“To be truly radical is to make hope possible rather than despair inevitable.” ~Raymond Williams
In Tacoma, Washington police opened fire with rubber bullets at close range on protesters chanting, “shame on you.” Previously, the protesters were tsking and scraping their index fingers, but things quickly escalated. The incendiary speech inspired the police to protect the dangerous protesters from themselves. After the tear gas settled, the press did its part by not reporting the event. This successfully keep community outrage from breaking out. YouTube allowed this video to be posted. Very irresponsible. Bad YouTube! Bad!
[PS. They are protesting the deployment of a Ft. Lewis-based Stryker brigade deploying to Iraq as part of the US escalation of the war.]
kc said,
April 22, 2007 at 10:17 pm
so, what were they protesting?
Heather said,
April 22, 2007 at 10:18 pm
My question as well. I can’t make out the audio.
Heather said,
April 22, 2007 at 10:18 pm
Probably living in a police state.
Sissy said,
April 22, 2007 at 10:54 pm
Shame on you for what?
the unsinkable spanky brown said,
April 23, 2007 at 6:39 am
Shame on who? Who is filled with hot shame other than me?
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 7:56 am
Spanky is always trying to get my hot! Jeez can’t we go a day?
the unsinkable spanky brown said,
April 23, 2007 at 8:18 am
Whoa…what i do? i swear to god it wasnt me gary…i DID NOT SEND YOU ANY PORN…NOPE not me
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 8:38 am
seriously though can someone find out what the protest was all about?
the unsinkable spanky brown said,
April 23, 2007 at 8:46 am
Prolly about the new “jenny craig” promotion. everyone is mad about the fued between Kirsty alley and valerie bertinelli.
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 23, 2007 at 8:53 am
Thank you all for your kind words about my doggie. Very nice from people who don’t even know me–so thank you. And Julie, I enjoyed your blog about Bear–he looked like a really cool dog. Anyway, I wish we could see this protest video–Medicare nazis apparently blocked it. Oh well. I am going to focus the rest of my day on joining the roller derby league.
the unsinkable spanky brown said,
April 23, 2007 at 9:02 am
ck out http://www.pennlive.com to see central pa roller derby chicks. sadly, i know some of these people.
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 9:20 am
Lehigh Valley. Bringing it. Ha ha ha. We’ve got the best bitches.
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 9:25 am
Tacoma, WA, March 10, 2007 ? Activists opposed to a military shipment bound for Iraq continued their week long campaign with a rally in downtown Tacoma and a demonstration at the Port of Tacoma. They are protesting the deployment of a Ft. Lewis-based Stryker brigade deploying to Iraq as part of the US escalation of the conflict.
http://lotusinthemud.typepad.com/sujatin/2007/03/tacoma_police_f.html
the unsinkable spanky brown said,
April 23, 2007 at 9:33 am
so it was some military mess they were against??? and we shot them?? and gassed them?? Wow we really have brought a little of Iraq back with us…fucking morons.
spangery said,
April 23, 2007 at 9:34 am
new theme, new name
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 9:46 am
I always shoot my protesters. Otherwise, they talk back like the rude little pigs that they are.
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 9:47 am
If only Alec had been there, this all could have turned out differently.
spankgolia said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:07 am
I know right?? that little Ireland child prolly started the whole thing…she is sneaky like that…
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:09 am
She’s totally thoughtless! Like these protesters! The police just flew in there to set their rude, thoughtless pig asses straight. And then? The soapy nipples.
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:15 am
ohhh i HATE the soapy nipple treatment…that just gets right under my nipple skin i tell ya
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:20 am
If my name were “Ireland”, I’d probably be pretty rude.
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:21 am
I like asspankistan–nice.
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:22 am
ass-spankistan? nipple skin? filled with hot shame?
Let’s face it. It’s getting to the point where you can’t even protest if you don’t agree. I’ve got a macho man calling me a chick and a moonbat. What is the world coming to? Poo help us all.
Jenn said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:22 am
There’s a feud between Kirstie annd Valerie? How did I not know about this?
And I have decided that while maybe Alec went a little too far with the phone message, it’s entirely possible that the kid pushed him to the edge. I can really see that happening, especially if she’s anything like a lot of these spoiled brat pre-teens that inhabit the mall in their expensive clothes and yacking on their cell phones. (Don’t get me started on how an 11 year old not only doesn’t need a cellphone, but doesn’t need a credit card or a $200 pair of jeans either).
While it was wrong for him to blow up at her like that, it was just as wrong for her mother or her mother’s lawyers to release it. The kid’s already going through enough that she doesn’t need to be publically humiliated like that. I know when I got a “talking to” from my parents, I didn’t want my siblings to hear it, let alone the entire world. Shame on whoever was responsible for releasing it.
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:22 am
Yeah like the name Heather stops you.
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:24 am
Time to break with your old church, Gary, and start your own. It’s the next logical step. You’re obviously some kind of poo reformer/mess-iah.
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:25 am
I meant “ruder.”
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:25 am
What do people think of these Bratz things?
I personally think it’s good training for your daughter to be a whore or a stripper. Thank poo I have a boy.
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:28 am
first…what is a moon bat…
second….accroding to intouch magazine Kirstey is mad because Valerie isnt as Fat as kirstey was and already looks cuter…which then forced Kirstey to eat 25 pans of brownies.
third…i would attedn the church of Gary. is there porn in the backround as your preaching? i hope so…
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:29 am
bratz.com/ – -I tried to make Bratz a link but it didn’t quite work.
Well my old church still gives me what I need and want. Poo is more like a calling . Something that has been thrust upon me and I must face. I feel I am the better for it so far.
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:30 am
i always wanted to “pick” stripper but my dad made me pick Whore…he said it was a better choice since he was certian that spripping would lead to sore feet and “pole burns”
i hate to admit it, but dad was right..
Anonymous said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:32 am
a moonbat is what macho so called “conservative” blogger guys call liberal bloggers.
Anonymous said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:34 am
spanky – in my church you’re filled with hot shame – repeatedly. And then there’s poo. I don’t know. Maybe I need to re-think it.
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:34 am
oops- I’m the anonymous one
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:34 am
Ok anonymous…come up with a better name…anything with “bat ” in it does not work for me. I have slayed many bads and unless you call me a moonbat slayer…which i am clearly not…i would not like to be in the company of anyone ‘bat like”
how bout you just call em…ummmmm moon gary’s
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:35 am
hahahahahahah that is hilaaaarous…..moon gary’s and IT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
but seriously dude…i am scared shitless of bats.
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:37 am
Wait a minute…gary do you mean to tell me that they fill you with hot shame and then force you to eat Poo? do you get dipping sauce because if not then…man I think you can do better than that
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:38 am
I was thinking. Not to tell Julie what to do or anything – but creating an open thread to talk shit might be a good idea. It’s what the big blogs do. Helps keep things sort of on topic. I know I don’t like when people go wildly off topic at my place. Just a thought. Carry on.
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:40 am
Sorry – I’ve having trouble working in the poo aspect. Maybe poo is just symbolic. Yeah. Soapy nipples, hot shame and symbolic poo.
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:42 am
Oh gary..you were being so nice to me…an then the “shut the hell up and stay one topic” undertones…(tsk tsk, followed by long sigh)
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:46 am
He’s filling in for our regular chaperone, who, by the way, has been gone for quite a while now. Can someone check on Mike, please?
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:46 am
you’re imagining things spank. I just mentioned it because this is a serious topic – and I personally wouldn’t want a bunch of hooligans (hehehe) going nuts under it. But I don’t know what Julie thinks. It is her place after all. I wasn’t directing my thought at you spanks.
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:47 am
Mike, I am sure is busy writing congress about our misconduct.
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:48 am
Didn’t someone mention before that mike hasn’t got internet yet. I’m sure he’s fine.
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:48 am
i was kidding…about you gary…and your probably right…we need a special forum, like the special olympics, for us.
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:52 am
I don’t need the Special Olympics to tell me what I already know: I’m a winner!
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:56 am
this is true. but, alas gaary has made me feel insecure…so t o be more on topic…and i am sure I am not alone here…how much do you think the govt hides from us…and do they (govt) go to measures much scarier than rubber bullets and tear gas?
how can we know? How do they hide it? Is “smoking man” from X-files somehow to blame? is Alec Baldwin the cause?
Who knows?? and furthermore…do we really want to know??
discuss.
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:57 am
“How much do you think the govt hides from us?”
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Hoo hoo. Hee hee.
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 23, 2007 at 10:57 am
I dotn want to know. I prefer to stay in my koo koo bubble. By the way, Spanks–in my roller derby research, I found that a lot of the girls are from up your way. I say you join with me.
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 11:01 am
I know people who know roller derby girls. They’re all over the MySpace. I’m afraid of them. I’m afraid of girls with bruises all over. Unless they’re hookers.
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 11:01 am
Ok Heather…laugh it up…why are they hiding things…what are they hiding…who are “they”
and Kookoo…no way jose’ am i a roller girl…i told you i am terrible on skates. terrible.
and then to have those girls from up my way…THAT I DO NOT LIKE whip my fat butt…no thanks. youll look much cuter doing it. ill be your manager. do these chicks get paid?
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 23, 2007 at 11:02 am
No. You kill yourself for free.
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 11:10 am
Im more of a “chip derby” than a “roller derby” kinda gall.
if you join….dont tell those chicks you know me….i repeat…
GoDrex.com » Blog Archive » Maybe someone can explain this to me said,
April 23, 2007 at 11:44 am
[...] Thanks to Julie for bringing this to my attention. Independent media videographers were present, and films of the event have already been posted on http://www.youtube.com. Local television stations that have been covering the Port of Tacoma demonstrations were not present Friday night. [...]
julieluongo said,
April 23, 2007 at 12:43 pm
Hmm, open thread you say…but, that would mean change, and we don’t like change. Change is scary and it weighs your pockets down.
