“Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world.” -Arthur Schopenhauer
I just changed my perspective slightly and I’ve got to tell you, it’s a good trick. I can breathe. I didn’t realize I’d stopped.
I highly recommend both breathing and change. Go on. Try it. Shifting your perspective doesn’t have to come from dramatic change. You can mix it up with just the slightest modification to your normal routine. Here are some ideas that will work and require little commitment:
- Drive a different way to work.
- Listen to your MP3 player while you grocery shop.
- Say hello to someone on the street.
- Eat breakfast before you shower.
- Read a book before you go to bed.
- Sing in the shower.
- Call a friend.
- Laugh when you want to scream.
- Tell a funny story.
- Tell it again.
- Make a paper airplane.
I don’t care what it is, just do something differently today. Please. I’m begging you. This is important. I’m sure it is. Oxygen is good.
[The art is by Nicoletta Tomas, who's brilliant. Her bio says that she didn't start painting until she was 27 and that she's self taught. Now, that's a dramatic change. Impressive work, too. I like her pastel rooftops and city scenes, but there's something for everyone in her collection. You like Gustav Klimt? You'll like her Lovers. Trust me.]
spanky said,
March 12, 2007 at 5:57 am
Since I am usually first awake in this crowd it is usually my honor to place the first comment. I do not do this lightly. all subsequent comments are light though. Anyway, i like it, although i do not always follow it. my father used to inform me that i needed an “attitude adjustment” really meaning knock it off before i knock it out of you. not a violent man, he always gave the option of an “adjustment” first. having said that, it always made me mad because i was a teenager and a loud mouth, know it all, gotta be my way, kinda kid. (not alot has changed)
anyway i did not get how to just “adjust” my poor outlook on my tragic teenage life.
but apparently it is simple. and it is just me that makes it difficult. which is what makes me, me. I am not a simple girl though i long to be. i am filled with alot of discord that i mainly bring upon myself. and that is how i like it. and while i prolly wont change my ways, i may try to change my perspective on my ways. i figure only good things can happen.
thank you for putting this post on a grumbly monday day light savings morning. i needed this.
KC said,
March 12, 2007 at 7:35 am
this is where i am supposed to ask when the last time was that you went outside for a walk or showered… so?
I think I know what you were listening to when you wrote this. =)
Change is good. I switch it up all the time. Although, I do just about everything I can wearing the ipod. Nothing new or different about that.
Breathe, Julie… “say it out loud, it’ll be ok, I will be all right I will be all right…”
michael said,
March 12, 2007 at 8:24 am
Beta Band!
Christy said,
March 12, 2007 at 8:33 am
Will has decided to say, “Pardon my freedom.” every time he farts.
Heather said,
March 12, 2007 at 8:34 am
Dig KC, drying the rain and whatnot.
Jenn said,
March 12, 2007 at 9:02 am
I am definitely going to do the “Listen to your MP3 player while you grocery shop” one. The muzak they play in my supermarket is enough to make me want to stab myself in my eyeball.
Also, one of my biggest pet peeves ever are people having run of the mill cell phone conversations in public places. Yes, fine, okay. Emergencies, I get. Do we need milk? phone calls I get. You can save the “I just found the cutest shoes and oh my god can you believe what Susan said about Jane and I was thinking about getting my hair cut and I have to find a new dentist” phone calls for your private spaces. I hate those people walking around the mall or the grocery store with those wireless earphone thingys yacking away about their dog’s obedience class or their kid’s day care or their sister’s date last night. Please, just shut up, buy your groceries and STOP TAKING UP THE WHOLE DAMN AISLE.
Yeah, I’m definitely going to do the MP3 thing.
spanky said,
March 12, 2007 at 9:34 am
Jenn, maybe you should just take a walking stick to the store with you and smack all the offenders. thats what i do. cheaper than a mp3 player too. also more enjoyable.
Jenn said,
March 12, 2007 at 9:53 am
You know, I really considered doing just that but apparently there are laws against things like assult and battery. But how can it be wrong when it’s so justly deserved? Also, don’t these people have any shame or sense of privacy? I don’t want some random stranger in the grocery store knowing MY business.
spanky said,
March 12, 2007 at 10:23 am
You could just causually smack the phone right off their head with the cane and then pretend to fall. then act like they hurt you and hopefully the experience will so etched in their mind they will never feel comfy talking in the store again. im telling ya, i can come up with endless solutions to public annoyances.
spanky said,
March 12, 2007 at 10:24 am
also, while whipping the cane around in a seizure-like frenzy you should hum “jesus loves me” that will REALLY make them shut the fucking phone off.
