anyone? 3%? Does that even keep pace with the raise in gas prices? Maybe they could have just taken their raise and bitten me instead. Maybe that’s what they should have done.
Maybe they won’t get my red stapler. Maybe I’ll burn the place down…
Heya said,
May 15, 2007 at 5:20 pm
“Fare Thee Well, Falwell!” or “Jerry Didn’t Fall Well”. Those are my theme contributions.
Is it bad that the first thing I said was, “Looks like they’ll need a new bigot”? That’s bad, right? I’m going to hell. Time to turn the other ass-cheek.
Jim said,
May 15, 2007 at 6:26 pm
In case anyone’s keeping score that’s:
Homosexuals-1 / Jerry Falwell-0 F
Oooo, so close…
Heather said,
May 15, 2007 at 6:47 pm
Falwell shut-out at the buzzer.
michael said,
May 16, 2007 at 12:51 am
In regards to Jerry Falwell’s death, I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America; I point the finger in their face and say, you helped this happen. Thank you!
julieluongo said,
May 16, 2007 at 1:49 am
The world is a better place without Falwell. The self-righteous religious enrage me. I watched Deliver Us From Evil and I’m hopping mad. But, abuse of power isn’t just for televangelists or Catholics:
http://julieluongo.wordpress.com/2006/12/06/hypocrisy-is-the-new-religion/
Damn, I’m self-referential.
spank said,
May 16, 2007 at 7:02 am
i dont care about jerry. he WAS passionate about what he beleived…sadly it was all just complete rubbish. because of my current kidney stone situation i am unable to care about much.
RIP jerry and may you be eaten slowly by many evil sinner ants.
spank said,
May 16, 2007 at 7:02 am
maybe im dying. that would suck.
julieluongo said,
May 16, 2007 at 8:59 am
Spanky, that sounds bad. Go to the hospital.
kc said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:15 am
homosexuals: 1 – Jerry Falwell: 0
thats pretty god damned funny.
get it? “god damned” funny.
snarf.
spank said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:15 am
no…its starting to clear up….took much motrin…deff kidney stoneish….not fatal just painful…been thru it before…just gotta pee it out and all will be well in the world. thanks for your concern though…i was pretty shaky when i came in this morning.
spank said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:16 am
snarf. lol
spank said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:18 am
now that i am not in blinding pain….i am re reading mikes comments…and I FEEL LIKE HE IS SLAMMING ME FOR NOT SPELLING RIGHT…. well i can spell i just cant fucking type…i have a disorder…so wut..you making fun of diabled spankies now? huh? huh? (in my best tough girl type voice)
Heya said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:19 am
Abuse of power is for everyone! I shouldn’t go here, but I’m not doing so hot in the piety department lately, so maybe that will cover this train of thought… Had I a choice between Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell, I’d have preferred to see Pat go first. Jerry seemed like he could be engaged in a conversation. A conversation that went nowhere, but still one in which there were two people trying to communicate. Of course, that may have made him the more dangerous; I don’t know. Pat’s from some other planet. Which, generally, I enjoy. I just think his planet is made of evil. I cannot be sure.
Heya said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:19 am
Girl gots to drink some cranberry juice.
spank said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:30 am
im on it. and water. and gatorade…because the fantastic thing about kidney stones is that they actually hurt so bad and often times are hand in hand with infection…you get to vomit too!! yeppers. puke for kidneys. i need julie to look this up in her special “feelings” dr book so my kidneys stop attacking me. seriously. i gotta know…why is my body angry.
Heya said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:34 am
Because you’re “pissed off” and not expressing it.
Heya said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:35 am
I suspect there may be a 38-year old brew to blame.
Heya said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:37 am
Dr. J?
Heya said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:38 am
She’s got to be asleep. Anyway, I recommend the Mother-Daughter heart-to-heart, then more cranberry juice.
spank said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:40 am
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Dr. J said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:42 am
Kidney stones are from anger over criticism.