For real though, I’m all about off-topic meandering. It’s a party over here. No one puts my blog in a corner.
Unless you want open threads. In which case, I will struggle with WordPress until I can figure out how to do that. I’m compliant.
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 12:48 pm
I want to stay here…where gary can offend me in front of everyone. i like it like that
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Way to stand firm, Luongo.
julieluongo said,
April 23, 2007 at 12:58 pm
My indifference is legendary.
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Well I don’t really want them – I was just throwing the idea out there. I’ve never done it at my place since I don’t get enough comments. I’ve just noticed it on some of the larger blogs that get tons of comments. Every so often they create a generic post just to give people a place to BS.
And you don’t have to do anything special to have an “open thread” – You just make a topic called Monday’s Open Thread (or whatever day it is) – and then everyone chats in there.
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 12:59 pm
“My indifference is legendary.” classic. i love it.
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 1:00 pm
ass-spank likes when I “offend” her in front of others (I’m taking notes).
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 1:04 pm
its a turn on gary. public scorn get me going
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 1:24 pm
yeah I’m all about the scorn. so scornful.
julieluongo said,
April 23, 2007 at 1:26 pm
A rousing chorus of “shame on you” will get you a shower of rubber bullets in Tacoma.
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Ohhhhhhhh gaaaaaaaareeeeeeeeeeeeee…dont…stop…….lol…
Also, Julie i was wondering if we can get a sandwich sale together so we can all have “Team Luongo” varsity jackets.
it would really mean alot to me.
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 1:32 pm
I beleive that might be the S&M’ers dream…shaming ones self and then getting shot. perfecto…i think it was prolly a s&M convention gone horribly wrong, because while they wanted to be shot and possibly beaten….the tear gas was not welcomed so now they all all the sudden “political activists….”
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 1:33 pm
spank is checking out airline prices for flights to Tacoma right now.
julieluongo said,
April 23, 2007 at 1:35 pm
A sandwich sale sounds like a fantastically subversive money making scheme. Get it? Sub-versive…Sub.
I’m hungry now. Must. Eat. Hoagie.
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Spanks, very astute. Underneath all that flannel? Leather, baby.
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Spanks probably rocks the PVC and rubber.
Jim said,
April 23, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Awesome.
My Charlie Manson-esque dream of a post-civil war Ninja clan is quickly becoming a reality.
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Oh Jim…Jim Jim JIm……I just dont know what to say…
and yes Gary, my flight is already booked to Tacoma except now I will dress up as military and hopefull there will some risidual outrage and i may get beaten by civilians. ill take my camera and have someone film while i get beaten in my painted on cammo outfit. that painted on rubber is all the rage now. ill have to buy the whips and chains when i get there since the airlines are not supportive.
and julie…HOAGIES RULE…with my marketing scheme, your people skills and Jims hitler like leadership we WILL HAVE TEAM WHIPPIT LUONGO!!
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 1:55 pm
wait a minute…isnt PVC some kind of plumbing pipe?
i am deeply disturbed as i consider what you think I might possibly do with that…..
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 23, 2007 at 1:57 pm
i am confident you could find many, may things to do with a piece of pvc, spank
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 2:01 pm
I think it you should utilize Spank’s people skills, Julie’s Hitler-like leadership and Jim’s marketing schemes. Just to change it up a little.
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 2:02 pm
We will unite the disparate peoples of Assmackistan once and for all. Rise up with fists!
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 2:03 pm
Fists and PVC pipe? Yeah. I’m not sure where that’s going.
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 2:04 pm
I’ll tell it to my grandkids like this… “In MY day, you couldn’t protest without getting shot with rubber OR PVC pipe. You kids have it so easy. And fists? Uphill both ways! Don’t get me started on the assless chaps.”
julieluongo said,
April 23, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Hitleresque leadership = superior people skills.
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Irrefutably.
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 2:13 pm
I like the sound of “Team Whippet.” I’m not sure such a team could get much done.
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 2:15 pm
Heather you just made me laugh so hard i have tears…
the ole back in my day story…
“Hitleresque leadership = superior people skills.” and julie there is a reason you have a famous blog…i dont know what the reason is, but i think it has something to do with comments like that and also the assless pvc pipe beating clinics you hold once a month.
afsspankistan said,
April 23, 2007 at 2:16 pm
that last comment makes refrence to people with no asses, beating each other with pvc piping…which is not what i meant..,but equally as disturbing
Sissy said,
April 23, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Is it too late to comment on Bratz?
The great thing about Julie’s blog is that it’s JULIE’S BLOG. Of course she doesn’t mind the daily banter. If she wanted the topic addressed, she’d kindly pay a visit and leave a gentle comment regarding the nature of the post and we’d all adhere for a comment or two and then run while amongst ourselves.
Jules, it IS a party over here! I love it! I don’t even know why I have my own blog when I have this place to hang out.
Again, Michael is moving and has no Internet. I’m sure Julie knows more about this than I do.
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 2:32 pm
There are many uses for PVC. As a hard plastic, it is used as vinyl siding, magnetic stripe cards, window profiles, gramophone records (which is the source of the name for vinyl records), pipe, plumbing and conduit fixtures. The material is often used in Plastic Pressure Pipe Systems for pipelines in the water and sewer industries because of its inexpensive nature and flexibility. PVC pipe plumbing is typically white, as opposed to ABS, which is black.
It can be made softer and more flexible by the addition of plasticizers, the most widely used being phthalates. In this form, it is used in clothing and upholstery, and to make flexible hoses and tubing, flooring, to roofing membranes, and electrical cable insulation. – wikipedia.org
yes let’s hear about bratz.
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Bratz are rude, thoughtless pig dolls.
Sissy said,
April 23, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Bratz is the most amazing product available to young females across the globe. NOT! What in the hell are toy manufactures thinking? Here we are in world where babies have babies and the best we can do is come up with whore dolls to reinforce the nature of young girls wearing next to nothing on their bodies and painting their faces for Mardi Gras?
When they first came out, I didn’t have cable television so my angels had no idea what was happening outside Sesame Street and Barney. Once cable was installed, more for Internet purposes than any, my girls insisted upon owning every Bratz accessory available in today’s market. I, of course, said no, however, they breathed whispers into my husband’s mother’s ear and lo and behold, Bratz entered my household. To make it worse, Andy’s sister joined the Bratz buying bandwagon.
Regardless of what I look like in blog comments, I am a decent, down to earth mother. I teach my children reservation and self-respect through exhibiting these qualities within my own day to day dealings. It is not appropriate for bellies to show. Heiny cheeks are not meant to stick out underneath the hemline of shorts. Privates are called privates for a reason. No make up. No nail polish (except when they are at Spanky’s house where they can spill it all over her carpet and furniture). No sleeze ball outfits.
I didn’t have to tell my children how inappropriate Bratz are. They figured out on their own that Bratz did not comply with who we are in my household. Children play with toys to which they can relate. Pretent play is a child acting out her impression of her own life with the aid of props. Children use toys to depict their future or to create who they might want to be when they grow up. My girls could not apply themselves to whore dolls.
So, yes, there are Bratz in my home. I don’t know exactly where they are. Maybe in the bottom of a toy box or in someone’s closet. I can tell you exactly where Zoey’ s softball glove is and where all of Hazel’s babydolls are. I can tell you where Claire’s arts and crafts are and I can tell you that right now she needs a refill on the tacky glue. But the novelty of Bratz lost out on the contradiction they posed within my children.
Instill values and it will pay off in the form of watching children make wise and responsible decisions on their own.
Gary said,
April 23, 2007 at 3:13 pm
I grew up having GI Joe and plastic army men and toy guns of all kinds, and one of my favorite pretend games was War or Cops and Robbers. I don’t think it had any effect on me though. I don’t like guns and would never be in the military. Though I think those things aren’t important to be popular or feel accept by your peer group at school – at least they weren’t where I grew up. For me growing up the best thing you could be was an athlete. I have no idea what it was for girls. I guess now the best thing you can be is hot.
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 3:20 pm
It’s a sad day when “Doctor Barbie” seems enlightened.
Heather said,
April 23, 2007 at 3:21 pm
“In MY day, Barbie wore a string bikini!”
Sissy said,
April 23, 2007 at 3:23 pm
Nah, my girls are athletes. Zoey plays soccer, tennis and softball. Claire’s into theater, too. All three of my chitlins qualified for the Philadelphia City Gymnastics Championships and the biggest deal of all was dragging their trophies into school to show their teachers. They are offended by “hotties” and verbalize that they are embarassed for sleezy girls. (Of course, these are my words falling from their mouths!)
My mother would not allow Barbie dolls in her house. Nada. They had boobies.
Sissy said,
April 23, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Dangit. I replied to Gary and I think Julie’s spam catcher ate my comment.
Sissy said,
April 23, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Oh, never mind. There it is.
Jim said,
April 23, 2007 at 4:38 pm
That’s not all her meat catcher ate.
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 6:29 am
Oh lord.
my kids will pick a large packing box over a new toy any day. they speak feverishly about going to an appliance store to obtain a refrig box. we have hand me down barbies but no one plays with them. lots of animals, fake ones are the toy of choice. no bratz.
but sophie did want a bratz pony and so i bought her the whore pony because hey…whore ponies are fab
Gary said,
April 24, 2007 at 7:31 am
I want a whore pony!! I want a whore pony!!
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 7:48 am
But gary you have me!!
Sissy said,
April 24, 2007 at 8:18 am
Get a room.
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 8:27 am
jealousy does not become you sissy.
frenchie said,
April 24, 2007 at 8:30 am
no bratz here. my kids weren’t allowed to have fad toys. Actually they didn’t have many toys at all. Danielle didn’t play dolls. She had some. She was more into art and crafts. She liked things that challenged her mind. Ryan the only toys he ever played with were dinosaurs. I refuse to waste my hard earned money on superficial things, that just get tossed into the bottom of the toy box.