julieluongo said,
March 12, 2007 at 10:30 am
Jenn, you used to fake fight with Phill in the grocery store! Your assignment: have a mundane conversation on the cell in public just to see what’s it’s like. You can call me. I’m trying to decided what to do with my hair. Oh…and I have these new cute shoes…
julieluongo said,
March 12, 2007 at 10:32 am
Michael & Heather… WHAT? How exactly did you know I was listening to that!?!?!? I’ve searched for a hidden camera. My next guess is that you and KC were chatting this morning.
julieluongo said,
March 12, 2007 at 10:33 am
Oh, and if there is a hidden camera, pardon my freedom.
julieluongo said,
March 12, 2007 at 10:39 am
And Spanky, I’m all about the simple solution. I’ve found smiling works when I’m cranky. Yes, I fake smile until I feel better. Pathetic, but true.
julieluongo said,
March 12, 2007 at 10:42 am
Oh, wait, is that a lyric from the song I like? I got it. Hidden camera alert on Pink, folks. Back to Pink.
KC said,
March 12, 2007 at 10:53 am
HA! I thought I was being slick and making a covert reference but apparently your friends/readers have at least some good taste in music… good work people, good work.
spanky said,
March 12, 2007 at 10:56 am
spanky said,
March 12, 2007 at 10:57 am
that wasnt a fake smile either.
KC said,
March 12, 2007 at 10:59 am
which you can tell by the eyebrows.
Heather said,
March 12, 2007 at 11:00 am
We’re psychic, yo.
spanky said,
March 12, 2007 at 11:40 am
KC….made me laugh out loud “eyebrows” hahahah gotta get them shaped up a little.
Jenn said,
March 12, 2007 at 12:20 pm
Phil and I never had to fake fight in the grocery store. It was mind boggling enough for our fellow shoppers to figure out what the hell a very tall, very white red headed woman pushing a grocery cart was doing with a young black boy also pushing a grocery cart and mumbling about “Phil don’t eat no beans.” Throw in my Indian roommate and their heads practically exploded.
There’s no way I can talk on the phone in the grocery store. Every fiber of my being would revolt against it. And as much as I love Spanky’s ideas, in reality, I probably would not be able to go through with them. My husband, on the other hand, probably would. Properly riled up, he has no problem making a scene in public. The thought of it just makes me cringe. Really all I want to do is get my groceries and be done with it, and if you can keep your screaming child quiet long enough to provide me with a one-aisle buffer so I may shop in peace, so much the better.
Saranne Fosselman Miller said,
March 12, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Ah, from the one and only Julie who taught me everything I ever needed to know about climbing around on closet shelving, er, I mean, changing my perspective on life! Just today I realized how mean I am to others. I’ve mentioned my meanness before, in jest, but today, in an epiphanetic (not a word) moment, I saw just how unjustly mean I am to people. I would totally beat people with walking sticks in the grocery store. My kids and I make fun of those special, special human beings who think we all want to listen to their phone conversations. My husband is obnoxiously (spelling) loud on his phone so I make him go outside when he’s talking which only results in him standing in the middle of our street hollering his phone conversation up one side of the block and down the other. I have to scold him for this behavior and he then claims that he can’t win with me and I am mean and nothing is ever good enough for me and then he gets our children to call me “Little Miss Perfect.”
Friday night, my husband ripped the sliding door off my minivan (long story). The van was parked at one of my places of work. He kept running in and out of my place of business, panic stricken that I was going to have to drive home without a door. I then had to scold him for tearing the door off it’s hinges in the first place. The fight continued for hours, into and through dinner, at which point he insisted that I help him duct-tape black trash bags over the gaping hole on the side of the van where the door should have been. I refused and said that I’d rather have the car stolen off the street on a Friday night than drive around in a ghetto mobile. We screamed and shouted a little more. He apologized and when I started in on my, “If you had just come get me when the door jammed….” speech, my nine-year-old was like, “Whoa there, mommy. Let’s not get all ‘Little Miss Perfect’ on daddy. He said he was sorry. Don’t keep making him feel bad about your ghetto car.” Talk about changing my perspective. Of course, I couldn’t. I ground him into the floor all weekend for the door. But now that I’ve seen the light, via Julie, and Spanky’s nice brows, I will try and be nicer to people.
Well, my four-year-old just presented herself to me with her face, hands, arms and legs decorated in markers. I don’t understand why my kids think it’s necessary to color all over themselves.
Please, talk amonst yourselves. Go about your business. Pretend I’m not here.
