I have an overblown emotional reaction to music. So, I’m musically conservative. I’ve had the same tapes in my car since the 80s Rain Dogs (Tom Waits) and Very Best of Elvis Costello. Sure, I’ve introduced some new things into my collection but only on the advice of people who know me well. So, basically, I let people I trust spoon feed me. It’s not easy.
I used to work at a massive furniture store complex where they played a soft pop Muzak in the main store a la Celine Dion, Gloria Estefan, Paul Simon. Friendly shopping music. They also played some songs I never heard anywhere else before. Mystery music. And they played them every day. There was one song that would send me running, hands over my ears to the Thomasville Gallery to chill with the snooty sale people and listen to Chopin. Nothing normal about that reaction in a place of business.
And that’s mild. I’ve burst into tears in public at sad music. Angry, ear-bleeding music can ruin a party for me. Sometimes the idea that angry or overly loud music is going to be played will put me in a state of high alert. And if the music selections take a bad turn, I escape quickly. My pal that I play backgammon with learned this the night I stood up in the middle of a game and announced that I had to go. I wasn’t so self aware then. We both know my deal now.
I was just reminded of a night I saw Nickelback (I think) right before they went on their first national tour. They were playing for their loyal fans in a warehouse-like space. I wasn’t one of their loyal fans. The volume was painful and the music was indiscernible. I was so unhappy. I felt like I might implode from my severe discomfort.
As luck would have it, I had a makeup sponge in my handbag. This was no small miracle since I don’t really wear make-up. I ripped two chunks off of it and stuffed them into my ears, and I was slightly better. I was already deaf, but I’d staved off further damage, and the “music” was muted. I suffered as long as I could then joined people in the alley, which was vastly better. You know you’re in trouble when you’re happy to be hanging out in a darkened alley with strangers in an industrial part of LA.
The good news is that when someone gives me something I like, I have an equal and opposite reaction. I’ll listen to a beloved song over and over and feel compelled to post it on my blog where I save all sorts of things I love. I might even be persuaded to dance like the queen of the eyesores, although I’m not sure who she is. Maybe I’ll dance like the queen of the earsores, which is a dance to the exit to hang out in the alley to try not to listen to Nickelback.
The video isn’t anything special, but I posted the lyrics for those of you who like to sing along (and thought he said “go teeth” at the beginning of this song).
THE SHINS – “New Slang”
Gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in my mouth.
Only, I don’t know how they got out, dear.
Turn me back into the pet that I was when we met.
I was happier then with no mind-set.
And if you’d ‘a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, i’d ‘a jumped from my tree
And i’d a danced like the king of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would ‘a fared well.
New slang when you notice the stripes, the dirt in your fries.
Hope it’s right when you die, old and bony.
Dawn breaks like a bull through the hall,
Never should have called
But my head’s to the wall and i’m lonely.
And if you’d ‘a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, i’d ‘a jumped from my tree
And i’d a danced like the king of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would ‘a fared well.
God speed all the bakers at dawn may they all cut their thumbs,
And bleed into their buns ’till they melt away.
I’m looking in on the good life I might be doomed never to find.
Without a trust or flaming fields am I too dumb to refine?
And if you’d ‘a took to me like
Well I’d a danced like the queen of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would ‘a fared well.
[The art is by Jordi Labanda.]
michael said,
March 3, 2007 at 7:28 am
Yeah, this song’ll change your life.
Looks like a good party.
Gary said,
March 3, 2007 at 11:04 am
My favorite subject.
One thing that sucks about getting older is it’s harder to find new music that you like. It takes much more effort for me than it used to. BUT I will make that effort because I refuse to be stuck in a musical time-warp. I worked in radio and one of the many things I learned was that radio stations are designed for those of us that want to stay in 1985 or whatever time was bitchen for them. And as an engineer I listened to my stations a lot (because we liked to make sure they were still there, on the air). I did it for 4 years and now I can’t listen to a commercial radio station at all. I’m glad about that though because it’s terrible and it’s bad for you. I did get bitten by the radio bug though and I do actually miss working at these crappy stations (more just because of the job itself and the people – not the product I helped put out there.)
