There’s a website called Freecycle that connects a bunch of cheap, scavenger hippie-types (me) with socially responsible neatnicks (other people). Here’s what happens. The neatnicks look at their stuff and say, “I don’t use this anymore, but it’s still in good shape. Someone could use it.” Then the neatnick posts it on the Freecycle message board for his or her area.
The scavenger reads the posting and says, “A box of hair dye and a bag of old maternity clothes? That rocks. How funny would it be to dye my hair and wear loose-in-the-belly clothes around to freak out my mom/boyfriend/dad?”
The scavenger then responds to the neatnick’s post and asks if the treasure is still available. The neatnick says that yes, the scavenger is indeed the first scavenger to respond. Hence, that scavenger is the winner.
The scavenger then gets directions and sets up a time to meet the neatnick. The scavenger goes to his/her car and realizes the battery is dead. The scavenger then gets the car jumped and drives it to his/her friend’s house because naturally s/he knows a guy who can fix it for next to nothing. The scavenger then spends the day drinking beer, playing with the car fixer’s dog, taking a nap, eating a hoagie…
The neatnick reposts about the hair dye and the maternity clothes and specifies that people need not respond if they don’t intend on picking the stuff up!
Ah, the best laid plans, my friends…they always involve people like me.
*Thanks to Lori for the picture. (And just thanks in general for Lori’s effed up sense of humor.)
Bunche said,
November 4, 2006 at 7:50 pm
I just showed the “free cat” photo to Tracey the waitress goddess, and she told me that when she was around nine years old she and her family were visiting someone in the country, and they encountered a dead deer on the roadside. Ever creative and evil, wee Tracey got her hands on some plywood and paint, and made a bunch of signs that she planted at forty foot intervals leading up to the animal’s corpse, the first of which read “Hey, Kids! Come visit Bambi at the Christmas village!” As the would-be Bambi visitor got closer the signs would tantalize with “Almost there!” and the like, eventually leading the expectant kids to the mouldering carcass and a sign that proclaimed “Hi! I’m Bambi!”
Brilliant.
P. Cunningham said,
November 4, 2006 at 11:15 pm
That picture is comedy in its purest form. I am upset that you found it first.
Jenn said,
November 5, 2006 at 12:39 am
You people are sick, sick, sick. Seriously. You need help.
Lisa said,
November 8, 2006 at 12:46 am
Okay, I officially love Freecycle. I just joined the lower bucks county group.This is the answer to my prayers. As a certified pack rat I am incapable of getting rid of anything usable just because I don’t want it. And I can’t throw books away — I think that’s one of the original sins, isn’t it? So now, in addition to being highly entertained by the crap other people offer for free (coupons? c’mon people; used potty seats? that’s just gross) I can actually get rid of my own crap guilt-free. I have just posted the 4 foot tall stuffed animal dog that I took from someone else (who was – gasp – about to throw it away) to give to Sheamus. Unfortunately, Sheamus is terrified of it. His trash will hopefully soon be someone else’s treasure.
julieluongo said,
November 8, 2006 at 12:56 am
Someone posted a used kitty litter pan. She wrote, “I know this is gross, but what the heck.” And then went on to describe. A few days later there was a Taken post on the cat box. Nice.
These Are the Friends I Know, I Know « Julie Luongo said,
November 9, 2006 at 10:10 pm
[...] As a funny joke, whenever the Homecoming Queen got up to do her charade, Lori would call out, “queen, tiara, crown, princess…” before the girl started charading. It’s funny, right? Well, apparently other people think this is obnoxious. I don’t. And that’s why I love Lori. She’s the one who sent me the Free Cat picture that I caught some grief for (but that still makes me laugh). [...]
It’s a Duck, It’s a UFO, It’s a Freecycle Post « Julie Luongo said,
November 21, 2006 at 2:46 am
[...] If you’re not Freecycling, you’re part of the problem. I wrote about this last month in my chilling expose on free cats. If you weren’t tuned in that day, Freecycle is a trash-to-treasure listserv. Socially conscious people, or people who can’t bear to throw anything away, can find homes for their trash (Lisa). [...]