KC said,
March 12, 2007 at 1:45 pm
kindergarden tattoos. ahh, those were the days.
michael said,
March 12, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Yes, there is no hidden camera. So stop looking already will you and hey, turn off that nonsense you’re watching right now and get started on Buffy, Missy. I like that shirt you’re wearing… Anyway The Beta Band rules the most. I was only surprised that, given your fear of music, you know of them. KC, I’m assuming, turned you on to them. Good work KC. But here’s a kicker: Do you know about Gun Club?! Huh, do ya punk? (no I don’t really want to have a musical throwdown… I just think everyone needs to know about Gun Club. Fire of Love in particular. You must buy or D/L the album right now.)
Jenn said,
March 12, 2007 at 2:48 pm
Jesus. Brought to your proverbial knees by a 9 year old. Smart kid, he is.
I know how you feel though, on both feeling bad and being annoyed by other people. I sometimes stop and think about how mean I am to and about other people and it makes me feel bad. This usually happens right after I yell at my husband for making fun of somebody. Sure, it’s okay when *I* do it, but when he does it, suddenly it’s wrong. Go figure.
Anyway, I have to say I am much less mean about things in general though than I used to be. But I admit I still tell my husband to STOP SINGING BECAUSE YOU ARE GETTING ON MY NERVES even though I suspect it hurts his feelings more than he lets on. Too bad, buddy. You’re hurting my ears.
KC said,
March 12, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Michael, the Gun Club… yes yes yes, their bassist, Patricia Morrison, toured with a band, Fur Bible, who opened up for Siouxsie and Banshees (my fav. band in middle school).
youre going to have to come up with something more obscure to have a muscial throwdown with me… oh wait, you dont want to have one. DAMN!
I dont have that album, but I will check it out just for you, Michael. And if it’s any good, Julie, maybe you’ll find a selection from it on the next installment.
julieluongo said,
March 12, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Yes, Michael, KC sent me a mix CD. That’s how you spoon feed musical conservatives. You make them mix CDs based on their mention of The Shins. You also buy CDs someone else recommends, the Gun Club for example, and you offer to include the top selections from it on a new mix CD.
And there, for the grace of KC, evolves my musical taste.
Saranne Fosselman Miller said,
March 12, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Jenn, I have three girls. And the cat is a girl. As well as the fish. And the two gerbils. I am never mean to my cat. She is the only soul in this world who agrees with me on everything I say and only seldom talks back when she feels I am terribly wrong.
I like Sufjan Stevens, Guy Forsyth, Elliott Smith, Damien Rice, Iron & Wine, etc.
MO, I checked out Gun Club. Love it. Regardless of my melodramatic folkish taste in music, I am open to new tunes at all times.
Here’s one of my all-time faves.
Christy said,
March 12, 2007 at 3:55 pm
Michael – Remember you’re back in the states now where a lot of people have obscure (or extensive) popular music knowledge (probably more than you or mr. snobby mcsnobberson (Scott)). I know you’ve been wowing the Iraqis for the past few years…
Jenn said,
March 12, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Well that explains it. Girls are way smater than boys.
Saranne Fosselman Miller said,
March 12, 2007 at 4:27 pm
Right on.
julieluongo said,
March 12, 2007 at 4:54 pm
I know lots of smart-smarter-smartest men. Nice ones too. I heart them.
michael said,
March 12, 2007 at 5:11 pm
I know I know… but, I really love Gun Club, and the fact that KC knows them just means she has good taste. I just like to spread the word, just in case. While it’s true I’ve been out of the States, it’s also true that I know very few people who have… acquired… through the internet… wink wink… as much music as snobby mcsnobberson, Mr. wants-to-be-a-werewolf, and I did on our soujorn in Baghdad. Hundeds and hundeds and hundred of gigabytes, dude. So, pretty much I got it all. I haven’t actually listened to most of it, but I got it.
julieluongo said,
March 12, 2007 at 5:21 pm
I thought he wanted to be a vampire.
michael said,
March 12, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Actually, if you want to get technical, he did want to be a vampire, but he actually thought he might be a werewolf, for a time.
Saranne Fosselman Miller said,
March 12, 2007 at 6:17 pm
Michael’s smart.
Jenn said,
March 12, 2007 at 6:25 pm
Natually there will be exceptions to the rule. For instance, my husband is at times way smarter than me. I don’t tell him that though…
michael said,
March 12, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Aw shucks you guys. Between Christy trying her best to deflate my big head and you guys trying to blow it up through inflation, I might make it through all of this banter even keeled… or really confused. Either way.
Guy Forsyth is cool.
Gary said,
March 12, 2007 at 7:00 pm
Hey mike – start uploading something good that I don’t have:
http://www.wfzr.net/radio/playing.php – - left hand side – navigation – Upload!