I absolutely hate Mc Donald’s kids toys. I couldn’t wait until my kids were old enough to eat a regular size meal.
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 9:08 am
I guess team Luongo is sleeping in today.
too bad i could not.
I hate mc d’s toys too. with the exception of the limited edition match box light up cars. they were cool.
Gary said,
April 24, 2007 at 9:16 am
I’m going to buy my son a whore pony.
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 9:18 am
thats is good, it will make him more sensitive and also realize that all women should be trated like whores. those people at bratz Inc are genius
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 9:24 am
Team Luongo was burning the midnight oil, Spankdex. Every child should have a whore pony. When I was a little girl, I’d wish on a star: “Please, please let me have a whore pony for my birthday.” I’m still bitter.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 9:24 am
They didn’t make My Pretty Whore Pony when I was a child.
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 9:32 am
I am imagining what a “my pretty whore pony” might look like. I am thinking, four legged fish nets and spikey horse shoes.
buring the midnight oil eh?? “i” know what you were doing heather. you naughty little pony.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 9:37 am
“Spiky horse shoes.” Ba ha ha ha! Freaking horse-tramp.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 9:38 am
You know me: I wear my spiky horse shoes at night. They’re like Sunglasses at Night, but for whores.
julieluongo said,
April 24, 2007 at 9:57 am
I had tons of Barbies. And I watched lots of cartoons. And I played with toys with little pieces and put them in my mouth.
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 9:59 am
barbies. oral fixation. cartoon watcher. tramp.
hahahaha kidding
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:02 am
Did Barbie ever manage to keep her clothes on? If I recall, Barbie was in a perennial state of half-undress. I’d find her with no pants here, totally nude there. Barbie kind of a nudist at my house. And Ken was always out with his guy “friends”.
kc said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:03 am
my childhood was spent within the frame of reference of my toys. i lived and breathed these characters…
first it was Star Wars.
then it was He Man.
then it was G.I. Joe
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:04 am
“Barbie kind of a nudist” = “Barbie WAS kind of a nudist”. I’m starting a new movement to eliminate verbs. Fascist punk-ass words.
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:06 am
I had a barbie that had tan lines and her legs bent too.
so i would take off her bikini all the time to prove that she did indeed tan. i did not play wth KC’s above mentioned toys but only because they were not made available to me.
I had a snoopy snow cone maker that was maybe the coolest thing EVER.
I think i lostly played in the dirt. sissy and i have discussed this and neither of us can remember much in the toy department in our house. i think our mom possibly drank our toy fund.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:08 am
Aren’t drunk moms the best?
Sissy said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:08 am
My Pretty Pony does make a whore pony. Spanky bought it for my four-year-old. Spikey pumps and all.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:09 am
I had a pool cabana set for Barbie with teeny-tiny plastic pitchers and glasses and everything, all told probably 100 teeny-tiny pieces to keep track of. My aunt gave it to me. I think my mom quit talking to her after that.
julieluongo said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:09 am
Barbie was a vehicle for epic stories and the cartoons were models for humor. Barbie was trickster in my playroom.
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:10 am
yep i did…she looks like a new orleans caberet dancer…very classy of spanky indeed.
Sissy said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:10 am
My middle girl had to make a church out of a cardboard box. It was up to her what she used for materials. She made pews out of clay and everything else was made of shrinky dinks. On the morning the project was due, I peeked inside the box to see naked polly pockets sitting in church.
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:12 am
my cousin had the much coveted barbie penthouse. i wanted that thing so bad. it had A WORKING ELEVATOR. and she also had all the play dough monster house sets and a POWER WHEELS all i wanted in my life was a fucking power wheels.
did i get one? nooooooooooooo. did i ever get a new bike? noooooooooooooooooooooo
am i bitter?
a little.
julieluongo said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:13 am
Barbie is different now. Her legs and arms move better. Her hair is easier to brush. Her waist is thicker and her boobs are smaller. She’s much improved.
Sissy said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:16 am
Drunk moms kick barbie whore ass.
KC, I LOVED star wars as a kid. Had all the action figures. I used my mom’s house plants for planets. She hated that.
I have two friends who have sons who are spoiled rotten with the star wars paraphanalia. Both boys are four. I have requested numerous playdates with these boys with the anticipation of some star wars play. But my friends think I am kidding. I’m not! I want to play star wars and I have a house full of girls who just don’t get it!!!!
Sissy said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:18 am
LOL! Here’s what funny about that power wheels that our cousin had. After it was all beat up and the engine had burnt out, our cousin gave it to Spank!!! It was like Heather being slapped in the face with a whore pony!
julieluongo said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:19 am
I had the townhouse. We had two of them, actually. Two campers. Two tents. Two Sunshine Family houses. Cars. A scooter. We had a Tonka truck, which was Barbie’s SUV. My sister and I won it for selling the most candy for the school fundraiser. We combined our sales onto one sheet to win.
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:23 am
i vaguely remeber playing in moms plants, but the beatings we received for said playing are quite vivid.
yes, i got the dirty broken powerwheels.
my parents sucked on so many levels….i will get sad talking about it.
julieluongo said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:32 am
Noooo. Spanky, don’t get sad about your childhood. You might have had crap parents, but they probably did the best they could given their capabilities at the time. Sensitive people have the worst time as children. But look how nice it is to be a sensitive adult. Wait, scratch that.
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:45 am
i dont that I am sad…but deep down….i still want the power wheels. bad.
i dont know if my parents truely understood then or even now…what it was to be a kid. maybe I as a parent now…dont get it either. When i was little i did not even know what a toy store was…had no idea where the toys came from.
and yeah i was sensetive but i tried to act tuff. still do. not very sucessfuly though.
but i had a good time as a kid in other ways. we were not closely supervised and the hi jinks ensued
still wanting that power wheels though,.
Gary said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:50 am
what are Power Wheels?
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:50 am
OK. The Snoopy SnowCone Maker? I coveted that thing. Lusted for it. My cousins had one and I could barely stand to be at their house for love of the Snoopy. When my son was the right age – ok, he was nowhere near it – I finally snapped that thing up and made snow cones all the livelong day. Kids provide a really convenient excuse to supply yourself with the childhood you actually wanted, instead of the one you got.
And for your Leia infos, I just bought a Yoda for Ethan, so I can play with “his” R2D2. If your girls don’t get it, you MAKE them get it, Missy!
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:50 am
Spanks, you can have my Snoopy Snow Cone Maker.
Sissy said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:51 am
I love Julie. It’s just that simple. I wouldn’t change a thing about my traumatic childhood. Spank, you once called it extraordinary, and that it was. (we did get beat for putting Chewy in the fern) We handled it well and even brought a little bit of it upon ourselves.
My mom hated cats in the house. So Spanky and I tape-recorded the sound of a kitten out in the barn and then hid the recording in the house and cranked up the volume. The half-hour of watching my deranged mother flail around the house, screaming and yelling about the god-damned cat in the house was well worth the price we paid later.
Our parents did do their best. Who would I be without the spin cycle in which I grew up?
Julie, the master mind operation tonka truck is master mind.
Gary said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:52 am
are they this crap: http://www.fisher-price.com/us/powerwheels/
no kid should have those things.
Sissy said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:53 am
My girls have the most amazing invention to mankind: A home slurpee machine. And when I say slurpee – I MEAN 7-11 SLURPEES!!!!!
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:54 am
Oh, you have one. I misread that. Well, if I had a PowerWheels, you could have it.
Sissy said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:55 am
Actually, Spank can have my power wheels. They rode it once and have been digging in the dirt for worms ever since.
Sissy said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:56 am
“Julie, the master mind operation tonka truck is master mind.”
What is wrong with me…..?
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:57 am
You know what else I coveted? An EZ-Bake oven. But my prized possession was a Barbie Make-Up Head. It was just this plastic oversized bust of Barbie’s head with hair you could style and a face you could cover in lipstick, as was your wont. Loved her. Got lipstick on the carpet and lost her forever. I grieve.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:59 am
Shrinky Dinks? Yes. Fashion Plates? Yes.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 10:59 am
Princess Leia iron-on t-shirts? HELL YES!
Matt Lesoine said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:02 am
I’ll tell my story about powerwheels.
I was living near Reading in 2000-2002 and my neighbors spent most of their time getting baked. During this time they had a newborn son and tried to get good toys but obviously weren’t always successful. Meanwhile it gets to be around the middle or end of October. My friend calls me up and is like hey are you going out tonight? Now I incorrectly assumed that he meant to a bar or something. He says no, today is fall clean up day and you go all around the towns and get the “good stuff” before somebody else does. At this point in my life I had never heard of the town clean up free for all grand prix. I thought that he was joking and said sure I’ll go with you. He’ll laugh at me for believing him and then we’ll hit the bar.
Sadly I was mistaken. The streets wwere filled with 1000’s of people running and driving around, rooting through piles of trash looking for the perfect addition to their own collections. He even explained the strategy involved, like hitting the rich neighborhoods first since they throw out better stuff than the middle and low class neighborhoods. Picture vans, pick up trucks, even little hondas and hyundais loaded to excess with crap off of the sidewalk. We limited ourselves to furniture and sporting equipment (skis, golf clubs, etc) since you could sell it to play it again sports. He’s like can you believe it?!? These peopel are so rich that they throw out perfectly good stuff – hey grab those skis they’re worth like $40 at play it again.
So we have his hyundai hatch open, a dresser and an end tabel hanging out of the back, the back seat full of other shit, and a big wicker chair thing on the roof (it was one of those clamshell style sit/lay things) when he spots a power wheels truck sitting in a pile of garbage on the sidewalk. He’s like hey, I’ll grab that for my son. So what that it doesn’t work, he’ll never know. So now we have the dangerously overloaded car driven by my stoned friend, who’s half hanging out the window so he can carry the power wheels and drive with his other hand.