Anyway, I hate it when people bitch about there being no good music “now” or whenever. There’s always good and there’s always bad. It’s just that the stuff being made now as “product” is becoming more and more narrow. You can thank corporate america for that. So now you just have to try harder.
Julie I’m so sorry that you had to see and hear Nickleback. Someone should have been there to stop that from happening. If I could go back in time I’d try to do something to prevent that.
Gary said,
March 3, 2007 at 2:27 pm
Ok – 2 essential albums you must have if you’re having a party and it’s running late and you want people to leave:
Freak Out! – Frank Zappa and the Mothers
try this one first, and if that doesn’t work fast enough:
Captain Beefheart – Trout Mask
people who are passed out drunk will suddenly wake up and leave when you put this on.
btw – I happen to love both of these albums so this won’t work on me. The sure fire way to get me to leave is to put on Meat Loaf – Bat Out Of Hell – I’ll be gone faster than you can scream “Stop right there!!”
Gary said,
March 3, 2007 at 2:31 pm
I should have said if you want normal people to leave – those won’t work on weirdos and freaks.
oh and it’s Trout Mask Replica
oh and any Slayer or Pantera will work on most people – but it’s less reliable since you might have some aging metalheads over who will love it.
Heather said,
March 3, 2007 at 2:57 pm
What Mike said.
Heather said,
March 3, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Also, friends don’t let friends listen to Nickelback.
Saranne Fosselman said,
March 3, 2007 at 4:00 pm
I LOVE THE SHINS!!!! And “New Slang” is my most frequented song. I love it, love it, love it. I think it’s on the Garden State Soundtrack, no? Maybe Good Will Hunting. Speaking of which, I also enjoy Elliott Smith. My other fave is Sean Mullins. I meant to see him in a coffee house here in Philly, and when showtime rolled around I was too tired to leave my house, which I guess can be kinda like not tolerating loud music. (are we getting old?)
I don’t mind loud music, but I do mind music that turns my insides to jagged edges and I become displaced – regardless of the volume.
I use iTunes because I hate to leave the house and have gone almost two years now without having entered a mall. Recently, I was looking for “Into the Mystic” by Van Morrison. This was my all-time fave in college – and “Me and Bobby McGee.” But iTunes doesn’t have “Into the Mystic.” Not the version by Van Morrison. So I hauled my ass to Target and purchased Van’s soundtrack numbers on CD. The live version of “Into the Mystic” on this CD promted tears on route 76. It is so moving and so…..everything I ever asked of Mr. Morrison.
kc said,
March 3, 2007 at 5:10 pm
did you know Nickelback is Christy’s absolute favorite band?
Michael was referencing Garden State… just thought i’d throw that out there.
This blog makes me want to make you a cd. do you have a cd player? i dont have a way to make mix tapes anymore, its sad really, but true. good music that moves me in one way or another is really 75% of what i live for. the other 24% would be divided up between Milo and women. what about the other 1% you ask… well you always have to leave 1% for the margin of error, right?
Gary said,
March 3, 2007 at 5:29 pm
“but I do mind music that turns my insides to jagged edges and I become displaced”
That’s heavy. I wish I had some idea what it meant.
Saranne Fosselman said,
March 3, 2007 at 8:54 pm
Okay, I’m going to go now.
Sorry I missed Micheal’s reference.
Sorry that I didn’t make sense.
Later.
Saranne Fosselman said,
March 3, 2007 at 9:03 pm
LOL…..I’m back…
Gary, it’s not even a sentence! I wanted to come back and tell you exactly what I meant, but I can’t. It’s not a statement. It’s a handicapped structure of words that means nothing.
I have to lay off the cold medicine.