Gary said,
March 12, 2007 at 7:01 pm
hey mike – upload something good to my radio station
Gary said,
March 12, 2007 at 7:03 pm
nah forget it – I didn’t like that Guy Forsyth song
michael said,
March 12, 2007 at 7:11 pm
ouch
Gary said,
March 12, 2007 at 7:14 pm
I’m just kidding man – you could upload somethin! I like lots of snobby hipster stuff
michael said,
March 12, 2007 at 7:50 pm
I, um, don’t know how to do that, anyway. Upload stuff, I mean.
Gary said,
March 12, 2007 at 9:13 pm
it’s ok – I just started salivating when I read hundreds and hundreds of gigs…
if you go over to http://www.wfzr.net there’s an option to upload files. songs that are uploaded there get added to the playlist automatically – and will be played and can be selected (requested) to play automatically.
spanky said,
March 13, 2007 at 5:57 am
wow. gun club. huh. well i seem to have missed alot.
Saranne Fosselman Miller said,
March 13, 2007 at 6:57 am
Spank, since I know you don’t or can’t click on links from that time-comsuming job of yours, Gun Club rocks, or punks, should I say, and Forsyth sang the beach video song about the world being infinite and accessible all at the same time and learning religion by watching Luke Skywalker letting go and closing his eyes.
Michael, don’t let the man, or Christy, get you down. I need a really smart, world traveler to guide me through my really smart, world traveler novel that I’ve been writing. Ever been to Guatemala? (this is a joke on me. I’m sorry, was I still talking…)
I promised myself this morning that I would not blog today. How am I doing?
Heather said,
March 13, 2007 at 8:02 am
Saranne: you’re doing at least as well as the rest of us. Yay!
spanky said,
March 13, 2007 at 8:42 am
HEYYYYYY I AM MICHAELS NEW ASSISTANT….BACK OFF SARA HE IS MINE. he is also my financial consultant. actually im not his assistant, but im working on it.
Heather said,
March 13, 2007 at 8:58 am
Not only is Mike UNICEF’S Musical Goodwill Ambassador, he’s second in line for Austin Powers’ gig. Please, ladies. Don’t crowd the man.
spanky said,
March 13, 2007 at 9:19 am
he is a tiger i tell ya.
michael said,
March 13, 2007 at 11:05 am
I’d answer the Guatemala question, but I’m too busy blushing. I might hit South/Central America soon though… dunno yet.
Heather said,
March 13, 2007 at 11:34 am
Hit it? Is that your choice of words? Nice!
Saranne Fosselman Miller said,
March 13, 2007 at 11:48 am
Excellent, Michael. We’ll compare notes and I’ll write a little something on my acknowledments page for you. And if you are Spanky’s financial consultant I think you need to look into a new line of work. She is flat broke.
michael said,
March 13, 2007 at 11:53 am
Um… I take no responsibility for Spanky’s financial situation. I think she took my Money Market Vs. CD advise a little to seriously, is all. If she went flat broke since yesterday, my bad.
Heather, I’m gonna hit you in a minnit…
spanky said,
March 13, 2007 at 1:13 pm
sara you are a ass. atleast he knows what a money market is. i am not broke, i have like 20 in my checking which is better than usual. ill be going on yer next trip Michael. to assist.
julieluongo said,
March 13, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Spanky, how are you going to Support this Writer with 20 bucks? Chop chop girl! The team needs you.
Saranne Fosselman Miller said,
March 13, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Is Michael puffing? I’m feeling a puff.
My financial advisor, who is me, has me on a healthy cycle of weekly overdrafts. I absolutely love it! There is nothing like overdrawing my account on a Sunday and making a mad dash to the bank Monday to see if I can get the cash into the account prior to the account posting the overdraft charge. The tellers enjoy me. And so does my preschool class when I promise them all lollipops if they walk in a perfect line down the sidewalk from the school to the bank and back without tripping, losing a shoe or stopping to feverishly jump as hard as they can on those stupid steel basement doors that lay flush with the sidewalk because they enjoy the accoustics of rusted metal plates loosely adhered and suspended over cavernous, concrete stairwells.
michael said,
March 13, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Ain’t no puff here.
Heather said,
March 13, 2007 at 2:33 pm
I’d hit that Guatemala so hard… Just me, Guatemala, and a single lightbulb hanging down. Yeah. That’s what I’m talking about.
spanky said,
March 14, 2007 at 6:38 am
heather are you saying youd like to have rough sex with Guatemala in a ditry basement with a lightbulb?
also i have not seen an overdraft in quite sometime, mainly due to the fact that domestic relations seized money from my ex husband. so at the moment my life is like the flooding happy times in africa and there is a drought just over the horizon.
spanky said,
March 14, 2007 at 6:38 am
and Julie…I will support you no matter what…I am just waiting for the numbers to come to me. the winning lotto numbers that is.