The funniest part? He apologized profusely because the spring clean up day is better because the people are getting rid of all their Christmas stuff. No bullshit that’s a true story.
And the power wheels truck? As of late 2005 and 4 different apartents/houses they still had it.
That was my first experience with looting the town fall cean up day. I wish I could say it was my last…
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:04 am
Yay for Matt Lesoine’s story!
Matt Lesoine said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:06 am
tabel = table
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:06 am
Rich people throw out stuff you would not believe. It chaps my ass because if they donated it to Goodwill, they could write it off and it’d still end up at Goodwill, you know? I’m sure Julie doesn’t need to get started on consumerism. But I’m saying.
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:07 am
That was hysterical! I love watching the trash mongers come out of their holes for spring clean-up. Last spring, I had an old end table out–it was missing a leg. It took approximately 10 minutes before it was gone.
Gary said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:10 am
We did basically the same thing in my town. The way I look at it, if you can actually find something useful why not? We used to call it junk day, because it was mostly junk. But once in a while you could find something good.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:11 am
Of course! It makes no sense to spend money on something that you’re just going to get rid of in a while, too. Some things have to be new. A lot don’t.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:13 am
And hello? I had a friend who would hit yard sales every weekend and buy stuff for pennies, then turn around and auction them on eBay. It constituted an entire part-time income for her. I was like, More power to ya.
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:15 am
ahhh the power wheels. i did have r2d2 underoos
i did have a riding toy called the “inch worm” and beleive me that thing went a hellin down a hill.
i did have a slip and slide, that, last year finialy died. it had to have been 22 years old. but it was the 30 footer and it was fab.
snoopy snow cone maker still reigns supreme.
i am not trying to imaging what’fall clean up day” might look like in newport. i expect not very good.
my childhood was extrordinary. and it was also filed with greedy angst…if there can be such a thing.
Sissy said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:16 am
Matt. Matt, Matt, Matt. That is every trash day in my neighborhood! Where’d you grow up? We all it trash pickin’ here and it goes down every Monday at the east end of the neighborhood and Thursdays in the west end. I think I’d make a good trash-picker-extraordinaire. But I never know what day it is and when I think of trash picking it’s usually on a Tuesday or a Friday.
Sissy said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:19 am
No Barbie head either, Heather. It was all the rage and I went without. My easy bake oven was second-hand. I was also not permitted to take dance classes with all my friends because I was an athlete and athletes don’t dance, damnit.
Sissy said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:19 am
I just wanted a tu-tu.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:21 am
I had tu-tus. I wanted the EZ Bake.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:22 am
You’re lucky you didn’t have a Barbie head. It’s much worse to have loved and lost a Barbie head, than never to have had one. It’d only have ended in tragedy.
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:23 am
i think we had a tutu…or was that a haloween costume
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:26 am
i seem to remember a tutu.
sara got a cake stuck in the ezbake oven. bad situation.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:30 am
The thing glowed, fer Pete’s sake. It screamed, “Covet me!”
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:31 am
Like little angels lived in it! Little burned up, cake-batter-scented angels! From Fisher-Price heaven! Come on!
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:32 am
Another favorite? Weeble Wobbles. Because they would wobble, but would they fall down? No. No, they wouldn’t.
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:32 am
Loved my easy bake oven, loved my barbie head–even though i cut all her hair off and tried to glue it back on, but–the absolute best toy EVER– Snoopy Sno Cone machine.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:34 am
Yes. Someone send KooKoo’s beer cozy, please.
kc said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:35 am
At the age of 8 what i wanted, more than anything else in the world, was a vacuum cleaner. Thats right, a vacuum cleaner. More specifically, I wanted a vacuum cleaner motor. Because you see, a vacuum cleaner motor was the main component to building a Hovercraft, as seen in the back page advertisements of Boy’s Life Magazine.
Apparently, vacum cleaners were a bit more difficult to come by in those days, so i never got one.
UNTIL, at the age of 28, i decided i was going to build it with my 5 year old friend, Mitchell. (Thats right, I’m friends with a 5 yr. old. For those of you that actually know me, I’m sure that does not come as much of a surprise.)
Here, I wrote about it:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=2373270&blogID=32220464&Mytoken=6774DB18-EDB4-47F6-B7BFD99CC370973944188170
(sorry its not a link, i’m feeling lazy today)
BUT, we only got about 1/3 of the way complete and Katrina ruined what we had made, and forced me to leave my little friend.
kc said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:36 am
or maybe it IS a link. oops. not a very pretty one though.
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:36 am
fist i have to revisit barbie…why did the ken doll have a lump of trinkie in the crotch?
second….my friend sherri b once told me that her mom found her brother and his cousin under her bed…hearing the conversation “it wont fit…” “push it harder”
she screamed, they both jumped up and two weebles flew out of their hinees.
best story ever with the exception of how she lost her virginity.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:37 am
KC, rebuild! Rebuild!
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:38 am
Weebles in the hiney? Wow.
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:39 am
I am sure we have a vaccum at our house that my mother refuses to throw away. i will investigate. i am entralled with a hovercraft.
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:40 am
I know weebles in the hinee…still laughing at the visual…remind me to tell you virginity story at lunch.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:41 am
I just spit out some water onto the computer screen. Heinie weebles? OMG. I guess they do fall down. Oh, poor, victimized Weebles! They hardly saw it coming.
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:42 am
I had the weebles McDonalds–that thing kicked butt, oh weait, no pun intended.
spangery said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:43 am
lol
spankenheimer said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:44 am
anther thing i was refused. the mcdonalds play set. wutta pisser
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:45 am
Sorry Spanks–I am fairly confident it is still in my mother’s basement. I will bring it in for you.
spankenheimer said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:46 am
Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
this is a most exceelent turn of events.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:47 am
Hang out long enough, and it’s all okay.
julieluongo said,
April 24, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Matt:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dumpster_diving
Saranne:
http://www.dumpsterdivers.org/
Oh, and I agree, the Tonka scam was a mastermind plan. Well, it was a mastermind plan if you didn’t mind sharing with your sister, which I didn’t. We were one (particularly when it came to besting our peers for a Tonka truck).
Sissy said,
April 24, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Julie! I love it! I’m sending the link to my husband. I want to join. Yesterday! I have a thing for trunks, all of which I trash picked. I also trash picked a vintage 1967 Peg Perego pram when my youngest was a baby. It looked like this one:
http://cgi.ebay.com/Antique-Vintage-Baby-Carriage-Pram-Stroller-Peg-Perego_W0QQitemZ160108119466QQihZ006QQcategoryZ117037QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
Did anyone have the glow-in-the-dark weeble? He was the best. I also liked the Sesame Street little people town thingie. We didn’t have it but my dentist office did. I loved little people. I had the house, the plane, the school, the ferris wheel and the merry go round. My little people were wooden.
Big wheels were a hot item in my day. Do kids ride big wheels anymore? There was this really cool style that ALL the kids had. (julie probably had one.) I begged my parents for it for like a year. Finally, they got me a big wheel, but it didn’t look anything like the one with the yellow adjustable seat that everyone else had. It was the classic story of my of life. While everyone was wearing nikes, I wore Stacy Adams. When 10-speeds came out, I still rode my banana seat schwin. In seventh grade, the start of junior high for me, everyone arrived the first day of school wearing mini skirts, leg-warmers and peter pan boots. My mom sent me to school that day wearing Garanimals and sadle shoes. No lie. I swear.
spankenheimer said,
April 24, 2007 at 12:43 pm
I can vouch for the garanimals. and also…i got to wear her god awful hand me downs. saddle shoes and all. my mom was and still is the jerk.
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 24, 2007 at 12:46 pm
I loved big wheels. I always wanted the adjustable seat model, but I ended up with the green machine–just not as cool as the original.
julieluongo said,
April 24, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Garanimals! Haha.
I’m not nesting, and yet I yard sale a lot. More than I’ll admit in a public forum. I got a Leatherman for a dollar!
As a kid I usually got things that were a little off, which I generally didn’t notice or care about. But when everyone had navy blue adidas book bags and my mom bought me a red one, I was a little distraught. And then I made like it was the coolest thing on the planet because I was a mastermind!
julieluongo said,
April 24, 2007 at 12:55 pm
I insisted on dressing myself. In the summer I wore a navy Danskin skirt, red bobos, and a white t-shirt. In the winter I wore a flannel button-up and jeans.
julieluongo said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:03 pm
My sister and I had the adjustable seat model, which was handy because we rode the bike together and I didn’t fall off the back. Sometimes we’d put the seat up and one person would put a foot on the space in back and push with the other foot like you would a skateboard. The sitter would tuck her feet back and steer. That method made quick work of the neighborhood. We eventually got another bigwheel, but it didn’t go as fast.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:03 pm
Holy crap! Red bobos were the first pair of shoes I ever remember looking down and seeing on my feet. LOVED THEM FOR ALL TIME. Yay!
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:06 pm
“Bobos, they make your feet feel fine.”
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:08 pm
Girl got a Leatherman for a dollar. Shoot.
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Dang son. A whole dollar?? That IS a good deal!
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:10 pm
SIT AND SPIN! SIT AND SPIN!
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:14 pm
I loved my Hippity Hop–it was my second favorite after the Snoopy Sno Cone machine.
spankenheimer said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:25 pm
i had the lemon on a rope with the hip thing that you skipped…
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:27 pm
yes! with the counter?
spankenheimer said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:31 pm
i think so.
Gary said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:41 pm
holy crap it’s childhood nostalgia overload in here.
I had a motorcycle when I was a kid.