I used to get paid to write. Now there’s a good laugh….
julieluongo said,
March 4, 2007 at 1:06 am
KC, heck yeah I have a CD player. It’s an old boombox-type thing my sister bought me after I gave her my sweet hi-fi system from the early 90s.
Gary, Slayer…Pantera? I can’t own those. I feel angry just thinking about them. Plus, I don’t generally shoo people out. I entice them to stay.
Saranne, I’ve got the jagged-edged displacement going on without the aid of cold medicine.
Saranne Fosselman said,
March 4, 2007 at 8:28 am
Whew! So I am okay? Good to know.
…I have to go take some Allegra now.
Gary said,
March 4, 2007 at 8:31 am
“Gary, Slayer…Pantera? I can’t own those. I feel angry just thinking about them. Plus, I don’t generally shoo people out. I entice them to stay.”
Remember what some one said about anger being good sometimes? Anyway, if anyone bought those albums for that purpose that would be pretty weird. I wouldn’t expect grown-ups to own that stuff. Don’t worry, if I ever get invited to a party I’ll bring them.
Jenn said,
March 4, 2007 at 5:06 pm
I too live for iTunes and my iPod. Commercial radio was greatly exacerbating my road rage and I couldn’t do it any more. Especially morning DJs. Oh. My. God. They made me want to stab myself in the head.
Now I have an iPod and I love it. I was having fun downloading stuff illegally there for a while, but I have since discovered an amazing source of music in our local library system. I guess it’s still technically breaking the law putting the stuff on my iPod and taking the CD back to the library, but whatever.
Jenn said,
March 4, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Speaking of angry music though, I like angry music on occasion. A little Rage against the Machine or Metallica never killed anyone. But I betcha people have been driven to unspeakable acts by grocery store muzak.
spanky said,
March 5, 2007 at 6:23 am
I just listen to the radio. I have never in my life bought a cd. I like all kinds of music but am heavily inspired when a radio station has an all eighties weekend.
yes, further proof that i am a pathetic dweeb. also went to concert with sara to see rem and we got beaten in some sort of mass hysteria mob pitt because the band Live was there to sing with rem. i think i broke three ribs being smashed against a metal fence. I am also sure i got punch by security over the whole matter.
havent been to a concert since.
Jenn said,
March 5, 2007 at 9:02 am
I’m not much for concerts, except when it comes to Tom Petty. I’ve seen him 13 times and counting. I love him. His concerts are the best of times – we once got fifth row tickets to a show AND he did an acoustic version of my favorite song of all time, Rebels AND we went to see him the next night in Hershey.
His concerts were also the worst of times. I made the mistake of going with a friend once, and the only thing that distracted her from bitching about the concrete supports we were sitting next to (and blocking a VERY small portion of the view) was “that awful smell:.
“What’s that smell?”
“What smell?”
“That awful burning smell.”
“You mean the pot?”
“THAT’S POT? PEOPLE ARE SMOKING POT? THIS IS AN INDOOR ARENA.”
“It’s a Tom Petty concert. People smoke pot.”
“YOU CAN’T SMOKE POT! IT’S ILLEGAL! POT IS ILLEGAL! THIS IS AN INDOOR ARENA!”
“It’s a Tom Petty concert. People smoke pot”
“POT IS ILLEGAL! HOW DO THEY KNOW I AM NOT A DEA AGENT AND I WILL ARREST THEM FOR SMOKING POT?”
“You’re not a DEA agent”
“I COULD BE! I COULD ARREST THESE PEOPLE”
“But you’re not, and you can’t”
“POT IS ILLEGAL AND PEOPLE ARE SMOKING IT”
“Listen, I’m pretty sure even Tom Petty is high, so please, take a nice, long deep breath and shut the fuck up.”
Needless to say, we’re not friends anymore.