Heather said,
March 14, 2007 at 9:44 am
I’m saying Guatemala’s got it coming, sister.
spanky said,
March 14, 2007 at 10:22 am
ok then. glad we cleared that up.
Heather said,
March 14, 2007 at 11:10 am
Jenn said,
March 14, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Listen, just cause Guatamala is wearing the skimpy clothes doesn’t means she’s asking for it. It’s hot there. That has to be taken into consideration.
spanky said,
March 14, 2007 at 1:18 pm
yes, it is hot ( i think) and honestly if i can wear my striped old navy pj’s to the store with a wife beater on…then they can wear what they please too. newport (where i live) is alot like a third world county.
Saranne Fosselman Miller said,
March 14, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Which is exactly why I think I can get away with writing about Guatamala without ever having been there. Lightbulb and all. Cha-cha-cha! Or….is that Mexico I’m thinking of.
Jenn said,
March 14, 2007 at 4:30 pm
I’ve never been to Guatamala or Mexico. I am far to pale to go anywhere tropical. I have, however, been to Canada.
spanky said,
March 15, 2007 at 8:13 am
ive been to canada too. dint feel much different to me.
Jenn said,
March 15, 2007 at 9:36 am
Canada didn’t seem that different either, but we didn’t go too far past the borders – you know the usual Niagara Falls and stuff. I did see a travel video for Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island, and I’d like to go there.
spanky said,
March 15, 2007 at 10:16 am
we had a hooker flash us. it was fantastic. but not unlike united states
Jenn said,
March 15, 2007 at 10:21 am
If our friend Phil ever shows up again, he can tell you about how the hooker tried to pick him up on the train in Philadelphia.
That’s the only hooker story I know, and it’s not even mine. I don’t have any hooker stories – I’ve lead a sheltered life. You should tell your hooker story.
spanky said,
March 15, 2007 at 10:30 am
Ok so I shall…..we were 18 on senior class trip to toronto? I think? anyway nice place very clean and we were out and about walking the streets on night. maybe like 15 of us, smoking and drinking and we come upong these very tall, very pretty woman-ish ladies standing in the street. all the girls…give blank stare…the boys giggled. and the head hooker in a fantastic french accent said “YOu boys want to like some pussy?” and then she lifted her lycra mini skirt showing us the beaver. i think a couple guys passed out. I personally was mezmorized by the whole event. where were her underware i asked myself?? I have gone commando ever since. Just incase i find myself ina flashing kinda mood. and that is my story.
spanky said,
March 15, 2007 at 10:31 am
damn it i meant lick not like…shott that ruins the whole story. shit.
Jenn said,
March 15, 2007 at 10:48 am
That is a great story. I’d say “Only in Canada” but I think that kind of stuff happens in NY all the time.
spanky said,
March 15, 2007 at 10:51 am
Yeah, im full of em. not quite as good as david sedaris walking into a room of rubber wankers everywhere (his friend from the fruit plant) yikes. but yeah ive got my share.
julieluongo said,
March 15, 2007 at 11:22 am
“You want to like some pussy” is a far superior thing to say with a French accent than “you want to lick some pussy.”
I highly recommend Montreal. It’s like going to Europe, without the long flight. Ok, there was a long drive. But I love a roadtrip.
spanky said,
March 15, 2007 at 11:27 am
lol i know, my typos make the story better dont they
Jenn said,
March 23, 2007 at 2:30 pm
We’re too close here to just let it go. You know what I mean. Think of something fun and relevant to say. (Yeah, I know I probably spelled relevant wrong, but it’s friday. Screw the dictionary)
Jenn said,
March 23, 2007 at 2:31 pm
I’ve got one. It’s Friday Hooker Flash Story day. Or just Hooker Story day. Post ‘em if you got ‘em.
spanky said,
March 23, 2007 at 2:32 pm
but i already used my hooker story. what a rip.
spanky said,
March 23, 2007 at 2:32 pm
i guess i could speak out about my days as a hooker. OOps did i just type that out loud?
spanky said,
March 23, 2007 at 2:34 pm
Actually, i did know a hooker once. her name was julie. and she whipped people for a living. she looked like Xena to me and i worshiped her. but she never did let me see her whips and stuff…she cited business policy. very business like hooker she was. also she had velvet walls. that was cool too
Jenn said,
March 23, 2007 at 2:43 pm
Why yes, yes you did type that out loud. However, you can refuse to tell those stories on account of your business policies.