Gary said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:43 pm
I have a friend that claims that a sit ‘n spin um… broke her hyman. But she’s been known to talk shit.
spankenheimer said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:45 pm
Good lord. what the hell was she doing to that sit and spin?
Gary said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:49 pm
I think she might of been pulling my leg – but she seemed serious about it.
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:50 pm
I am trying to imagine the logisitcs of that…….
spankenheimer said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:55 pm
what ever you figure it just cannt be from “normal use”
did she take the spinner of and then run across the room and jump on it?
does your friend also have alot of pvc piping on hand?
lots of questions are being answered for me right now.
julieluongo said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:55 pm
The hymen can break pretty easily without direct penetration. It’s fairly common for any sort of straddling-type of activity to break it. That aside, what sort of shit talking does your friend engage in if this sit and spin story might qualify. I want to know her.
spankenheimer said,
April 24, 2007 at 1:59 pm
for must of us it was known as a sit and spin…for gary’s friend…it was her first of many sit and fucks.
Gary said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:03 pm
I don’t know. I guess me thinking that she makes things up for effect is besides the point. I just don’t 100% believe her story based on my experience with her.
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:05 pm
Not sure but why would you lie about breaking your hymen?
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:06 pm
It’s Nicole!
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:08 pm
If it is, that is an awesome tale. “This one time, when I was at band camp?”
spankenheimer said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:09 pm
i dont know…this is perplexing.
Jim said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:09 pm
At least she didn’t blame the dog..
spankenheimer said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:10 pm
hmmmm
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Good point. But a sit-n-spin??
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:13 pm
She could have blamed Weeble Wobbles.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Maybe it was like when Jan Brady had the made-up boyfriend and she thought it’d sound cool to her friends.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:15 pm
She’s just home, frenching her pillow, pretending it’s a Sit and Spin. It happens.
Jim said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:19 pm
“Wow, Grandpa, thanks. Merry Christmas to you, too. *smooch* Now, can you show me how to use this thing?”
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:20 pm
I’m glad to have a new euphemism for “fuck”, I must say.
spankenheimer said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:22 pm
this is true…like when i asked sherri whow old she was when she lost her virginity…and she said “well it depends’\ and i said “on what?’
she said “well does it count if i had my underwaer on?
me=> “um do ya mean you like moved em out of the way?”
sheri ” um no like i mean there was penetration with the underwear”
me=> silence. “um well i guess so”
sherri => yeah he had his underwear on too and somehow it got in there.
me=> on the ground laughing peeing my pants.
spankenheimer said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:23 pm
i then made the announcement that it did NOT count. then i laughed some more
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:27 pm
Spank! The people you know!
Jim said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:33 pm
It doesn’t count unless you cry.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:54 pm
If a Sit and Spin broke my hymen, I’d be crying.
Matt Lesoine said,
April 24, 2007 at 2:56 pm
Mace can do that to a guy…
julieluongo said,
April 24, 2007 at 3:17 pm
My latest Freecycle post has an offer of alpaca manure. You don’t even have to dumpster dive for it.
kc said,
April 24, 2007 at 3:18 pm
to know that your hymen IS broken is making me want to cry.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 3:22 pm
I’m not sure how to take that exactly, KC, but, uh, keep on keeping on.
Gary said,
April 24, 2007 at 3:23 pm
things that make ya go huh?
Jim said,
April 24, 2007 at 3:35 pm
I personally like it when hymen are not only broken, but lost and confused…
Forever left to wander under a cloud of shame with no way to quench its thirst and wash away the bitter taste of coming up just short of reaching it’s personal goals other than kneeling and drinking with both hands from the pools of sorrow that gather in its shallow footprints…
Hold me, lil’ Hymen. Hold me.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 3:40 pm
You know what these hymens need? Booze. So they can become bitter, drunken hymenses. What is the plural of hymen already?
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 3:41 pm
It already looks plural, but it isn’t. Tricky hymen!
Jim said,
April 24, 2007 at 3:46 pm
I got a tricky hymen for my birthday once. No matter how many times I broke it – It just kept growing back.
I should have known when everyone was gathered ’round and waiting to watch me try and break it…
Gary said,
April 24, 2007 at 4:40 pm
I kind of wish I didn’t mention it now.
julieluongo said,
April 24, 2007 at 5:32 pm
I could delete your original comment and make it look like the hymen conversation was completely unprovoked. That would be sort-of funny.
Jenn said,
April 24, 2007 at 5:34 pm
“My mom hated cats in the house. So Spanky and I tape-recorded the sound of a kitten out in the barn and then hid the recording in the house and cranked up the volume. The half-hour of watching my deranged mother flail around the house, screaming and yelling about the god-damned cat in the house was well worth the price we paid later.”
This is the best story ever. I wish it was my story. I wish I had done that to my mom because it would so totally have been worth it.
Speaking of good stories, Momma, tell the Cursing Barbies one.
Jenn said,
April 24, 2007 at 5:37 pm
“she screamed, they both jumped up and two weebles flew out of their hinees.”
Oh. My. God. I just spit out lemonade.
Jenn said,
April 24, 2007 at 5:40 pm
I had Fashion Plates. I loved them. In fact, I jumped for joy when I saw my mother had actually coughed them up in the pile of crap she dumped off at my MIL’s house. (It’s a long story). I’m guessing she doesn’t know those Fashion plates sell for a minimum of $40 on eBay.
I also got back all, or rather most, of my Barbie dolls. My SIL does not allow Barbie dolls in her house, or at least she didn’t. Apparently HER sister gave one to my niece and that was acceptable, but Aunt Jenn is not allowed to buy the Barbie dolls. Possibly because she suspects that I would just go nuts and buy everything. Probably she’s right, but I’d do it for my own kids.
Jenn said,
April 24, 2007 at 5:44 pm
I do not like yard sale-ing all that much because I feel like it’s a lot of pressure, like if you don’t buy something, it’s like you’re judging the people selling the stuff. (I have issues). My husband says, “It doesn’t matter. They’re selling it. If it was that important to them, they’d keep it” but I prefer the anonymity of browsing on eBay.
julieluongo said,
April 24, 2007 at 6:06 pm
Yard sale shame! That’s so sad.
Sissy said,
April 24, 2007 at 6:38 pm
I still have my fashion plates. No lie. In the box, mint condition. All accessories, including the charcoal rubbie thingie and my original works of art. It was one of the FEW things my little sister didn’t get her paws on and ruin.
I’m wondering if Jim still has his hymen after all these years.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 6:51 pm
I am coveting all your Fashion Plates right now. I thought I was going to be a famous fashion designer. Sadly, though they had the latest bobs, my girls always came out looking like they were on Hee-Haw. Take that, 5th Avenue!
Jenn said,
April 24, 2007 at 6:55 pm
Heather, you too can own a set. Just go to eBay. Stay away from those yard sales though.
Heather said,
April 24, 2007 at 7:13 pm
I’m way too ashamed to try yard sales. With their high-pressure tactics! I can’t take it!
frenchie said,
April 24, 2007 at 8:44 pm
The only feminine thing that I had as a child was easy bake oven. I was totally Tom Boy. I played with trucks, cars and my favorite, sizzler hot wheels. you would pump up the car with a pretend gas pump and away the car went around the track. I played in the dirt and followed my dad around with my own tools.
yes saranne this is me. believe it or not. goes along with the name Krissy. just one more thing you now know about me.
Sissy said,
April 24, 2007 at 9:03 pm
You are blowing my mind. I mean, Miss Off the Rack Fashion Queen played with hot wheels? The layers just keep peeling away.
Jim said,
April 24, 2007 at 11:46 pm
Yes, Sissy. I still have it, but lost the box it ca… I can’t do it.
But, I still have all the Maple Town characters.
“I’d like to be in Maple Town. Maple Town and meeeeh..”
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 9:20 am
“Wake up! Wake up! Time to play chess!”
spankenheimer said,
April 25, 2007 at 9:22 am
Im here!!!
Where is the gang??
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 9:24 am
Gang-banging. Wasting this perfectly good hump day. “Someone’s got a case of the Hump Days…”
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 9:24 am
Hey! That’s me!
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 9:25 am
christy, will, and I drove by a yard sale on sunday. it was very shameful.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 9:26 am
Do tell.
spankenheimer said,
April 25, 2007 at 9:36 am
Yes…tell us of the personal shame you all felt…in great detail…and then Jim…if you could put a real wierd spin on it….not that you were there, but id just like to read your comments.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 9:38 am
it is I spanky…i am going to just be mysef today….which isnt as cool as my spank persona…but i dont know. i am sick of spank.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 9:47 am
You have a name? WTF?
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 10:02 am
I kNow I know…its a shock…a shameful shock…i tried to sell it at a yard sale yesterday and KC and her gang walked by and sneered at me.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 10:31 am
Hm. I will need time to adjust…
OKAY! IN WITH THE NEW!
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 10:35 am
Ok this is like pulling teeth…KC announces she want to a shameful yard sale…..AND THEN NO DETAILS….WHAT THE SHIT?
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 10:38 am
Well you know, i shared an important story about my childhood yesterday, in great detail and no one had two words to say about it.
Sissy said,
April 25, 2007 at 10:58 am
You mean the GI Joes? I heard every word. Or are you talking about the hover craft because that sounded more like a story from someone else’s childhood, namely the five year old boy. Oh, wait, no. It WAS about you…and a vaccum cleaner! See, I’m listening, KC! Do you need my expertise in childhood story analysis?
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:06 am
I said, Rebuild! Rebuild! If I’m not mistaken, that is two words, missy.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:07 am
OK. To clarify the vote, at least 3 of us are waiting to hear the yard sale shame story… *Waits patiently.*
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:08 am
We want shame! We want shame!
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:18 am
Ok. i feel like KC is using a huffy breath with her comment. I OFFERED TO STEAL MY MUM’S VACCUME FOR YOU.