Heya said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:42 am
A ha ha ha ha. Oh, but YES.
Heya said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:45 am
Dr. J is in!
spank said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:48 am
Me being critical? or my reaction to critical comments coming my way??
I have to say i havent been overly critical as of late…been kinda mellow yellow…and i dont feel any critical cmmts either
spank said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:49 am
so ig guess we are not swapping recipes. i got pretty excited there for a minute.
Heya said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:57 am
I’ll swap recipes witchoo, girl. I have all manner of crazy recipes. And when I say “crazy”, I mean “delicious”.
Dr. J said,
May 16, 2007 at 9:58 am
It’s a reaction to criticism. You know that clenched feeling you get when someone criticizes you? That’s your kidney stone building up.
spank said,
May 16, 2007 at 10:04 am
hmmm…well ill have to ponder this…..someone (snorter) is clipper her toenails in the cube beside me…im not feeling critical…more like homicidal.
I am a sensetive girl…i often feel people are being critical to me, when in reality, that just isnt the case. i suffer paranioa. kidney paranioa. Dr House would know what to do
Andy said,
May 16, 2007 at 10:21 am
http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/main/venereals/
spank said,
May 16, 2007 at 10:25 am
hahahahah love it!!
Andy said,
May 16, 2007 at 10:27 am
I’m nothing if not timely.
spank said,
May 16, 2007 at 10:34 am
right.
Heya said,
May 16, 2007 at 10:57 am
Looks like the wimmins got all up in the kitchen this morning. Now back to our regularly scheduled Open Thread. Hm. I’m hungry.
Heya said,
May 16, 2007 at 10:58 am
Ah, yes. The VD plushie has taken care of that now.
spank said,
May 16, 2007 at 11:02 am
i want a vd plushie…have my kids take it to school
Heya said,
May 16, 2007 at 12:55 pm
“Look what Mommy gave me!”
spank said,
May 16, 2007 at 1:03 pm
hehehehe i am the schools nightmare
andy said,
May 16, 2007 at 2:28 pm
Whatevs, dudes, this shit’s educational. They even have ones for malaria and Lyme disease, which, by the way, is TOTALLY what that weirdo chick from the Real Word Seattle had, you know, the one who got bitchslapped by that fruity black dude.
spank said,
May 16, 2007 at 2:39 pm
that made me laugh out loud.
Heya said,
May 16, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Well, I just had the most contentious meeting of my life. Good freaking golly, Miss Molly! Newbies. Meh. It’s hard to be professional when all you want to say is “Shape the eff up, mang! Jobs be scarce.”
OMG. I AM “The Man.”
Heya said,
May 16, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Ah, well. That’s why they pay me the fair-to-middlin’ bucks.
Heya said,
May 16, 2007 at 4:57 pm
I meant, rather, “That’s why I work for free.”
Sissy said,
May 16, 2007 at 11:20 pm
I. Must. Have. The Pox! Awwwwwww!
Heya said,
May 18, 2007 at 4:41 pm
Snooze-fest in the house! Two days later…
I’m just putting this here because the thread seemed lonely. There, there, little thread. I will take care of you. I won’t let the bad ladies mash you with sour cream. Or wrap you in baconses.
LeOgAhEr said,
June 20, 2007 at 4:16 pm
I Love you girls
Buy
Gary said,
June 20, 2007 at 4:27 pm
whatcha sellin?
Heather said,
June 20, 2007 at 4:30 pm
Awww. Sweet. We love you, too. Especially if you’re a Leo. Because that’s what we all are. We’re all Leo INTJs with Oedipus complexes and self-transcendence needs.
We also love cigars. Come back all the time!
Heather said,
June 20, 2007 at 4:31 pm
SONOFABITCH, I am leaving!
Jim said,
June 20, 2007 at 5:15 pm
Here spam catcher, here boy!