But in general, I am not a concert goer because I cannot stand being around that many other people for an extended period of time.
julieluongo said,
March 5, 2007 at 10:09 am
I thought you told me Tom Petty didn’t smoke pot. You’d read it somewhere, maybe?
spanky said,
March 5, 2007 at 10:17 am
I was never a good pot smoker. i am much better cigarete smoker
Heather said,
March 5, 2007 at 10:25 am
Jenn, Tom Petty is the unacknowledged genius of our time. Plus, he’s got the best weed.
Gary said,
March 5, 2007 at 10:28 am
Tom gets his weed and shrooms from Willie Nelson.
Heather said,
March 5, 2007 at 10:28 am
Matthew Sweet asked me to get him some weed one time after a show at ESU. Of course, I
looked likewas a big smoker at that time.Cordelia said,
March 5, 2007 at 10:32 am
The Shins! Yay!
Tom Petty makes my ears bleed. I like his music and his writing and if he would please just not sing, I’d be very happy. Maybe it’d be better if I smoked pot.
Heather said,
March 5, 2007 at 10:35 am
No. His voice is always crazy. But the writing is always good.
Jenn said,
March 5, 2007 at 10:40 am
Tom Petty doesn’t smoke as much weed as he did, and never during the production part of making an album.
julieluongo said,
March 5, 2007 at 10:50 am
I hear you on the ear-bleeding. I used to date a guy who love David Bowie. And while I could appreciate his work, I was like, “dude, he’s flat.” And yet I listen to Tom Waits and my heart grows like the Grinch’s.
spanky said,
March 5, 2007 at 11:02 am
I like tom petty.
Jenn said,
March 5, 2007 at 11:14 am
Opera makes my ears bleed.
Jenn said,
March 5, 2007 at 11:16 am
I just picked up the Garden State soundtrack from the library and that song is on there. I’ll listen to it next, just as soon as I finish illegally copying Bruce Springsteen and Frank Sinatra to my ipod.
Jenn said,
March 5, 2007 at 11:22 am
On Zach Braff – We just watched his latest movie, The Last Kiss. I HATED it. Hated it. And usually I like him. But I found the whole story kind of offensive to me and I couldn’t really sympathize with his character. In fact, I seriously disliked that character.
Momma, you should get that movie. You’d probably like it.
Gary said,
March 5, 2007 at 11:38 am
Zach Braff went to my highschool and I knew his older brother. I also knew the Shue’s (Andrew and Elizabeth) a little bit – and Boris Valejo’s son Dorian painted my denim jacket for me. (Just trying to keep up with Heather)
spanky said,
March 5, 2007 at 11:43 am
garden state soundtrac changed my life just like it said it would in the jacket area.
actually sara burned for me and when i was hastily trading my flat tire/deer hit car in for a new one i left it in the car. and i couldnt call and ask because i was sure they’d all be like” hey now missy we see the tire is flat and deer fur in the hood. Just what is the meaning of this” and at the age of thirty i still cant own up to my own shiftyness so i wait for sara to burn it for me again. love love love that music.
Jenn said,
March 5, 2007 at 11:43 am
Jeez Gary. Namedrop much? LOL
spanky said,
March 5, 2007 at 11:44 am
I took Zack’s virginity!!! TOP THAT GARY!!!
Jenn said,
March 5, 2007 at 11:54 am
I think Spanky wins. If she’s not being shifty again.
spanky said,
March 5, 2007 at 12:37 pm
Of course I am being shifty, although i think i could handle the job if given proper opportunity.
Heather said,
March 5, 2007 at 1:02 pm
We are six degrees from Zach Braff! Call the Enquirer!
Saranne Fosselman said,
March 5, 2007 at 1:06 pm
Zach told me I was the one who took his virginity. Huh. Interesting. Now who’s the shifty one? I’m calling him right now to straighten this whole thing out. I totally believed him!
The Rain in Spain Falls Mainly on The Strokes « Julie Luongo said,
March 17, 2007 at 4:27 pm
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