I had nothing to share on the gi joe front because we didnt have any. im sure i woulda played with em.
now…quit being a sensitive beaver and tell us of the now built up to epic proportions “yard sale of shame” story.
and it better involve someone pooping themself of something horrible like that.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:25 am
Well, you can lead a yard sale shame story to water, but you can’t make it drink. What you have to do is get it some spiky horseshoes.
Jim said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:26 am
I dressed-up clothespins like KC, Christy, and Will and took them to a yard sale. I introduced them to everybody and had them take pictures of us.
When we all got home I sat us all in a circle where we sang spirtuals and scrapbooked.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:26 am
he he he apparently. I all tried to bully/guilt her into telling.
yard sale story tease is all she is.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:27 am
Jim, I am pretty sure…at this moment I love you.
You are the most wack person. who knew I wasnt the only paper cut out friend around town.
God. I dont even have words. fucking hilarious
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:28 am
Spirituals? Such as “Swing Low, Sweet Clothespin”? It brings tears to my eyes every time.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:28 am
I am jealous that you scrapbook.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:29 am
And then Jim soaped all their nipples and sent the pix to Alec Baldwin.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:30 am
I soaped my nipples last night and nothing magical happened except my kids were really confused.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:32 am
a note on how yard sale discussions go in my house
MOM : We should have a yard sale
ME: Um well go for it, its all your crap
MOm: You are a jerk and an ass.
Me: You too mom.
Mom: so we are not having a yard sale?
Me: I dont know are we?
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:32 am
I’d imagine.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:33 am
are you attempting to imagine my soapy nipples?? wahhhhhhh
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:33 am
I like that the discussion deteriorates two sentences in. Cut to the chase, I say.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:35 am
My conversation with my mother follow more of a half-hour downhill slope pattern.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:35 am
we try to avoid talking much…just use hand jestures and humming to avoid uncomfortable conversations like that.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:36 am
Maybe if the subject of yard sales didn’t fill everyone with such shame. Alas.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:37 am
true, hot shame
Sissy said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:42 am
MOM : We should have a yard sale
ME: Um well go for it, its all your crap
MOm: You are a jerk and an ass.
Me: You too mom.
Mom: so we are not having a yard sale?
Me: I dont know are we?
This is true. She’s not making it up even a little bit. It is so BC Judd Nelson.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:43 am
Aha sissy…i knew i smelled you lurking about
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:44 am
It IS Judd Nelson. I am so proud of you Jess, I am going to give you one of my earrings.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:45 am
Well, we will have to get a needle so i can pierce myself
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:49 am
Hold on, lemme get one out of my voodoo doll in my drawer. Meet me in the bathroom.
Jim said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:54 am
KC bought some earrings at the yard sale but I thought they were a bit too flashy for her.
And she was all like, “You don’t even know me, Jim. Sometimes I like to glam it up.”
Then I stripped her “clothes” off and clipped her to a passing car, ’cause like told her in McDonalds, I don’t need her sass-mouth.
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:57 am
Sweet jesus youre funny, Jim
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 11:58 am
Jim is ultra-deluxe.
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:00 pm
most definitely
Jim said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Jim doesn’t think he deserves complements and will now go on a crusade get get them all taken back with a slap and a free drink.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:10 pm
Jim refers to himself in the third person. Fancy!
Jim said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:21 pm
It’s slightly less-fancy when you’re the department store associate that has the mis-fourtune of taking my returns.
“Jim is very unhappy with the quality of the garments that Jim purchased. Lil’ Will here couldn’t even make it the whole afternoon with out losing a button. Jim wants you to apologize to Will… Jim’s waiting.”
Sissy said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:22 pm
Jim, if you want, I can say mean things to you and we can fight for 20 or so comments and then you can call me a clam and tell me to take my chick power somewhere else, but no forget it, YOU’LL go somewhere else and then we can all stalk you where ever it is you go….I mean, as an alternative to the compliments and all.
Note: Complement is a quantity to make something complete. Compliment is an expression of admiration or a flattering remark.
And now that I’m finished offering offenses and editing your use of the English language, I want to add that you are beyond funny as shit. Sharp. Deliberate. Cured to a state of hilarity to which I’ve never stood witness. I am honored to be in your presence. Someday I will look back and say, “I knew Jim, you know, the guy with the clothespin friends who back-sassed him in a McDonald’s.”
Sissy said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:23 pm
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! “Jim’s waiting…”
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:25 pm
Methinks Jim just landed in Hef’s grotto by accident. “Hello, ladies…”
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:26 pm
And I’m already stalking Jim, so we’re covered.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Stalking Mike and KC got old.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:32 pm
“Then I stripped her “clothes” off and clipped her to a passing car, ’cause like told her in McDonalds, I don’t need her sass-mouth.”
and also jims waiting.
and for the record it was worth getting yelled at in front of my department for laughing so loud.
is jim on meds? if so i d like some
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:33 pm
I just read what i wrote and i all act like work for the state department…wht a the fuck
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Narc.
Sissy said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:35 pm
“wht a the fuck” ??????????
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:35 pm
She’s Italian.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:36 pm
“Sassa moutha!”
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:44 pm
Jess is type challenged.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:52 pm
amoung other things.
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:53 pm
i just wanted 300.
Gary said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:55 pm
I thought I was supposed to be the grouchy mean one here?
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:55 pm
heather, somehow i doubt stalking mike hasn’t gotten old.
just a guess, just shootin from the hip.
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:56 pm
heather, somehow i doubt stalking mike has gotten old.
just a guess, just shootin from the hip.
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:56 pm
FUCK! I hit stop god damn it. anyway, notice the subtle difference.
Sissy said,
April 25, 2007 at 12:59 pm
Cool! It’s Highlights by KC. Which of the words does not match?
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:05 pm
Sissy, I LIKE YOUR ATTITUDE. high-five.
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:07 pm
gary, we can be grouchy and mean together. theres enough room i think.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:08 pm
Hm. Well. I’m working on it.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:10 pm
everyone but Jim…i like him wierd and in the third person
Jim said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Hey, If I’m “in” the third person, then what are the first and second person doing? Do they like to watch?
I like the idea of two people being grouchy and mean together for all of eternity.
I just have to believe there’s enough room. KC, I hope both you and Gary can find the room, together… I wish that for you.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:38 pm
Id say they are watching wrestling
julieluongo said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:38 pm
I’m stalkable. Who’s stalking me? Well, besides that guy who really did stalk me. Wait a sec, that wasn’t fun at all.
Matt Lesoine said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:43 pm
Goofus and Gallant kick ass!
And trust me, it’s a lot harder to refer to yourself in the third person than it appears. Way back when a bunch of us tried for awhile (we were honing our professional wrestling skills, alright?) and it only lasted a day. You really have to concentrate to do that.
Grouchy and mean are good, but the whole acting sickening sweet to people you know hate you is a better one. You can almost watch their skin crawling…
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:43 pm
My ex was a stalker. He destroyed a teddy bear, threw the stuffing all over the inside of my car and held a nasty note on my steering wheel with a pocket knife–that wasnt very fun.
Matt Lesoine said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:44 pm
BTW I gave up stalking you when you stopped returning my calls.
No wait, I mean that must have been some other crazy guy.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:44 pm
eeeeeeeeeeee
Matt Lesoine said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:46 pm
along with a, i, o, u, and sometimes y are vowels…
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:52 pm
Goofus and Gallant have nothing on that family of wooden people. Sheeit. I had a guy stab holes into a picture of me with a pair of scissors and leave it on my mom’s bed. That was hot.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:54 pm
matt…are you getting sass mouthy with me?? Because you know what Jim will do to you, dontcha?? yeah, better simmer down now ole matty…
all smart face giving me the vowel crap…..
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Your mom’s bed?? Twisted.
julieluongo said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:56 pm
Matt, as much fun we had, talk of the crack whore was too depressing. Well, first it amused me, then it made me angry, which led to heavy drinking, which then made me depressed and finally, I brought other people down. Last time I saw Bena she told me I depressed her when we hung out. And that’s when you know it’s time to duck out. When you drag a party girl down. Bleak.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:57 pm
I have to say, speaking from experience…it is much more fun stalking than being stalked. I was a terrible stalker. often times i was so uncovert id just walk right up to the person and let em know i was stalking them…just so they would not freak when they saw me 15 times a day.
i have fun stalking…i think ill stalk julie. it is more fun when they try to hide…so run julie hide…..
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 1:58 pm
Am “I” the crack whore? because that is my name in some circles
julieluongo said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:04 pm
No, Jess, you’re not a crack whore. Crack whores smoke crack and sleep with your boyfriend.
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:05 pm
somene recently said to me”
“Yeah, you kind of transitioned from stalker to friend…”
i took that as a GREAT compliment, thats one of my talents.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:06 pm
Ouch. Sleeping with your boyfriend is the uncoolest.
julieluongo said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Hahahaha. Excellent talent. One of my special talents is to find great parking spots. Alas, my other special talent is to always select the slowest grocery store line. I used to get in the slowest toll booth lane as well until EZPass broke the curse.
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:08 pm
totally uncool.
Jim said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Wow, KC. That’s like, the Holy Grail of stalking.
I always thought “Crack Whore” meant you were a top notch whore.
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:10 pm
that seems like a pretty useless talent, jules, in light of the fact that you dont have a car.
I ALWAYS pick the wrong line, regarless of the venue, regardless of the time of day…
IT IS MY CURSE.
julieluongo said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:12 pm
Bah. I don’t blame the crack whore. She didn’t know about me. And even if she did, whatever. We weren’t going to get married. It’s just that whore goes so well with crack. It’s her default nickname.
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:14 pm
“I always thought “Crack Whore” meant you were a top notch whore.”
yes Jim you are correct…which is why in this particular instance…the “crack whore ” si fucking the boyfriend.
insert cat hissing noises.
so yeah im the crack whore but im not the boyfriend fucker. thats my cousin…
Christy said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Jim – Don’t let these negative nellies tell you otherwise – “Crack Whore” does mean top notch whore.
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:17 pm
“negative nellie”
thats so funny, and not only because its true, but also because of who said it.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:18 pm
It’s like “Ace Whore” with crack: “World’s Best Whore!” The trophy? Syphillis!
Jim said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:26 pm
Julie’s right. There’s quite enough blame floating around this world without us dragging our good name beloved crack whores through the mud.
{(Crack + Whore)*(Zero Gag Reflex + No Teeth)} = Happy Wiener
julieluongo said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:26 pm
My parking luck happens when I’m a passenger, too. The difficulty is in convincing the driver to head toward the good spots. Most people have bad parking luck, so they take what they can get.
Christy said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:27 pm
A stellar whore doesn’t contract disease – those are the crappy bargain brand whores you’re thinking of.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Ah, yes. The “yard sale whores” as it were.
Matt Lesoine said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Well, she (Sabine, not the crack whore) asks me if I ever hear from you and when we’re going to get together or whatever. So I guess you can take it however you want but I know she’d love to get together and I would too. But whatever….
And in this case the term “crack whore” was coined due to the fact that the whore was on crack, not because she was the best whore. Although I guess that “could” technically be possible. But I highly doubt it. I envision the best whore as a magical, mythical creature that truly only exists in my mind. Which, incidentally, is good enough to get the job done for me…
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:31 pm
You have to hang out at more Trash Days.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:32 pm
“I envision the best whore as a magical, mythical creature that truly only exists in my mind.”
UNIWHORE!
Matt Lesoine said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Yard sale whores. Hilarious. I guess they’re the type that suck you off for a broken lamp and a bunch of tupperware lids?
julieluongo said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:34 pm
But the crack whore really isn’t a whore. She was just a crack user who started dating a guy who was interested in her.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:34 pm
I’m thinking. Because the lids would never come with the bowls. The bowls are at a totally different yard.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:36 pm
“Whore in bowl. Back in bowl.”
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:36 pm
matt, heather..lol…tupperware…uniwhore. uberwhore.
crack whore sucker
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:37 pm
What is that, Tourette’s you have?
Jessica said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:38 pm
tupper whore
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:40 pm
The Uniwhore is like a Liger. Except hornier.
julieluongo said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:40 pm
Tupperwhore! And you’ve hit on the perfect word for Matt’s fantasy whore.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Uber-whore sounds scary. Like a very existential whore with a great will to power. And doin’ it.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:43 pm
“I am the Uber-Whore! God is dead!”
Matt Lesoine said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:44 pm
For the first time in a long time, I’m actually inspired by the positive vibes I’m getting here. Today the term “crack whore” evolved to the point of becoming the ultimate, #1, best in the west whore. Now everyday across America, nay the WORLD women can aspire to become a crack whore. Guys sitting around watching football will argue that THEIR girl is the crack whore. It’s like a status symbol. Akin to being a gold medalist, or oscar/grammy/emmy/whatever winner. Finally women are expected and even encouraged to become a crack whore. There can be elite “finishing” schools to train crack whores, much like the special forces or other elite groups. Hooray for the crack whore, hooray!
Matt Lesoine said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:46 pm
Which one is the perfect word for my fantasy whore???
Jim said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:53 pm
I would argue that the “uni-whore” doesn’t qualify as a crack whore because it’s a naturally occuring whore, as opposed to the difficult training regimen of a well supplied team of crack whores.
I once set out to steal the horn of a uni-whore, but instead it was she who stole my heart.
julieluongo said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:54 pm
Tupperwhore was my favorite word.
julieluongo said,
April 25, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Oh, and the bad vibes weren’t anyone’s fault. There was a big global PMS going on – probably some atmospheric pressure thing. People were getting shot, crack whores were getting slapped, and blog commenters were cranky round the world.
Jim said,
April 25, 2007 at 3:00 pm
There’s nothing quite like the feeling of freshness you get when you open up Tupperwhore.
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 3:02 pm
no, im cranky. wheres my report?!
Jim said,
April 25, 2007 at 3:04 pm
The bad vibes sre just as important as the good vibes because they both come together and make lil’ baby vibes.
Some of those vibes don’t grow-up as pretty as the other vibes and they require the sevices of … you guessed it!
See, it all comes full-circle in the end.
Jim said,
April 25, 2007 at 3:06 pm
That comment would have been soooo much cooler if KC did’t ruin it.
Ruiner.
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 3:14 pm
I’ve been called worse.
Jim said,
April 25, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Yeah, by your mom – and she was trying to be nice.
My shirt and I would like that free drink now, please.
julieluongo said,
April 25, 2007 at 3:20 pm
KC, your report isn’t even close to being started. My ears are taking a break from music so I can obsessively sing the same song in my head over and over.
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 3:24 pm
then i’m cutting you off.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 3:24 pm
A “naturally occurring whore.” Man. We have dropped some serious whore science in here today.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 3:26 pm
The loss of freshness in a Tupperwhore can be avoided with regular “burping”.
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 3:29 pm
thats like taking a break from oxygen… thats just crazy talk.
julieluongo said,
April 25, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Cut me off? That’s not cool.
Sissy said,
April 25, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Thank you, KC. High five right back attcha.
Jim said,
April 25, 2007 at 3:46 pm
Gather the ladies ’round and let’s talk about the proper way to burp you new tupperwhore.
Just put your thumb on the lil’ button right hyah, and push down like so. If your tupperwhore can’t find a proper “seal”, you may need to pull up the lid a bit like this right heyah…
Cut you off, did she? – Yipes!
Sissy said,
April 25, 2007 at 3:56 pm
“I once set out to steal the horn of a uni-whore, but instead it was she who stole my heart.”
Thanks to Jim, I can no longer allow myself the pleasure of consuming fluids and blogging at the same time. Lipton through the nose just isn’t conducive to the needs of my computer screen.
Sissy said,
April 25, 2007 at 4:01 pm
I can never get my tupperwhores to stay fresh. Thanks Jim! Thanks Heather! This has turned out to be a great day!
Miss McGrouchypants, and you know who you are…..grouch away lady! I take every and all opportunity to be miserable and take great pleasure when others do the same.
Jim, what do you drink in the graveyard every morning? I think KC needs some.
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 4:03 pm
i second that.
Jim said,
April 25, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Honestly, I’m really tried of “me”.
Why can’t I just shut up? Does everything have to be a one-liner or an elaborate play on words with me? Why can’t I just go away? Don’t I care about anything important?
Sorry, late afternoon crash…
julieluongo said,
April 25, 2007 at 4:08 pm
Cut me off and I’ll … I’ll … well, I probably won’t think it has anything to do with me even though you told me it did.
julieluongo said,
April 25, 2007 at 4:12 pm
Oh, I got distracted and didn’t refresh the page and now I’m all behind on the comments. We’ve moved on to late afternoon crashes and grouchypants. I’m there. I can’t decide how to remedy it. I just complained on the phone to my friend. That didn’t work. I was going to hike, but it’s raining. Caffeine? A snack? A nap? More work? Dunno.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 4:19 pm
Girl, you need some crack.
julieluongo said,
April 25, 2007 at 4:35 pm
Godrex crack.
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 4:47 pm
music.
kc said,
April 25, 2007 at 4:47 pm
and stop singing “Rally” in your head…
youre going to ruin it.
Gary said,
April 25, 2007 at 5:09 pm
I just showered so…
Sissy said,
April 25, 2007 at 5:36 pm
And?
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 5:38 pm
His crack is clean.
Gary said,
April 25, 2007 at 5:40 pm
Thank you Heather – please stick around and be my interpreter.
Heather said,
April 25, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Hm. Is there Tupperware in it for me?
Jenn said,
April 26, 2007 at 1:24 am
Yeah, back to the tupperware. Listen, I did not know that you could sell bowls and lids separately at yardsales, but I am too ashamed to actually go to one to see for myself. However, I am in possession of a variety of un matched lids and bowls, though not all of them tupperware. The funny thing is, I don’t know how all those parts and pieces got lost because I am so OCD about my things. Mostly, I blame it on my husband and attribute those pieces to his pre-marriage days.
My MIL likes ghetto tupperware – as in she saves the plastic containers from margarine (ew), cottage cheese and other stuff, then uses it to pack up leftovers. I think she maybe only has 2 or 3 real pieces of tupperware, and the rest is ghetto tupperware.
I can totally see this turning into a huge discussion over the merits of tupperware v. rubbermaid, disposable containers (and then we get into gladware, ziploc and store brand), tupperware v. baggies, plastic v. glass containers, ghetto tupperware, whether or not you can legally beat your husband for not bringing tupperware home or leaving said tupperware in the car for a week until it REALLY stinks (I vote for yes on that one). Or maybe that’s just a sick little fantasy of mine.
Wow I have too much time on my hands.
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 6:27 am
This was a most awesome conversation to come in on at 6 am. I really enjoyed. it is really the only reason i arrive to work at all. it is really amusing to see the general tom foolery that goes on after i depart in the afternoon.
Jim…dont ever tire of yourself, i never tire of you
Matt…i am glad the whore chat did you good. I myself am a retired crack whore but I still sometimes attend the quarterly meetings. I was treasurer of crackwhores inc for 2 terms. it is a mighty organization.
KC…you say you are grumpy, and I agree. I suggest you whore around a little to raise your spirits. it always works for me.
Sissy….no drinkie, no eatie when reading. i aspirated on pepsi last week. badddd burnie nose
Jenn….or Jen..whichever…lids and containers that do not match (and they never do in my house) cause me bouts of hysteria. so much so that i cannot elaborate. i usually just throw everything out and start over
julie….I dont know exactly why you have this blog, but it has provided me a much needed place to explore just how wacky I am. and so i thank you. And while you may not have received the vast number of Cracwhories (the academy of crackwhore awards)…today i bestow upon you the “bloggie” for your continued brilliance in allowing free speech, numerous catfights, and dirtytalk in its highest form.
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 6:30 am
also a special mention to gary and heather, lifetime achievement awards go to heather for making me laugh harder than i have in a long time, and for “knowing” what single mom life is like. and to gary…for pissing me off more than anyone has in a long time and then turning me on with his snide remarks…i commend you..
Gary said,
April 26, 2007 at 7:54 am
holy crap you’re in love with me
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 8:16 am
sigh…..i know…it is maddening
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 8:17 am
where is heather…blodtress ot the stars
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 9:42 am
Ta-da! Je suis arrivee, mes bebes!
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 9:46 am
Now where’s the crack?
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 9:50 am
We love you, too, Artist Formerly Known As Spank.
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 9:51 am
POLL: How many of us have literally spit out stuff from the laughing here? I have. In fact, I need to put something in my face right now so I can spit it out in a while.
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 10:04 am
I always keep a bagel close by to stuff in my mouth right before i start reading. looks like a giant hairball flying out my mouth when i start choke/laughing. people love a good choke session here at work
Gary said,
April 26, 2007 at 10:11 am
I haven’t found anything THAT funny. But then again I’m dead inside.
Heather’s trying to turn me on today. I thought that was Jessica’s job?
Jenn said,
April 26, 2007 at 10:17 am
400
Jenn said,
April 26, 2007 at 10:19 am
What can I say? I came on at an opportune time.
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 10:20 am
I spit at Jessica’s stories usually, especially Rita and the Heinie Weebles (the name of my solo project), and of course, the spiky horseshoes. Also, Jim’s sass-mouth diatribe. Anyone who can cuss people out like a Baldwin gets my vote. In fact, let’s coin a new verb: to “Alec”.
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 10:21 am
“Quit Aleccing all up in my brain!”
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 10:27 am
What is this crap that heather is turning you on. Ill have none of that….it is myyyyyy job.
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 10:32 am
Yeah. There is no outsourcing here.
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 10:58 am
ACTUALLY, i dont know if i actually turn him on or not. im a crackwhorwe not a flirty tease.
Gary said,
April 26, 2007 at 11:23 am
crackwhores turn me on – mainly because they tend to not have teeth.
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 11:26 am
well, i am missing some teeth, so i am guessing you are ready to rock on that note
Gary said,
April 26, 2007 at 11:29 am
I like chicks with dentures.
Christy said,
April 26, 2007 at 11:30 am
I masturbate to the image of a non descript man fucking a whore mouth so hard that the drug weakened teeth break loose, slide down her throat and gag her.
That’s just me.
kc said,
April 26, 2007 at 11:31 am
why? because they can take them out?
kc said,
April 26, 2007 at 11:32 am
you have that fantacy too? holy shit.
Gary said,
April 26, 2007 at 11:32 am
Christy wins!
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 11:34 am
Christy does win. my throat hurts a little just thinking of those rotting decaying teeth sliding down it
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 11:35 am
i dont have dentures..i have a few back teeth that were rebelling…so i kicked em out of the house. letting the others know their fate should they choose to rebel
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 11:39 am
Christy, you won! Congratulations!
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 11:39 am
Your prize? Crack.
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 11:42 am
I have an image of Tyrone Biggums in my head right now. Awesome.
Gary said,
April 26, 2007 at 11:43 am
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 11:43 am
I bet he’d keep his crack in Tupperware he got at a yard sale.
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 11:52 am
Gary…wutta tease…you know i cant acess utube at work?
kc said,
April 26, 2007 at 12:32 pm
its a homemade video for Frank Zappa’s “Baby, take your teeth out”.
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 12:44 pm
LOL damn. id wanna see that
Gary said,
April 26, 2007 at 12:53 pm
it’s not all that great
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 1:07 pm
not as great as you Gary
kc said,
April 26, 2007 at 1:12 pm
vomit.
Gary said,
April 26, 2007 at 1:19 pm
It’s definitely greater than KC vomit.
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 1:20 pm
Ive heard KC vomit is a little tangy.
lol
im sorry. maybe this was more fun when I had to go to therapy because my anger for gary was so great. now all im filled with is love.
kc said,
April 26, 2007 at 1:43 pm
oh, we’re calling it his “love” now, are we?!…
such a nice euphamism.
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 1:44 pm
She means his “essence”. Ha ha ha ha.
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 26, 2007 at 1:47 pm
Man musk…..
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 1:47 pm
LOl right. essence of gary
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 1:53 pm
DOODS, I just heard the best story about a local cop who says “penty” instead of “penny” and pronounces the CH in “archives”. He doesn’t arrest people for DUIs because it’s too much paperwork and he doesn’t mind litterers because “it gives the big dummies something to pick up on the weekends.” His fiancee doesn’t know what an MP3 player is. One day, my friend, not wanting the girl to feel stupid, tried to explain an MP3 player like this, “I don’t know. It’s this thing that you hook up to the computer and then the music gets in there. Weird, huh?” The fiancee also didn’t know what the stock market was. And when her husband was asked to explain it to her, he felt confident enough in his knowledge to hold forth: “See, baby, it’s some kind of place where they buy and sell things and there’s a bell.”
His fiancee thinks he’s some kind of genius. That’s love, my babies.
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Love in the land of nekkid crack-smokin’.
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 26, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Arch-ives. Classic.
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 2:06 pm
The Word of the Day for April 26, 2007 is:
wowser • \WOW-zer\ • noun, chiefly Australian
: an obtrusively puritanical person
Example Sentence:
“I’m no wowser, but I draw the line at abusive, foul-mouthed drunks.” (Mike Smithson, [South Australia] Sunday Mail, July 2, 2006)
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 2:07 pm
is wowser a goody two shoes? is anyone in here a closet wowser
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Sorry. I just got back from lunch having heard that and I needed to tell it.
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 2:09 pm
It’s not as interesting as man-musk.
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 2:10 pm
I’ve never heard “wowser” before. Maybe it’s like “teetotaller”.
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Wait. Did I interrupt some hot porn action in here? SOMEONE HAS TO LEAVE A TIE ON THE DOORKNOB! Come on! At least put that one hanging-down lightbulb on.
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 2:25 pm
i love garys hot musk balls on my face. while i play with my barbies
Jessica said,
April 26, 2007 at 2:27 pm
i lick balls a plenty
Gary said,
April 26, 2007 at 2:43 pm
“now all im filled with is love.”
I thought you were filled with white hot shame. Or your mouth was filled with something that you spit out. I can never remember.
kc said,
April 26, 2007 at 2:51 pm
theres a difference?
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 26, 2007 at 2:54 pm
I always figured Jess to be a swallower
kc said,
April 26, 2007 at 2:57 pm
vomit again.
Christy said,
April 26, 2007 at 3:10 pm
I think hot shame is a good term for it.
Hot shame is wonderful until it rolls down my leg an hour or so after we meet.
I love hot shame.
KooKoojennipoo said,
April 26, 2007 at 3:16 pm
I agree. Nothing like a shot of hot shame on your face every now and then.
kc said,
April 26, 2007 at 3:22 pm
pearl necklace, eh Christy.
julieluongo said,
April 26, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Ahem. Wow, this is so unexpected. I’d like to thank Jessica for my Bloggie. It’s just so … well, I’m honored. But really it’s not about me. This is for everyone who makes the Julie Luongo blog a fun place to visit. I think Jessica put it best when she mentioned the free speech, catfights, and dirty talk in its highest form because that’s truly what it’s all about. I think James Joyce would be proud. Lastly, I have to thank Bob. Through him, all things are possible.
Gary said,
April 26, 2007 at 3:34 pm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2067223.stm
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 3:35 pm
That’s only true when it gets up in your brain.
Christy said,
April 26, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Well that’s a happy one – how about a sad one:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/6161691.stm
Can you imagine having your cock size analyzed on BBC?
Christy said,
April 26, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Heather – That’s what skull fucking is for.
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Hee hee.
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 3:40 pm
Note: Anyone who has not done so, please refer to “Vagina Power” on Gary’s blog. It’s the best thing you’ll ever see. Ever.
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 3:42 pm
It’s better than hobo jizz! Wait. What?
Christy said,
April 26, 2007 at 4:12 pm
Nothing is better than hobo tonic. They’re poached for it..
Heather said,
April 26, 2007 at 4:19 pm
“MAGICAL HOBO TONIC! For the Uniwhore in all of us. Apply nightly.”
kc said,
April 26, 2007 at 4:31 pm
I’m leaving.
Gary said,
April 26, 2007 at 7:28 pm
hehehehe
actually the title is “Some good advice for the ladies”
spank said,
April 27, 2007 at 6:35 am
Great speech julie….for some reason you blog eats jessica comments so i am reverting to spank
why did KC leave?
and I do not swallow, not anymore. had tonsils removed and ever since then bad gagging situation. thus the toothbrushing gagging situation
spank said,
April 27, 2007 at 6:41 am
“Hot shame is wonderful until it rolls down my leg an hour or so after we meet.”
christy….are you related to Jim because you are so wrong
Seeing Red, Right, and Blue « Julie Luongo said,
May 3, 2007 at 3:01 pm
[...] Are American’s chanting, “Stay the course?” or “No blood for oil?” I know they’re chanting, “shame on you,” but that’s not being reported. The first thing a soldier says when asked “What [...]
Timewaster said,
August 14, 2007 at 7:29 pm
What’s the protest about? I feel stupid for watching.
julieluongo said,
August 14, 2007 at 7:59 pm
They are protesting the deployment of a Ft. Lewis-based Stryker brigade deploying to Iraq as part of the US escalation of the conflict.